How Giving Is Really Receiving

Yes I gave, but I continue to receive in abundance and my cup runneth over.

In 2009 my husband’s uncle was in the hospital, in need of a kidney. I knew nothing about what needing a kidney does to a person, until it appeared that he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital. By the time I got my act together and got pushy about wanting to be tested, it was too late for him to have surgery. He passed away.

How crazy! And when I did the research it turns out that many people die waiting for a kidney. I understood something then. My kidney was a match for someone out there. Someone would live if they had it, and die if they did not. Done deal.

After much testing, psychologically as well as physically, I was cleared to donate and asked the million dollar question: would I donate to a person from the regular waiting list or would I like to start a kidney chain? The chain can take longer to make happen, but it seemed like a no brainer. Either way, I was donating, why not get more than one person a kidney? In a chain, my kidney would go to someone who was in need and had a willing donor who wasn’t a match for them. That willing donor agreed to donate to someone else on the list if their loved one received a kidney. The person they donate to may also have a willing loved one who was incompatible…therefore a chain is created. When no more matches are made, the final recipient is from the regular list, ending the chain.

The awe and love I feel for the other donors is bigger than the world, and the honor and respect I feel for the recipients who have gone through so much with their health takes up all of my heart and soul.

July 13th, 2010 I had surgery. I knew my kidney was going to a man in North Dakota, Shannon Peterson. When I met him later I learned that he had only months to live. He “met” my/his new kidney during his last dialysis. How cool is that? He came out of surgery super sore, but already better than going in. 5 total people got kidneys from our chain.

Nicolle Hayes (right) donated a kidney to Shannon Peterson and triggered a unique series of operations that resulted in a total of five people getting transplants.

My recipient lived 6 years. He met his grandson and became best buds with him. He got well enough to travel by plane again, eat good food at the holidays, and stop dialysis. His heart was beat up by all his illnesses before the donation though. His children, who I’d never met, blessed me by allowing me to come to the hospital to say goodbye to my funny darling friend.

I am eternally grateful for the health I’m blessed with that allowed me to donate in the first place, and by my continued health. I started a kidney chain, but the awe and love I feel for the other donors is bigger than the world, and the honor and respect I feel for the recipients who have gone through so much with their health takes up all of my heart and soul. The love I feel for my recipient glows brightly even with him on the other side now.

Yes I gave, but I continue to receive in abundance and my cup runneth over.

Nicki Hayes, mother of 4, chronic head shaving fund-raiser, driven to do as much as possible during this Earth time so I can have one kick ass Life Review afterwards. John Wesley speaks to my heart: Do All The Good You Can, By All The Means You Can, In All The Ways You Can, In All The Places You Can, At All The Times You Can, To All The People You Can, As Long As Ever You Can.

If you are inspired by this story and would like to explore kidney donation, visit
The National Kidney Foundation.

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