Gratitude Lounge

Dear Pilgrim, it is so nice to see you! (Waves slightly north and westward and blows a kiss)

I am so sorry your hand is painful. Have you tried acupuncture? I don’t know what the issue is, but a friend of mine avoided surgery on her wrist with acupuncture, I think for a ganglion cyst or something like that. It might not be indicated for your particular issue, but a good acupuncturist will generally tell you what he/she can and cannot help. For instance, when my acupuncturist friend in Maryland broke her elbow quite badly, she needed it set, of course, but she was out of the cast two weeks early and surprising her doctor thanks to doing acupuncture for the break. He had been a bit more pessimistic as to her outcome as she was in her 60’s at the time.

I am so glad you liked the Dale Carnegie book. He has such old-fashioned horse sense, and he was saying things that are now “new” but doing so all that time ago. It struck me so much that if he wrote that during the time of Hitler and just after that it was probably pretty powerful stuff and thus especially helpful for any current politically based fears.

Have you found Frederick Buechner’s work yet? He is another I think would resonate with you. I’d start with “Listening to Your Life” as a nice book of 366 daily snippets, but “A Room Called Remember” was quite powerful.

Have you read Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul? In it, he talks of how our thorns persist until we let them emerge, and if we don’t, our lives revolve around attempting to make our life proof against people touching our thorns! It was one of those moments for me when I read and sort of said, “Well, huh. That explains a lot!”

OH! Another book — The I Hate to Cook Cookbook by Peg Bracken. Lots of easy recipes, but really, it is more for the humor. She also wrote one called, “A Window Over the Sink” that is quite funny. I think you would like her. She may be hard to find as she wrote in the 1960’s I think, maybe into the 1970’s.

If you will permit me, dear Pilgrim, I think perhaps you underestimate your effect and purpose just as you are — not as you used to be, not as you want to be, but just as you are. I know that I value the wisdom you share with us here and am appreciative of your perspectives and unique voice.

This is something I struggle with, too, not because of retirement but because I have spent so long in the isolation of illness and lack of employment in the outer world. I will admit that there are times it has felt like a fishbowl with me as the fish, watching the rest of the world go about its oxygen rich business as I swim in circles and try to learn contentment. HA! (bloop bloop bloop)

H0wever, as I progress in healing from this last decade plus of stress and trauma I am learning to allow myself to look at it differently, with more self-compassion.

I mean, goodness sakes. I look at the list of what I have been through and am appalled. My first reaction if someone ELSE told me they had been through all that would be complete compassion, so it needs to be my reaction for me as well.

I know your list is also NOT small. You, too, have been through MAJOR stresses and life changes in the past 5-10 years, with retirement being just one biggie on the list.

I know for myself I have been tempted to pin my bouts of ennui or struggle on this or that aspect of the past decade, but the truth is that it ALL had an effect. That stuff adds up.

So maybe it is simply that you are still in a time of recovery from it all and that your life purpose in this new phase of your life will unfold before you in its time when conditions are right, as will mine. We’re just not quite there yet.

Perhaps your life purpose is like one of those exquisite folded flowers made of tea leaves whose new form can only reveal its beauty when the leaves swell with new water and warmth. Initially, it may look like just a knot of dry leaves, but that is not the truth of what lies within that form. Maybe you just need time, warmth, and an attitude of curiosity and anticipation to see what unfolds!

Love and Peace to you, dear Pilgrim.