In about two weeks, on May 30, after coping with significant back pain that has forced me to alter almost everything I do, I will have surgery on my back. The recovery process, I am told, will take quite some time. But I am ready, even looking forward to it in order to turn a new chapter once I heal.

When one lives with and in pain with no lasting or real relief in sight, you cope and go about doing what you can in the best way possible. A week ago new tests revealed that I not only needed surgery, I needed it soon. These last few days while pushing myself to do certain things I began to realize, to let it sink into head, just how hard and painful things have gotten for me these last few months. It’s as if I am being released, with time, to experience being in a different place with hopefully some new possibilities.
– Kevin

The sky looking eastward has tinges of red and yellow as the night gives way to dawn. And there are birds aplenty, a chorus really, flitting from branch to branch outside my window waiting for the light that always comes, wrapped in waves of chilly springtime air. I am sitting, breathing, sipping strong tea and in the time it took to write three sentences the light has rushed to showcase one tall distant pine tree that soon will fade among the many. But at 5:09 AM I saw it and I am glad that it and I are here to witness the coming of a brand new day.
– Kevin

My, my, such a heady question today! But I like it. My answer? Yes and no; maybe; and it depends.

Yes and no because it depends on one’s depth of belief and willingness to truly become “released” to live fully into a spiritual life, and surrender oneself into the flow of wherever it may take you. The risks may still be there, but are blunted as grace attends to smooth the way.

“Maybe” and “it depends,” because living a deeply spiritual life frequently fortifies one to witness, to stand clear, firm and unwavering, to answer a “call,” regardless of risks that surely do come. Such challenges, perceived as risks by those looking on, struggle, not knowing how “call” and “grace” combined, levels one’s journey into living a truly deeply spiritual life.
– Kevin

As I consider this question, it’s difficult to know what specific opportunities and insights might arise without knowing what kind of crisis we’re dealing with. That said, for many years the nature of my work in both secular and non-secular settings included responding to crisis situations. In fact, I frequently said, as hard as that work was, that some of my very best work was in crisis response. Being “still,” or as I prefer to call it, “centered,” with my own breath and inner prayer, were crucial components to practice at the start, middle and near ends of responding to a crisis situation.
– Kevin

Aine, your reference to Saint Paul reminded me of a personal prayer that a friend of mine once wrote, who is also one of the kindest and spiritually grounded persons I know. His little prayer runs along the same lines as today’s question:
“Dear God,
so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, or self-centered.
I’m really happy about that so far, Lord,
But, in a few minutes…I’m going to be getting out of bed….and then I’m going to need a lot of help.
Thank you, Lord.”
(By Ray Smith)

Dear KC, thanks very much for your prayers and thoughts here. It’s been an 8 year-long slog for sure. I’m living in New England, southeastern Mass specifically, and medical marijuana is getting big in these part too. For years I’ve known a number of people who use it for pain and even before it was legal to do so, were growing their own. I have glaucoma in addition to chronic back pain, and have known for some time that I could get a script for medical pot anytime I wanted. But up until 18 months ago before I retired, I worked for decades with teens and young adults who had serious drug issues and I just couldn’t square myself using pot privately while working with people who struggled with addictions. So I just never went down that path. If other options had failed me though, for sure I would have given medical pot a go. I, unlike so many others who suffer greater than me, have good insurance and the means to explore my options with traditional medical care. Thanks again for your kind words and prayers.