I think coming back to noticing throughout the day, appreciating the ordinary miracles of my body – my breath, the fact that I can think and see and hear and speak, the muscles of my legs and across my body that somehow move and balance in a thousand ways, and all that nature has given me.

And to sing a song that moves me, any time I stray into negative thought patterns focused on all I seem to lack. That so often puts me back in a space of readiness to notice and take in the beauty around me…

If there’s someone I’m angry with, seeing the wounded child within them often brings me back to love, forgiveness, kindness and acceptance.

If a life situation arises that I perceive involves an unjust loss for myself, reaching out and experiencing the kindness of those around me is one way I can find the love and kindness in the universe again (and in that way forgive the universe).

If a tragedy involving others arises, focusing on the helpers (as Mr. Rogers encouraged people to do) is a way to find kindness in the midst of terrible circumstances.

And if I’ve said or done something I regret, that seems like a failure, I can choose to turn away from self-blaming thoughts and hold the wounded child in me with love and acceptance.

What comes to mind for me is to think how I would hold the feelings in me now if I knew I was about to die, which I’ve experienced really can happen any day, at any time, to anyone.

What I’m feeling now is mostly anxiety and sadness, so I think if was about to die, I would lovingly hold these feelings as part of my aliveness, breathe into them, and choose to keep seeing the sunlight and appreciating the simple fact of being alive – the miracle of this body with all it senses.

Even these feelings might be experienced with wonder, as I’ve seen can happen in the presence of acceptance, surrender and compassionate witnessing.

My best two cents on this question! ????

I find myself struggling these days with the decisions I’ve made in my life so far (41 years in) – wondering especially if I could have healed from Lyme years ago, if I could have devoted myself more to writing and music and be creating deeply meaningful works today, and if I missed chances for long-term, loving relationships years ago by not recognizing the good that was there.

I’m not exactly sure what the limiting belief is behind all this. It may be that I don’t deserve love, or a sense of being somehow broken and ashamed that others will see this if I really show myself. Or maybe my choices haven’t been that bad – I have many loving friends, I do write and play music, I have a job that’s fulfilling in many ways and live in a beautiful place, etc.

It seems to me both are true – there’s some very old belief in something inherently being wrong or broken about me that it’s time to let go of (and that I clearly need more support to really get beyond), and my life has so much to celebrate and be grateful for.

Thank you for reading! ????

When I was in grad school for psychotherapy, I had a wonderful “Small Group Process Leader” (someone who facilitated group therapy in the form of an open talking group rather than a focused educational or skills-building group). Once in the group I was reflecting that I often regret not asking others what they’re feeling toward me, and that I miss chances in that way to know if they really care or are angry with me, and to express appreciation toward them, because I was stuck in a fear learned in childhood.

His reaction is still with me today: “Well, it’s way too late to start now!” he said with a playful laugh and a warm smile. I opened up much more with other people in the group that day and in the two years we still had together (after a year of already having been in that group).

Just openly asking to know what others were feeling when I felt disconnected or perceived someone may be angry with me and wasn’t sure if I’d done something or said something to cause this (which turned out to rarely be the case) transformed my life and has given me a new way to deepen closeness and trust with others ever since. I am honestly more grateful than I can say for that gift.

These posts have made me hopeful this morning. That all of you see acts of kindness and let them touch you, and give kindness and see it touch others. That the human heart has this vulnerability and sensitivity to love and connection, even in the midst of all that can be violent and deadening and a cause for real despair in this world. And seeing these moments in my life, like a client letting me know how my listening had helped her, or the kindness of a friend who wished me a happy 198th birthday of Walt Whitman yesterday (remembering he’s my favorite poet).

May these little acts add up, and may we keep finding ways to hold this planet and everyone in society in this same spirit of kindness, institutionalized kindness that protects the most vulnerable and supports us all.