The more I have been learning on forgiveness of late, the more amazing it gets.

I was thankful to find I was not so far from it as I thought and that the act of setting the intention of forgiveness is, in itself, an act of forgiveness.

One thing that resonated was Fred Luskin’s comment that, “Forgiveness is the resolution of grief.” He speaks about how we must first grieve the losses of the harm we need to forgive, and only then forgive. When we skip over the grieving, often because it hurts to confront such things, we keep ourselves from getting a full resolution in our hearts and bodies.

It made me see the process in a different light, as well as showing me some things that had been allowed to “blow over” without ever being resolved in any way. Wow.

I am very thankful for this Science of Happiness course. It is really helping me put together a lot of stray bits that had not made sense to me, not just about forgiving but about life in general and mine in particular. Good stuff!

Good sunshiney morning, all!

As I watched the eastern glow deepen and expand across the fields this morning, you all came to mind. How much more beautiful the world becomes when we take the time to notice it and have others with whom to share that beauty! ????????????

Today I am grateful for illumination, for seeing beyond the smoke to the fire. Isn’t it funny how you can think a thing for years and then suddenly have the pieces fall into place, turning like a kaleidoscope to show you something quite different?

There is grief because of what the Not Seeing has cost but far more hope for positive change now that there is something tangible to address. I can do tangible!

Instead of struggling against a nebulous enemy causing blocks we could not get past, we now have some concrete things we can do and steps to take, both of which will be challenging but empowering.

AND…we are not alone in this quest!

The timeline has been amazing:

I think I prayed a desperate Help-I-have-no-clue-what-I-am-doing prayer on Thursday. And then…

Friday right after acupuncture — root problem revealed and wisdom received, discussion with husband, agreement on new idea
Saturday — dust settling, looking at next steps, wondering how to find resources
Sunday — door opens for us to be taken on as clients of a friend’s son who will help us with learning what we need to do now and eventually with strategies for building a more secure future!

Wow. Anne Lamott was right! It really is “Help, Thanks, Wow!”

So now I am challenged by this process but hopeful that we really can change a longstanding issue that has tripped us up repeatedly for the better and for the long haul.

It was a productive weekend of answers and challenge. Growth is not easy — ask any chick beaking their way out of an egg or snake stuck in a tree while attempting to shed its skin!

So even though I really do feel a bit like I am upside down and wriggling to free myself, I feel more hope for the future than I ever have, and that is very very good!

Oh, yes, dear Palm! Isn’t there a saying that “When the student is ready, the teacher appears?”

I believe the class runs again in September, although it is self-paced. This one ends in June. It helps it not be so hard to keep up. I tried auditing a class on Homer last year but it was much drier than this one. I wound up dropping that one — too much work and too little interest on my part.

This one is wonderful! Fascinating, uplifting, engaging, and so practical!

I see another few classes on poetry, including one on Walt Whitman, another on Emily Dickinson… I shall skip the Modernism one. The university system I got my degree under was heavily into the Modernists. If I never see another suicidal female poet’s work again, it will be fine by me! One of the female Modernists actually wrote speaking out against this tendency to suicide in female Modernist poets because it was so very prevalent. ????????????

Learning about forgiveness this way is making it more accessible to me, more doable. It is simpler somehow.

I am farther than I thought in the process, as I said, but I do so need to let go! Perhaps I hang on out of grief, since letting go is a rather final acceptance that this is it forever, and my kind heart still wishes I had been able to pull a rabbit out of a hat and make it all come out the way I wanted. Unfortunately, it was a No Rabbit zone!

This one made me tear up. I have had a number of old dogs throughout my life, and they have a special place in my heart. Such faithfulness!

Your poem made me think of the paintings by an artist, John Weiss. He does some wonderful dog art. I do not know how, ahem, mature in years you might be, so do not take the age of the man personally, please! It is more the love this artist captures, that feeling of old best friends. (Oh, gee, now I am tearing up again. There is a reason I don’t watch sad animal movies!)

By the way, once I get my blog going, I will have a poetry area. I plan to have some guest poets in that area. If you would be willing, I would love to have you contribute some of your pieces. I’m afraid there’s no money in the offer (for either of us!), but if you would be interested, I would love to have you. Here is one of the John Weiss paintings.

I understand, Doreen. This has been true for me at times during my life as well. Safety, especially physical, was one need that was a fear for me as a child and living in a high crime area for many years.

Right now, we are emerging from a very difficult span of time financially, physically, and emotionally where although our basic needs did get met most of the time, the very real concern about whether they would be was an ever present companion.

Now that things have improved, the knowledge of that time makes me even more grateful for the consciousness of my needs being met now, perhaps in ways that one who never had that concern cannot understand. That in itself is Gift.

Dear Manda, an interesting thought, that! Sometimes my body seems to generate anxiety like a spring. ???? I liked the image Peter Levine used of a Slinky to explain how we expend so much energy in trying to keep all the emotional stuff tightly coiled. (He put it better than I!)

I have been aware of the anxiety coming up of late, though this is to be expected with such big changes in the works and so much riding on them. I think, too, that when we have been through a tough span, physically and emotionally, perhaps we are simply depleted a bit and thus more prone to having the anxiety visit.

For me, the meditation and hypnotherapy have helped me see that the physical pain -emotional pain twist was more of a tangled snarl than I had thought. I had known that the pain ramps up the anxiety, but the anxiety ramps up the pain. Shame ramps up the anxiety, thus affecting the pain, and shame is often experienced in my body as a physical sensation of terror, which ramps up both shame and the anxiety, and therefore pain. No wonder my trauma damaged circuits needed rewiring!!!

Thank you, dear Diane. I am learning much from you, as well. I love how the sharing in here is so gentle but thought provoking. I have been, and am, so blessed by these wonderful souls!

Did you know butterflies are also a symbol of resurrection? Awhile ago, I worked on an Easter art installation with a friend at the church we both attended. She had created an amazing piece of color and movement — just full of butterflies — in pastels on canvas.

My part was to create a floral display and fountain in the foreground so the butterflies would seem to be arising out of the flowers on Easter morning. The way the lighting worked out, everything was just popping out at you. Even the water spray was alive with light.

Watching people interact with the installation was priceless. Regardless of age, the wonder of a child showed on all their faces. The image of one man carrying his small son, both entranced, with the child’s tiny hand extended to the spray of water with both haloed in light is forever in my memories of that Easter morning. Somehow, it captured the essence of the wonder, the light, and the love of that day for me.

I hope you don’t mind, Liebe Ursula, if I jump in on the question of Sunny.

I like to take the approach of helping a dog ease through a situation so they realize on their own that there is no need for panic. We did approach with our newest dog in storms, and it helped. I gave him 3-5 drops of valerian tincture soaked into a dog biscuit when a storm was coming. It soothed him down enough that he got much much better on storms! Sometimes he does not even need the valerian now! It is an occasional use herb, which is perfect for the odd storm or car ride. We also used it to help his separation anxiety, and that, too, is better.

That said, some dogs never will enjoy car rides. Our Lily did best when she could sit on a seat and look out. She had been beaten for throwing up in a car as a pup, which is VERY common for puppies to do. She would have an anxiety attack, and there went her breakfast! It got better as she aged and realized we would never beat her, but in the back of the car, it returned FAST. I once spent six hours of an eight hour trip with her sandwiched into my seatbelt with me and drooling like a fountai. That trip the only place she felt okay was when I was holding her. This was because we had thought her past her tummy wobbles and put her in the back with the others. BIG MISTAKE. Part way, she had barfed in the back.

Often, though, part of the problem is that some dogs seem to feel the motion of the vehicle more in the back. I knew one who would vomit unless she rode in the front passenger foot area.

I would try both the valerian or a natural calm supplement and not having her ride in the very back.

I hope that helps!