I think being willing to fully experience emotions, both “positive” and “negative,” would help with this. Since I went through a particularly tough time a few years ago, I learned to repress emotions, but I am learning to undo that by having the courage to feel. Also, I could take delight in the small pleasures of life, remembering to enjoy the car ride, love the run, and smell the flowers. I could also view my growth in knowledge as a process of enlightenment and initiation that is exciting and an opportunity to have an unusual experience, especially since I have prayed for wisdom and trust in God to provide an adventurous experience of growth and initiation into secret mysteries long hidden.

I am good at writing, philosophy, religion/spirituality, science, psychology, singing, acting, and manifestation. I can write about topics in my interest areas that are relevant for today’s world; write about my philosophy to share my values with others and challenge them to agree or disagree and share their views; use the tools that world religions and spiritualities provide to live a more ethical, wise life; help or tutor students struggling in science classes; implement psychology into my own philosophy of how we ought to treat and interact with others; sing in choirs to promote harmony in the group and lift up others’ spirits with music even after college; perform theatre as a form of spirituality to help myself empathize with people who I find hard to understand; and use my manifesting abilities to help others in need, perhaps even becoming so good at it that I can eventually do the kinds of things Jesus did with His manifestation abilities.

My real spiritual journey started when I found the scary passages in Matthew 12, Mark 3, Luke 12, Acts 5, Acts 8, Hebrews 6, Hebrews 10, and 1 John 5 about unpardonable sins. At this point in my life, I felt that I was evil and, at some point, had to have committed at least one of these. I feared that God would condemn me to hell, and there was nothing I could do about it. I asked my pastor about these passages, and he gave me very inadequate, somewhat “wild” interpretations of these passages. From this point, I began to realize that just because the church or an authority figure interprets something a certain way, that does not mean it is correct. At this point, I began questioning many of the church’s interpretations of the Bible, still fearing for my salvation and that of others, while simultaneously coming to understand deeper and deeper insights about the Bible (though I even questioned the canonicity of certain books within it as well). As my journey continued, I came to the conclusion that the Bible is not infallible but is shaped by its context and the ideas of humans, though it is also a sacred and valid path to God. As I continued questioning, I wondered whether religion was valid or whether God existed at all. As I continued investigating, I questioned the validity of my quest for knowledge. Is knowledge really even worth seeking, or am I wasting my time, when I could be doing something more beneficial with my life? Seeking answers to this question, I went on a quest for ethical wisdom and moral values. Struggling with what my dharma was, the time came for me to go to college. As I learned about various religions and spiritual teachings, I learned about many practices that can help an individual discern the dharma and ethical values. From here, I began practicing some of these, though some of them did not seem to lead me anywhere far, while others did. I am now investigating the ones that have not led me very far to see if there is a way to practice them more authentically and so gain spiritual insight from them. This is my journey in a nutshell.

We ought to let go of focusing merely on what we think we want (which is often not really what we want) and, instead, ask what the Universe is trying to accomplish through us and fulfill that dharma. This is accomplished through a sense of surrender and submission to God’s will, as well as a deep trust from the bones that everything is happening in accordance with Spirit’s will. Furthermore, some spiritual practices from various religions and spiritual traditions can help us discern the will of the Universe and align us with that will (for beautiful examples of such practices, cf. Mari Heidt’s textbook, Moral Traditions: An Introduction to World Religious Ethics). An example of this is prayer to God for wisdom. Ask or affirm Spirit to provide wisdom and insight into how to live life and seek to either know your dharma or know that your dharma must remain a secret for you to fulfill it properly. Furthermore, seek general ethical/moral wisdom, asking Source to guide you into wise thinking and living, along with spiritual insights you can share with others. For me, this has been one of the most helpful practices.

On a theological level, I define grace as the unearned, free gifts of the Universe that are ours for the taking if we only open ourselves to them. The reign of heaven is like a vast library of thousands of books. A certain person didn’t know that the library existed in his hometown, but when the person discovered it, that person checked out every book that person wanted. Before discovering the library, she thought finding the books would be impossible, but now that it was known, her inner knowing that the library was there made it easier. Whoever has ears, let that one hear!

My pastor at the church I attended as a child impacted me by teaching me that just because an authority figure has a point of view, that does not make it true. I sometimes wonder if the conflict we had was some kind of pre-life contract. My AP Literature and C0mposition teacher in high school, by opening me to the ideas of Sartrean existentialism while simultaneously giving me the tools to question some of its ideas, led me to seek out what is mine to do on an ethical level, rather than merely an existential level. Jesus of Nazareth taught me to befriend everyone, even and especially social outcasts and people who are not always kind to others, since they are often the people who need the most love. My religious studies professor allowed me to finally understand the Bible on an academic level and to become literate in religious research resources. The supportive and welcoming community at the UCC church I attend have supported me in growing in spiritual wisdom and ethics and have also inspired me to attend Doane University, a college affiliated with the United Church of Christ. The various writers who have contributed to nderf.org have allowed me to have deeper spiritual insights into the nature of reality through their sharing of near-death experiences. The wonderful people here on demo.gratefulness.org, as well as its founder, have supported me in becoming a thankful person and in appreciating even the hard times. The site has also allowed me to examine its partners and see the wonderful work they do. One of my communications professors has had a profound impact on me by teaching me about dialectical tensions and allowing me to see that the struggles I have had in the past are not as unusual as I once thought. I also appreciate all the people who have supported me on my life journey at Doane University, including professors, staff, faculty, and friends who have helped me make wonderful friendships and learn more than I ever thought was possible. I am especially grateful to Source, who has led me to grow in wisdom and find that reality is much more exciting than I could have ever thought. Source has, furthermore, provided me with everything listed above, and I feel prosperous from all His/Her/Its blessings. There are many more people (and animals too) that I could continue to list, but if I wrote them all, there would not be enough memory for the computer to store it. I am grateful to all those who I have not mentioned who have made an impact on my life.

I always enjoy the pleasant surprise of finding out when things are not as I think they are. For example, the Gospel of John is basically a Jewish mystical texts that has its roots in Greco-Roman mystery schools, as I learned in the Introduction to New Testament class, and Jesus’ teachings in John’s gospel are a path to an ongoing, continual process of enlightenment, similar to the ongoing flashes of insight in Zen Buddhism. Another example was learning that UFO abductions are a common experience, and the people who experience them are likely not crazy, nor are they naïve believers in hallucinations but, based on the shared similarity of experiences, may be accessing a higher realm of consciousness. Any surprising knowledge that opens me up to greater mystery is a joyful surprise.