When I was a child, I used to gallop my horse across the tall grasses of our farm in Pennsylvania; my long hair flew fast in the wind as I gripped her bare belly with my legs, my bare feet softly kissed by this grass. These memories are some of my deepest and most joyful memories.

And now, I am stepping back into that joy, and as I do I am needing to let go of the shoes that brought me here in order to make space for this joy and this new journey I am undertaking. I need to let go of the corporate identity that I’ve spent so many years lovingly and meticulously constructing, so that I can embrace the dream that is now asking me to participate. I’ve loved this identity, and it has brought me to this amazing place; but in order to fully inhabit this environment and lifestyle, I need to let it go and have room to grow in another way. In a very literal sense I’m again finding myself spending my days galloping my horses bareback with bare feet, and I am experiencing a joy that is so present in each breath of each day. All of this is so surprising, the realizations, the opportunities, the letting go. I am so curious about what will come in once I have made the space with this letting go.

In the midst of transition there is an underlying chaos and unsettling, so that little feels certain and secure, things are rising and falling and various parts of ourselves are called upon to evolve. That moment of transformation is quiet, all doubt and uncertainty has left the room. It is like the moment the hillside hiding reveals the way we should take, and we are bold enough to step into ourselves- into the form of ourselves that is ready to move forward- the form of ourselves with endless courage to proceed. We move from the transformative state and back into transition though, continuously, losing site of the hillside and the way again, but that is simply the process of the journey, this exchange and dance between transition and transformation.

The subtle shift in perspective, the soft way the light filters in when we hear something that changes our way of being in the world, it is powerful how quickly and simply it happens. As I listened to David’s words aloud, and read the words exchanged between he and Brother David as they journeyed together toward the essence that drives internal exhaustion…I felt a subtle falling away of certain perspectives in my mind about the “roles” I have to play and the tasks I have to get through each day that may not bring my joy. And instead I felt the overwhelming presence of what it is to take a wholehearted approach.
Since listening, I’ve been realizing that the areas of my life where I am not living wholeheartedly do not need to remain that way. Instead, there is opportunity to both let go of some things while leaning more deeply into others. Some are great big huge, others are small and seemingly insignificant- but they all take up the space of my day and my mind and my spirit. I am realizing I can wholeheartedly approach every single action that I take and thought that I have. There is an abundance within me for this, there is this endless energy that comes when I realize that I am devoting my full attention to the task at hand. I’ve been experimenting- and suddenly I see opportunity to live wholeheartedly in every moment- when I respond to the emails in my inbox, when I wish a friend happy birthday, when I open my eyes in the morning and see my husband by my side, when I feed my dogs and horses, when I’m writing and creating, whenever I engage with any other person in any way- all these little moments can be filled with my whole heart, and when they are there is no space for distraction, there is no space for negativity or destruction, no space for tearing down or whining. There is endless space for love, for compassion, for attentive focus and care, for curiosity and gratitude. I think this might be a little bit of what this wholeheartedness business is about…but we’ve only just begun, so let’s see how it unfolds