Well….I just wrote a long sentimental post, shared from my heart with tears, and it disappeared into cyberspace never to be seen again…..but the thought occurs to me that maybe I just needed to write it for me?

Suffice to say that I am filled with gratitude for a most lovely gathering yesterday of childhood friends and neighbors.
Today, still basking in the glow of unconditional love from lifelong friends, I am grateful for this quiet and restful Sabbath day.
Fire in the wood burning stove crackling, the sound of steady rain, and a glass of red wine as I type this, are all bringing me the most delightful drowsiness.

~Sunday evening blessings to you all

Good morning lovely people:
As so often happens, yesterday’s Word of the Day was just what I needed to stop grumbling and reclaim my hygge intentions this winter!
“If we belong to the sun and its warmth, to the bud and the sprout, to the miraculous flower, we also belong to the wind, the naked branch, the cold.”

The bitter cold continues here in the Northeast and my whole being is crying out for “the sun and its warmth”to arrive. Yesterday in particular was difficult because of the low temps combined with blustery winds that just went right through me…and I had a major case of the grumpies! I’m grateful for this reminder (more like a “smack upside my head”!) that reminded me to keep on practicing hygge as I promised myself, and the Universe, that I would.

This quote reminded me also of St. Francis’ Canticle of Creation that I often recite in the mornings as part of my meditation time:

“Be praised, my Lord, for our Brothers Wind and Air and every kind of weather by which you uphold life in all your creatures”.

I’ve always felt a special kinship to St. Francis….I have a lovely statue of him in my garden right outside my sunroom and have a ritual of greeting him in the morning and saying goodnight in the evening right before going to bed. I am grateful for his presence in my life. And as long as I’m channeling St. Francis I will add that it is hard to live out the prayer “Lord make me an instrument of your peace” if I’m not being peace-full about what Mother Nature is offering right now!
Just wanted to share these little nudges that I’ve been getting as a gift to anyone else who may be struggling with the cold as I am. Hygge heroes unite! 🙂

~Warm hygge hugs to you all on this delightfully 🙂 cold February morning.

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”
THICH NHAT HANH

Good morning lovely people:

Today’s Word of the Day was a gift to me. Yesterday when I was sharing with my older daughter about my fear and anxiety I mentioned the poem by Rumi called “The Guest House”. I was reminded of the freedom and healing that comes from welcoming whatever emotions may have decided to visit. Such a powerful image….of us being a welcoming host to our visitors, no matter.
A practice of mine has been to say out loud “welcome fear, I see you have decided to visit me today. I honor you and accept you into my guest house”.
Lately, and I have not practiced my little ritual. I’ve let the anxiety and fear paralyze me. Hmm…. maybe paralyze is not the right word. Perhaps a better word is avoidance….I just wanted it to go away!
I forgot to smile at my fear. I’m grateful for these beautiful words by Thich Nhat Hanh.

This morning I am grateful to have absolutely nothing that HAS to be done and for the awareness that I have been inventing things to do in a vain attempt to distract myself. I am grateful to have the opportunity today to sit quietly and be a guest house…and to smile at “whoever” has decided to visit me today! 🙂

So many detours and potholes on this journey. I am grateful for the guides, appearing in many forms, that lovingly nudge me when I most need it…especially each of you here in this sacred community.

I am reminded of Psalm 23: “Your rod and your staff they comfort me”. We are all of us like sheep, aren’t we? We need a Shepherd to gently steer us back to our life-path when we wander off! 🙂

~Sending warm hugs to you all

How lovely to catch up with all of you this morning. I am grateful for each of you…your generosity of spirit in sharing so much of yourselves with us here. This is truly a sacred space.

I am grateful to see that I have been missed! It makes my heart smile real big and also makes me feel a little bit guilty for taking so long to stop by and visit. Life has been happening like a big giant wave that has swept over me. Please know that I have been thinking of you all with gratitude in my heart each and every day.

This morning I am simply grateful for the miracle of a new day of life. Lately, my little daily prayer has not flowed as smoothly as it usually does but I offer it up anyway:

“Gracias Papito Dios por el milagro de un otra dia de la vida”. Thank you dearest Abba Father for the miracle of another day of life.

I started saying this little prayer each morning when my youngest daughter was living in Spain…as a way of feeling connected to her.
Now she is living in New York City and you would think that I would be less anxious and fearful…after all she is at least in this country! And only about 90 minutes away! But alas, it is not to be…in fact my fear and trepidation have been overwhelming (the imagery of a tidal wave is the best way I can describe it) and debilitating.

My daughter is struggling with her new environment and the demands of graduate school and is questioning her decision…so it is up to me to be her encouragement, her cheerleader, and her strong and steady foundation. Her rock. And, with grace, I have been able to do that for her….all the while feeling like all I want to do is drag her back to our little farmhouse. She told me recently in one of our conversations that I was the strongest person she knew….I was in awe of her perception of me because I see myself as someone who falls apart on a regular basis! And so, I am grateful that I am able to be who she needs me to be right now. I am limping along, trying to honor all of the emotions that have been visiting me these days…all the while wishing they would go away and I could have some semblance of a “normal” brain, whatever that is!

My lovely friends….thank you for being here and for being my wounded healers.
I am grateful to see Brother Sun shining so brightly this morning.
I am grateful for the acupuncture appointment that I have today and that my fibromyalgia pain seems to be abating somewhat.
So very grateful for the “head knowledge” that my daughters are both surrounded by angels….I am hoping that this truth will make it’s way into my heart and spirit.

~Sending you all a warm hug 🙂

“Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you”

Blessings to you as well dear Pilgrim.

Sharing from our hearts is such a grace and I am always grateful to be able to do so with my dear friends here in this safe and sacred space. I’ve decided to be grateful anyway because although the words may have disappeared from view, there was joy for me in the writing and remembrance.
It is a cold and blustery 29 degrees here today but the sun is shining strong and bright and for that I am grateful. 🙂

~Have a warm and cozy hygge day my friend.

Nancy…..thank you for sharing your delightful day with us! Your description of your gathering made me smile….it brought back a wonderful memory for me! My youngest daughter plays the mandolin and as an undergraduate her small liberal arts college in Kentucky (appropriately) she had a great adventure her senior year during spring break. She and 3 other students, along with 2 of her professors formed a bluegrass band and toured throughout the northeast U.S. playing at coffee houses and other venues. One of their performances took place in the home of friends of the professors and the video I saw of that gathering was exactly as you described……others joining in with their instruments and voices and “hootenanny” dancing in the living room! It was a scene of just pure unadulterated joy to me! I’m so glad for you that you had the opportunity to experience that 🙂

I too am an introvert, who gets exhausted by social interactions and gatherings so I understand the challenge you faced in going. And I admire so much your sensibilities of venturing out with curiosity and an open heart with no specific expectations…..such an inspiration to me! Thank you for that my friend.

~Blessings for a day filled with joyous surprises

Dear Ursula….so happy to hear that, although tired, you had the strength to attend such a beautiful event. I got tears in my eyes as I read about it. Lately, the breadth of injustice and hatred has been weighing heavy on my spirit. We need “an ocean of light” for this hurting world. It’s sad that this event turned political but I am inspired by the vision of thousands of people holding lights…yes a powerful sign! How wonderful to be a part of that.
“In the midst of darkness, light persists.” (Gandhi)

Thank you for being a light in the darkness my friend

Good morning Manda
I am so sorry to hear that you have caught this terrible flu that seems to be afflicting so many this winter. And I am so not surprised that you have looked upon it with gratefulness! This is your strength my friend, and such an inspiration to me. How are you feeling so far today? It’s still early morning in Arizona…I hope that you are feeling the warm sun on your face again this day Manda!
Sending you healing wishes…and a warm, long distance virtual hug!

Dear Ose…..it is something of a miracle that you are here with us. I remember when I first stumbled across this sacred community…it was a healing balm for my wounded heart and spirit. Miraculous.

Please be assured that we, each one of us, is walking with you on your journey towards wholeness….and it truly is a journey! I am learning that sometimes there are detours and potholes on the journey, but this community of loving and compassionate souls helps me to stay on the path. It is a gratefulness path. And such a beautiful way to travel.

~Sending blessings and a warm hug to you my friend.

Dear friend: I have to start out by apologizing for not posting sooner. I read this yesterday and had such a visceral response that I couldn’t possibly find the words. Like you….I think the dust had to settle first in order for me to have the presence of mind to reply. But, it has been on my heart to share with you and I will try this morning.

We moved just 2 years ago from the home in which we lived for 33 years and raised both our daughters in. It was “the house that Mark built” because my husband put so much of his blood, sweat and tears into fixing, remodeling, etc. It was a 1 bedroom shack fixer-upper…….it was all we could afford at the time. It was so small that our bedroom furniture from our newlywed apartment didn’t fit in the tiny bedroom. The woman who had lived there was a chain smoker….all of the walls had nicotine stains running down them. She was 90+ years old and moving into a nursing home so the house was totally neglected. We tackled this project with the enthusiasm of youth (and before I got sick). It had to be completely gutted and re-wired. The refrigerator was on the back porch because there was no room for it in the kitchen. When our daughter was born….we slept in the living room for 3 years while putting on an addition.
We had a hurricane during this addition and just a tarp for a roof. I remember my husband climbing up there to make sure it stayed put…..terrifying. When we found out we were expecting (miraculously) a 2nd child 11 years later, we put on another addition (by this time I was very sick and we hired a family friend to do the work).

Needless to say, we had fully invested ourselves in this home (not to mention our neighborhood and community) and although I was excited to move out to the country, the memories and emotions were overwhelming.

And now, we add to that the stress and anxiety of selling our home, while at the same time, looking for a new one. I won’t go into all the gory (and they were extremely gory at times) details….suffice to say this was the most stressful thing I had ever gone through in my adult life. And that is saying something, considering I was living with chronic illness (the road to that diagnosis being it’s own nightmare), and had 2 high-risk pregnancies…the 2nd one at age 40, I spent 2 entire months in the hospital trying to keep this baby alive.
Wow….I am reliving this as I type and my hands are sweating and I have a pit in my stomach. But you have helped me in countless ways my friend and I hope that my sharing this will help you in some small way to not feel alone in this challenge. Trying to move when living with chronic illness is a “climbing Mt. Everest” experience that can be incredibly overwhelming. We also moved with 2 cats and a dog and had to find places for them to go during open houses. I remember people coming to look at the house and having to take the dog outside for a walk, regardless of how I felt physically at the time. Open houses were a nightmare….after all, we were living our lives, 2 full time jobs, 3 pets., etc. ……..of course we had to clean, scrub and stage each time for them. We had accumulated so much “stuff” over the 33 years..the sorting and cleaning out itself was a full time job. I lost track of how many times the goodwill van came to pick up our stuff. We threw out so much that I thought the sanitation guys would stop taking it…so we asked our neighbors if we could put some in their can on pick-up day! Haha.. We had a huge yard sale where we practically gave everything away for free!

Anyway…you get the idea. I am sharing all of this with you my friend in hopes that the end of this story will be of comfort and encouragement. We are so incredibly happy in our new home and environment and, without going into details (this is already too long!) I will state unequivocally that this house was waiting for us…and totally where we were meant to be. Please know that you will have this ending as well my friend. Your next home is waiting for you and you will fill it with your love and build some wonderful new memories. I will always treasure the 33 years we spent in our first home but am grateful every day that God led us here…and He will lovingly lead you to where you are meant to be and will be with you every step of the way. I believe this with all my heart.
Aine…..you ARE moving on to better things! A new chapter, a new adventure in your life story is unfolding. I pray you will rest knowing that you are being lovingly carried and will arrive at your destination at just the right time.
I am lighting a prayer candle for you this day and sending you love and light and peace dear friend.

~Blessings

Dearest Anna….I am so happy to read that you are practicing self-care and feeling the results. You have some very wise insights and awareness that I’m sure are healing you as well. Thank you for inspiring me to do the same.

And how wonderful that you are continuing to sing! Anna….do you know this saying by St. Augustine? “He who sings, prays twice”. I imagine the angels smiling when you sing Anna.

~Blessings…….e un abbraccio mi amica

Good morning grateful sea…..thank you for your blessings.

Today I do indeed have a more peaceful mind and easeful body. It’s always a miracle to me how healing occurs.. Yesterday I asked my acupuncturist to focus her treatment on my “out of control” anxiety. I think that the combination of her treatment, along with the healing that comes from sharing in this sacred space (and the appearance of Brother Sun!) all worked together to bring me to a little bubble of relief.

I haven’t seen any bluebirds lately, but I so love to watch the woodpeckers and mourning doves at our feeders these days 🙂

~Angel hugs to you today my friend

Dear Palm….thank you so much for your kind and wise words. Yes…letting go! And trying to hard for things to work out! Such a challenge for us moms. But calling on the angels definitely does help.

It’s so amazing (but not surprising…this kind of thing often happens here in this sacred space) that you should share your night prayer with me.
When my daughter was living in Spain last year, each night before I went to sleep, I would text her “Dulces suenos mi hija”. (Sweet dreams my daughter) I still do it now, even though she’s back in the U.S.

My friend…you have helped me tremendously by sharing about your own challenges and offering me your encouragement so generously.

~Wishing you a day filled with angel-blessings

Dear Nancy….thank you so much for your kind words and wishes my friend. I am continuing to practice self-care…..for my body, mind and spirit. My older daughter offered me some wisdom yesterday. She suggested that my heightened level of fear and anxiety lately is linked to the effects on my brain of living with chronic pain….which lately has been exacerbated, probably from the cold weather. I have always tried to approach my chronic illness holistically…I’m a great believer in the mind-body connection. I guess I just forgot to remember that! 🙂

But….I also am very aware that I live with the truth that you shared. My older daughter is 34 and my younger is 23 (proving that God has a sense of humor!) and I will never stop wanting to protect them, as you said. And Palm’s message about letting go….it seems I’ve had to do that over and over through the years. And most likely will have to continue to do so for years to come.

So now my dear Tree-Sister…I am off to do some gentle Qigong stretching, followed by a date with my heating pad! I imagine that my muscles are going to smile and thank me for being so kind to them.

~Blessings

Dear Aine:
As per usual, your words so resonate with me. I was nodding in recognition when I read:

“….. I have come to see that somewhere along the way I learned to expect loss even when there is no good reason to do so. Fear of loss, pain, of loneliness is a potent miasma that can obscure our vision.”

How did you manage to look inside my brain Aine! See…this is what I mean by us being wounded healers. Only another person who grew up in a dysfunctional environment could understand this thought process. The truth is there…..I do “expect loss” because every time growing up when things seemed to be fairly OK and I relaxed….boom! There goes the rug being pulled out from under me.

Thank you for sharing….it was a gift to me. It helps so much to know that we are not alone in our struggles and challenges.

BTW…..I am a lover of rituals and I am enamored with the idea of rubbing the complements into my heart so they sink in and don’t bounce off! How fun! It reminds me of a ritual that I have to rub aromatherapy oils into my neck and shoulders while speaking to my fibromyalgia pain. I tell my muscles that I am sorry they are hurting so much and I thank them for all that they do for me. Right before my total hysterectomy, I rubbed the oils into my abdomen area and thanked all of my reproductive organs for how they had served me in bringing my daughters into this world.

So lovely to be here with you Aine….thank you for welcoming me back so generously.

~Blessings and bunches of love 🙂

Good morning dear Manda. I love your gratitude towards your shoulders! it was so good for me to read that because most of my fibromyalgia pain has been in my shoulders lately! It reminds me that I can still be grateful for them….and for all the therapies that are available to me….wonderful gifts. I am seeing my acupuncturist this afternoon and having another deep tissue massage session on Friday. It is all grace my friend!

~Much love to you and healing for your bum knee 🙂