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Gratefulness
“What’s the point?”, I sometimes ask myself. It’s such an uncertain world out there. I mean, “It all looks so bleak. Why should I even bother to try to move forward in life or my career? Why should I try to improve my circumstances when I don’t think it will lead anywhere? Why should I try anything in this crazy, uncertain, unpredictable and difficult environment?”
Over the last few years, as I have worked through trying to deal with the uncertainty of life, the unpredictability of a career, chaos at work and the complex nature of things, I have come to some realizations that have helped me to keep going and move forward in life.
For me, EMBRACE THE CHAOS means: To ACCEPT the uncertainty of life and move forward anyway! Take action despite not knowing how things will turn out.
To stop overthinking, stop over analyzing, stop trying to predict. To go ahead, take action, move forward in life, move forward in a new career, take new action, start a new business, get into a new relationship and stop overthinking whether or not it will work.
But self-doubt arises in all of us. No matter how strong we might be, the question of WHY always comes up:
“Why should I embrace the chaos?”
Here are my own reasons to get unstuck and move forward in life…
Accept, don’t overthink, and move forward because…
Life has always been unpredictable and full of uncertainty. We just didn’t realize it. Accept it. Don’t fight it. Accepting the reality of our world today is the most important way to learn to live in it. Let go of your ego. Let go of trying to force order and perfection to an imperfect life full of ups and downs and uncertainty. Often, stress, anxiety and tension occurs when you fight hard to change something you cannot change. You can’t control the chaos. You can only change you…your thoughts and your actions. And that’s really good news…to focus on what you CAN control..you!
Uncertainty about how things will turn out tomorrow holds a lot of us back from pursuing our life ambitions, relationships or business ideas. We waste so much time trying to make sure the path we take is the ‘right one’, when the reality is that THERE IS NO RIGHT PATH…JUST THE ONE YOU’RE ON! No one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. That’s a GOOD THING in some respects because the walls around us are malleable and move constantly. You and I have just as good a shot as anyone at success and happiness. Stop trying to figure out the future and CREATE moments by working towards your purpose in the here and now. This moment right now is the only one you can be certain of.
Taking a step forward in any direction makes you feel like you have some level of control of your life. When you take action, you stop overthinking and get less anxious because in some sense, you are creating your own future in the here and now. You get a rush when you’re consumed with activity geared towards pursuing a goal, irrespective of how tough the goal. You feel like you’re in charge again because you are….of your thoughts and your actions. The positive energy generated by movement of hands and body in forward motion towards the pursuit of a higher purpose, a life long trip, a business goal or to raise a child, is often what keeps us energetic, youthful and feeling alive.
Like a stone thrown into a pond of water, somehow one tiny little step forward puts in motion other pieces, rippling away, leading you to places, people and opportunities that you can never have imagined. You didn’t get to where you are right now by your perfectly laid out plans years ago. So many of us arrived where we are through the zig zag motion of life, through stepping stones that were laid out all over the place. Some of the greatest things in your life right now, came to you by chance, randomness and luck.
The mind is a muscle and like any muscle sometimes the mind needs resistance and tension to grow and develop as much as it needs nourishment and positive energy. Use the chaos of life to learn and develop. Adversity forces you to dig down deep inside to make you rediscover your inner strength or to fire synapsis in your brain that create new learnings. Moving forward in uncertainty forces the potential energy that is already within you to come out.
You don’t know what real strength lies within unless you’re put in a situation that forces you to bring it out. You have an innate ability deep within to adapt and improvise to our new environment. You can handle it because your DNA has gone through a history of difficult times and has progressed ever since. As human beings, we have this awesome ability to persevere in really difficult times with nothing more than what you’ve been given: an able body and a strong mind. The resiliency inside all of us is dormant but kicks in when you move forward in life.
Within each of us lies a potential for great things. Think about the possibility of becoming who you really want to become…a better parent, a more successful business person who creates jobs for many, a better spouse or partner or simply contribute more to society. This great person will never be realized unless you take steps to move forward in life and do something different…to accept the chaos and move forward anyway. All of us are meant to create positive impact to all those around us, in our own unique way.
When you embrace the chaos and move forward in life, you get crystal clear as to what makes you more fulfilled, more satisfied and ultimately, more happy. Self discovery and self realizations happen during moments of confusion, clutter and consistent complexity when you’re feeling lost, headed for trouble. That’s when your mind gets really clear as to what’s the most important thing you want out of life. Because the mind cannot focus on all of those things, your mind suddenly awakens and hones in. For some of us, a big challenge or adversity that seems insurmountable at the time, jolts us to recognize what we really want. And for some people, it becomes less about the money…and more about the relationships, the family, the kids and good health.
Humility is a wonderful thing and for some of us, it only comes when you’re forced to deal with something life changing. Life is so unpredictable, fast and really, really short. When you accept the ups and downs and the uncertainty of life, you begin to be grateful for what you have and not dwell on what you don’t. The joy and happiness that comes from appreciating what you have adds fuel to the fire already burning inside to achieve your lifelong goals. You’ll only realize how great of a life you have when your wake up and see the realities of our existence. Being grateful makes you so much happier for the smallest things.
Sometimes difficult, unpredictable and terrible experiences awaken us to the realities of our existence often encouraging us to get on with work we have been waiting to do. Whether we like it or not, it forces us to make difficult choices and take bold steps forward in life. And we might have to go through these difficult times in order to truly transform into the kind of person we want to become. Once you actually embrace uncertainty and go ahead with a life goal or a relationship, you begin to change, discovering new things about yourself. You begin to value different things in life…to have deeper, richer conversations with friends, colleagues and family. To find real meaning and joy in the smallest things. Like a caterpillar, you transform into a butterfly.
People say, “things have a way of working out in the end” because it is often so true. Perhaps not always, but there’s a reason why it is a commonly used phrase. For me, in a strange way, you have to have some level of faith perhaps a belief that the accidents that happen in life are there to teach us something. To shape our life, to shape our core beliefs, to make us who we are. When you’re in the thick of uncertainty and chaos at work or in your personal life, it’s hard to see but think of all the times in your past, when you thought it was really, really bad…and maybe it really was…but often it isn’t as bad as we think and things work out.
I used to be this Type A, order loving, always hyper-stressed guy. Still am…sort of. By learning to take action, let go and see what happens, I’ve had a lot less stress and a lot more fun. Life is good…sure it’s hard…but it’s still good and can be so much more fun if you go with the flow. Some of the most fun I have ever had occurred when I was working hard on creating a new business with my wife, while performing at a high level in my corporate career. Moments came up where I realized that – wow…this is so cool. It was a lot better than sitting around in anxiety and stress waiting for the shoe to drop. Ten years from now, you may remember the difficult times but you’ll have more significant memories of the times where you joined in, moved forward, embraced spontaneity and said, why not!
Bob Miglani is the author of The Washington Post Bestseller, Embrace the Chaos, which is about learning to move forward in times of change and uncertainty. He grew up helping his family run their Dairy Queen store, which was the subject of his first book, Treat Your Customers. He has worked in a Fortune 50 Company for the last 23 years, helping his spouse run her small business and raising their three kids. Traveled around the world. He lives outside of New York City.
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I live in a 55+ mobile home community. Last week, at the Women's Morning Coffee Hour at our clubhouse, I was expressing my frustration with the office manager staff and their lack of communication with the 'old folks' in our community.
One of the women told me that companies don't have to communicate with their customers (or residents), they can do as they please without letting us know what is going on. I was taken back by this comment. In reflection, I really believe that 'Good companies ...
I live in a 55+ mobile home community. Last week, at the Women’s Morning Coffee Hour at our clubhouse, I was expressing my frustration with the office manager staff and their lack of communication with the ‘old folks’ in our community.
One of the women told me that companies don’t have to communicate with their customers (or residents), they can do as they please without letting us know what is going on. I was taken back by this comment. In reflection, I really believe that ‘Good companies do have good communications with their customers, clients or residents.’ I would be very interested in reading your book ‘Treat Your Customers.’
But in the meantime, this is a very timely article for me – to embrace the chaos and clarify what is important. I have learned to let things go, and to be grateful for what I do have. Thanks for this article and its wise words.
I am 60 years of age and can wholeheartedly affirm what Mr. Miglani writes has been my personal experience of life. So, if you are younger and struggling mightily, read this article daily and stay your course!
I am also 60 years old. And I think that 60 is the beginning of becoming wise. At least for me. 🙂
I am also 60 and I agree with you Jill ????
Ladies, I’m 61 and so grateful for this time in life. As empty nesters (and almost retired-next spring!) life beckons with such welcome from every corner. I must say that serenity is much preferred over chaos, but with my spiritual connection, meditation and courage, chaos can be less overwhelming to me than as a 20 something.
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