Ooh, that’s a toughie. I agree with Kevin that there are appropriate times for reasonable expectation, as in his example. The interpersonal side of things is far trickier, largely because the outcome often matters more to our hearts than dealing with a tradesman. There’s more riding on our relationship interactions, which automatically puts more pressure on all involved.

I guess I’d say to let people surprise you. When my husband and I were first dating, I always felt sure of what he’d say in a given situation, but I was basing that on past experiences with people who were not him. As I observed him, I realized he was very different, surprising even, and in a wonderful way. Once I settled in and watched rather than expecting, I got to know an incredibly special soul.

There have been times when I’ve gotten in my own way on this, but I can definitely say he is still surprising me after all these years. Twenty nine together, and twenty seven of them married, as of the end of December.

I am currently healing from Lyme Disease that went undiagnosed/misdiagnosed for twenty five years or so. It has been a long road, and I am making progress! There are many voices that declare with authority that you can never heal from this disease, that the best you can hope for is remission, if you are lucky, or “management of symptoms,” if you are not.

But then…there are the other voices, not as many, who are quite positive that you CAN heal from this disease, not just manage it or hope for the best, but truly HEAL. I found another of these blessed voices the other day.

So, my call to be fearless is to listen to the encouraging voices rather than the pessimistic ones, refusing to give in to the fear, since doubt in the ability to heal certainly won’t get me farther towards my goal of healing.

It takes me out of myself and allows me to walk beside someone for a time. That can give us better perspective as well as a sense of gratitude for connection, community, and love.

We forget sometimes that being allowed to do that for someone is an honor, a privilege, and a gift as well as a skill that can be learned and practiced. Thus we can be grateful for being offered a chance to help ease another’s burden while connecting to our own humanity and community. And that is a beautiful thing!

A good friend recently mentioned that I needed to start infusing our home with more Joy. When I considered this, I saw she was right, that although this place is very beautiful, it has indeed lacked the energy of Joy. We are slowly emerging from a very difficult decade, and Struggle has been far more constant a visitor than Joy.

Thus, my creativity at the moment is being expressed in finding ways to decorate in Joy. I have found items at Habitat ReStore, and shopgoodwill.com, which makes me more joyful through reusing. And I found some adorable pieces on Etsy to support someone else’s creativity, too!

I think it makes perfect sense the way you speak it, Pilgrim. You were in a very demanding arena, emotionally and physically, and a time of decompression seems a natural part of healing and transition.

Although I sometimes fight it by hurling expectations at myself, one of the gifts of grappling with physical limitations is that it makes us take things more moment by moment. There is, however, great relief when I stop squirming and just let things be what they are, which, as you say, involves rather a lot of letting go.

Acupuncture is wonderful. It has been my primary care system for twenty years now. The important part is to find a truly qualified one as they have had masters level training and beyond — in New Mexico they can even use the title Doctor, though not in other states yet. It not only helps with symptoms, it also helps the body function better, especially the immune system. (I do qi gong for that as well.)

Have you tried fresh Royal jelly? I found that a real game changer for me on brain fog and fatigue, as well as energy, stamina, and clearing of toxins. Awesome stuff! I get mine from a local apiary that only ships, ebeehoney.com. They ship it frozen as it has to be kept cold to retain potency. Not cheap, but worth every penny!

I am super encouraged to hear you are doing a Buhner protocol as well. I have not found any other source that was so down to earth and comprehensive in approach, which is probably why the complete cure rate is so high, even with people in super bad shape who exhausted all other alternatives. Plus, his is the only Lyme book that made me laugh out loud. ????

Any time you need encouragement, just holler. By encouraging you, I remind myself of why to have hope and believe. Thank you for that gift. Blessings, Aine

The most recent voice was that of Dr. Axe, believe it or not! He seems to be popping up all over the place these days, and when I, in a moment of discouragement myself, typed in “Healing from Lyme Disease” in google, up came something from his site. I was surprised to find his info was well-informed and not CDC party line, which was encouraging right off.

One of the other encouraging voices is Stephen Buhner. Buried in a talk he did in Massachusetts a few years ago (maybe 2013?) is a very offhand, “Of course you can heal from Lyme Disease,” said in precisely the “well, duhhhh” tone I needed to hear. 😉

There are others online whose names are escaping me at present.

However, one of the biggest healing voices is that of my acupuncturist. She is who first figured out this is what I had, and she has been awesome in helping me heal, along with Julie McIntyre, an herbalist who used to work with Stephen Buhner and who is an expert in Lyme. Also, my acupuncturist’s cousin healed from Lyme & co using much the same approach I am, and he is now happily engaged on his career as a physical therapist, healed just fine.

I hope that encourages your heart. This is indeed a long and hard road for many reasons, and having those voices to cheer us on and tell us healing is possible helps so much!

If there is a way to send a private message on here, you are more than welcome to give a holler when you need encouragement. 🙂

Blessings on you for complete healing and easing of discouragement! – Aine

Antoinette, I understand. Kudos to you for wanting to drop the heavy load and replace it with a lighter backpack! This past year has been quite trying and painful for me as well, and moving on sounds mighty good!

In all honesty, when my friend said this to me, it hit me how much I had lost contact with Joy and with what brings a smile to my face. Considering that question alone was very therapeutic.

I actually tried Googling Joy and Joyful and other terms to see what ideas are out there. There were a few blogs, but what came out most were things like light, beauty, flowers, birds, butterflies, and whatever brings a sweet smile to your face. Keeping things clean and clutter free were also mentioned, and I realized I do enjoy a good vacuum stripe in the carpet. Lol

For me, I wanted to go with beautiful items AND fun items. I love animals and have three rescued dogs, one rescued cat, and a flock of happy free range chickens, so naturally I wound up with some whimsical animal pieces, including a 1950’s taxi with a llama sticking out the window and some black kitty prints that look like our cat (when he’s awake…) They made me smile! I also love flowers, wild birds, and dragons, and I picked up some of these items via resale.

The core idea is to have fun rediscovering what makes you and your boys smile. That would be an awesome positive exercise. Have each person come up with ideas, you decide on a budget, then maybe you all make a trip to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore nearest you. Or poke around shopgoodwill.com looking for auctions. Then have fun shopping!

Another idea I posted in the lounge to Diane re planting bulbs, if you like flowers. I love having something to look forward to during winter!

May the Joy abound in your life!