I had a tense interaction with my partner yesterday. He was being critical of something I said, and though I agree with him now, it maddened me that he was not only right but also calling me out on it. So I made some snappy/angry comments and retreated to my office where I unleashed my fury in my journal. I felt better, and I was able to be more open to not being mad at him anymore afterwards. (Neither of us apologized but we were able to laugh about the incident together immediately after I was done with my angry journaling.)

But now I’m reflecting on this question and am struck by the seemingly utter incongruity of practicing kindness in a situation like that. I felt disrespected and hurt by what my partner said. I felt so entitled to be angry (and I said some pretty harsh things about him in my journal). It would have *never* occurred to me to try to be kind (let alone more kind!) in that situation. Nobody wants to be a doormat, and that’s not what being kind means, but just what does it mean to be kind when we feel attacked? Is it starting with kindness to oneself, maybe? And then turning outward? I will keep reflecting on this today.