At 58, I get embarrassed about less and less. I care less what other people think of me. If I don’t want to do something “I don’t want to do it” is a good enough reason. I am less vain (I think!) and more grateful. I ‘ve said this before, but it bears saying again. I can honestly say I am happier now than when I was 25. I never realized when I was younger that aging could indeed be a joyful process. (But I am the first to say that I am extremely fortunate in being in excellent health.)

This is a tough question for me because 4 years ago, I had to leave my life partner because of his heavy drinking. I never stopped loving him, and I did not listen to those to said I had to cut him out of my life. I listened to my heart.

He has since stopped drinking vodka and he is now is assisted living (and I am proud I helped get him there). But years of heavy smoking and drinking have taken a hard toll on his body and mind.

No one will ever know me as he does, and I know he still loves me, but it is not and never will be what it once was. I don’t think “Ben” fully understands why I had to leave. I wonder if he even remembers what I call his dark years.

I am alone a lot and I am grateful that I have pretty deep inner resources. I am grateful for prayer, for books, for my cat…..and for my dvd player!