Because I am right now perched on the cusp of what seems like a deep chasm of transition in the past 12 months: loss of work that I had initiated, created, nurtured, grown, invited others into; the sudden illness and death of my mother; and having to/choosing to sell our home as I wasn’t able to the loss of replace the loss of income. With the loss of my work also came the loss of many many dear and valued colleagues. So I am perched, like a bird on the top of a swaying tree, watching the weather and smelling the breeze for the edge of transformation. The reminder to pay attention to the details of my journey, to the moment by moment choices and engagements, is helpful.

the loss leads to fullness
to the depths of “this” which is arising
from “not this” any longer

I am pilgramming in a year of harrowing occurrences,
walking in the now fields of what is left of my life after my
work, my home, my mother are all gone, taken or in process of leave taking. Finding my way forward into life, resisting the deep urge to move away from that which is painful, and living into the tension filled truth that I did not get the aid of others, nourishment was denied from one area of my life, while resplendent and abundant in other areas. As I live in the totality of my life, I am a pilgrim with a bundle that holds joy and pain in seemingly equal measure.