What does it mean to already be standing on holy ground or having new eyes?

This is an excerpt from a longer post about the path I’ve been traveling this past year…..

My self-imposed exile from the relentless routines of a corporate life has allowed me to see the world anew again. I’m aware now as the every-day tiredness has started to retreat, that in its place is not only a renewal of energy, but a fresh sense of newness as I rediscover my daily life.

I now work for myself, less relentlessly and more thoughtfully, allowing time to move into each new day with a sense of calm, quiet, some reflective moments versus the forced march and the rush of years’ past.

People have asked me how I’m enjoying retirement which is both concerning and humorous, as it must appear I’ve jumped off the familiar path or the cliff entirely, which must mean I’ve removed myself from all meaningful work. In fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth, my work has slowed down certainly, but it has started to take on new life with genuine periods of high energy and creativity.

Slowing down has not only brought new life to my work, but it’s brought new eyes for my surroundings and my experience in the world. I now notice the sounds of the birds singing in the trees all day long if I’m working from home, the patter of a Spring rain falling with its calming beat on the roof, rabbits munching on new grass in our neighbor’s yards, and the smell of the morning breeze mixed with flowers blooming on a long walk.

I have fresh eyes at the start of my days and this has extended into the entire day as I’m now traveling at my own pace. I see the world around me and every day things as fresh, interesting, beautiful, and I feel deep gratitude for the ability to experience it all more fully.

Beyond the world outside and my natural surroundings, my health has improved. I’m back to daily exercise that builds resilience, and inside myself I notice my feelings, moods and thoughts that need tending. This isn’t about brooding, rather it’s about tuning into my feelings every day with a deeper appreciation for the dimensions of my experience. Not every day is about joy, excitement and love for this new path I’m on. Some days are about anxiety, fear or sadness for the loss of the familiar road.

Instead of moving through life on automatic pilot, I’m on the road at a new pace, with fresh eyes, fully inhabiting my body and experiencing every bump and every hill along the way. I’ve discovered new ground right here where I am and with this revelation has come grace, compassion and gratefulness to be able to know the world again.

As a pilgrim, what am I discovering about myself, my life, my identity? My identities as daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, runner, writer, coach and leader are transient and of my own making. The less I hold onto the meaning of my names that define me and my life, the more free I feel and the more able I am to explore new identities as a pilgrim. That being a pilgrim is not only about offering help to others, but asking for help when I need it or accepting it when others offer. While I’m familiar with solitude, companionship is vital as a pilgrim to learn, grow, wonder, explore, experience, appreciate and heal. Being a pilgrim is the true path of heart into the unknown with wholeheartedness.