My wife. She was born with mild cerebral palsy, and had a difficult childhood because of it, so as an adult she has some issues with fear, trust, and guilt. I’d like to be more compassionate and understanding–and I need to remember to simply LISTEN more instead of showing my frustration at her seemingly unwarranted feelings.

By listening–both outwardly and inwardly.

Love. Compassion. Empathy. Generosity. Understanding. Love. Love. Love!

One thing I’ve learned to do is to almost completely remove the phrase “You should” (or “shouldn’t”) from my vocabulary. That way, my expectations/demands are much lower, which is healthier for both me and the other person. Instead I try to always say “I wish you would…” or “I need you to…” It’s made an unbelievable difference!

My dear mother. Among many other things, she passed on her love for words–and also her interest in how people use them.

One thing I think a lot of us forget to do: listen. Not just hear, but actively LISTEN.

Good healthy doses of honesty and empathy. I try to have these qualities already, but I pray that I can be even better at them.

Among other things, I definitely appreciate honesty, a sense of humor, and tolerance. Not saying a person can’t be my friend if they don’t possess these qualities, but thinking back over many years, all my closest friends have.

That’s easy–DRINKING MORE WATER.

Something I’m still learning to do is to respond, rather than react. Either way, thinking about how I’ll respond (react) to any situation gives me the time I need to curb any unhealthy impulses.

Since I work from home (and my wife doesn’t), I’m a “house-husband.” I do all the cooking, and most of the cleaning, laundry, etc. It’s gotten to where I’m starting to micro-manage our household, and trying to control every little aspect of our lives at home. It’s creating unhealthy tension, and it’s something I need to work on: to love more, and worry less.

With kindness, compassion, humor, and tolerance.

Above all else, I want to learn how to be more accepting of our current financial situation. My wife and I get by, but there’s usually not a lot left at the end of the month. I hope, in this new year, to be able to change that through my writing–but if that doesn’t happen, I want to learn to be okay with it. We DO have a whole lot of love for each other….and when all’s said and done, that’s definitely what’s most important!

Above all else, it offers me a sense of continued humility. No matter the scenery–mountains, beaches, woods, or tall buildings–I’m reminded of the power of God, and that I’m in no way the center of the universe.

Oh, that’s an easy answer: by using my sense of humor. I’ve always loved making people laugh–and as the youngest of three kids, it’s been a lifelong specialty of mine. And to me, there’s nothing more joyful than giving someone a good, deep belly laugh!

Without a doubt, my recovery community–both in person and on social media. And in both instances, I can lead by example: I can show others the benefits of 12-Step programs by demonstrating the profound effects mine has had on my life.

I’ve also heard, “Don’t should on me, and I won’t should on you.” Thanks for the additional thoughts!

I know Mother Teresa once said that “listening is the beginning of prayer.” Regardless, it’s a great gift indeed! <3