Good morning, The excerpt (below) from Pema Chodron’s book, “Start Where You Are” should be read at the United Nations. It is so powerful. Perhaps, in all situations our first thought could and should be, “Be still and know that I am God…Be still and know that I am…Be still and know that I…Be still and know that…Be still and know…Be still…BE.

Life is Process… …Respond instead of React…Respect instead of Regret…Evolve instead of Revolve…Go in the Peace of a Grateful Heart.

“One of my favorite dharma teachers is Dr. Seuss; he captures the human condition so beautifully. One of his stories starts with two people walking toward each other along a narrow road. When they meet, they each refuse to step to the side so that the other can pass. Everyone else builds bridges and even whole cities around them, and life just goes on. But the two stubborn ones stand there for the rest of time, refusing to budge. It never occurs to them even after eighty-five years that they could be curious about why the other is refusing to move, or that they could try to communicate. They could have had a really interesting debate in all those years even if they had still never moved.

The point is not that you’re trying to achieve harmony or smooth everything out. Good luck, if that’s your goal. The point is to live together on this earth with our differences, to communicate for its own sake. The process is the main thing, not the fruition. If you achieve your goal with aggressive tactics, nothing really changes anyway. Pema Chodron, “Start Where You Are” pp 168-169”

Blessings, Carol

If you spend a lot of time looking for the meaning of life, I suggest you live the question: What does it mean to BE ALIVE? Some of us make it to the airport but we fail to get on the plane. Maybe, we are trying to carry to much baggage. We forget to trust life. We forget that the cost of the ticket is willingness. We cling to our unhealthy need to control and fail to lose control to the Spirit of Wholeness, the oneness of mind, body and spirit which constitutes truly “Being Alive moment to moment.” That makes everything new. Let it BE.

Everything can be taken…but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor Frankl

The Summer Solstice occurred last night between 11 p.m. and 12 a.m. in my time zone. The Summer Solstice marks the longest day of the current year but if one is living in the NOW, time becomes a “moment to moment” experience in which we make choices that either enrich or impede life. Today’s quote reminds me that I’m free to choose my attitude at any given moment. I share a poem I wrote in 2014 that reminds me that my choices matter and that to choose an attitude of gratitude not only impacts my life but contributes an energy to the world and the Universe that is life giving.

God is Being

God, You are not a Being. You are Being it’s self,
ever faithful, ever present, in joy and in sorrow.

Your vulnerability humbles me beyond belief
and at times, leaves me lonely and afraid.

You see, I’ve come to know my choices matter.
They either nurture or destroy the gift of life.

For You have made us all creator
and I don’t want that responsibility!

Why don’t You change the game?
Just fix everything?

“It’s not possible,” You say.
“I have to change. It’s called free will,” You say.

“Become the peace I seek.”
“Share it with all I meet.”

“It’s an inside job,” You say,
“That begins and ends with me.”

“Boredom is a lack of attention.” Fritz Perls

Good Morning, This quote presented on demo.gratefulness.org a few days ago hit the bulls-eye with me. I’m an A-Personality type. Neurons fire in my monkey-mind in so many directions that I miss what is right in front of me or I become aware of every ache and pain that my physical and emotional history has garnered. I get bored way too easily. It is a red flag that always brings me to a need for stillness.

I recently joined eckharttolle.com’s Awakening to the Presence site and have been watching and listening to some of Eckhart’s recorded and live sessions. I say listening and watching because Tolle is unlike any teacher I have ever known. Stillness permeates his being. It defies distance and drives every word he utters and every pause he takes on my computer screen. It challenges my EGO which is prone to impatience! I’m not always comfortable with his sometimes lengthy pauses. I find my mind saying, “Get on with it!” But when I consciously choose to hang in there, I start experiencing an inner stillness, a presence that I sense has always been there.

Tolle makes a point of accenting the fact that silence and stillness are not the same thing. Silence is an outward experience—an awareness of a time of quiet in the environment. Stillness is inward and is a calm that words fail to capture. He says we all possess this stillness but seldom claim it.

This I know. In the presence of this inner stillness, gratitude blossoms big time for me in spite of the fact that cervical surgery in 1998 has limited my ability to do many things I love and I have grieved several losses. It was very hard to learn to ask for help to accomplish some of what most of us see as simple tasks.

This is what that has taught me. Life is about letting go. If we accept that fact, we will be prepared for the final letting go of the gift of life and every day we have been given will become precious to us no matter what our situation. An attitude of gratitude makes this possible or as my son reminds me from time to time, “Every day’s a good day, Mama.”

This question reminds me of a quote that is often credited to Eleanor Roosevelt: “The past is history. The future is mystery. Today is the gift. That’s why we call it the present.” I’ve come to believe that expectations are fueled by the past and the future so they can rob the present moment from us. I spent a good part of my life “seeking” until I realized that, too, kept me in the past or the future. Now, I do my best to look and see without expectations. I often think of the gospel of John in which Jesus invites his apostles to “Come and See.” I believe such a perspective creates “awe” and as Antoinette shares promotes a sense of freedom.

Today’s question is a reminder that HOW is the key. As a retired journalist, WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE and WHY were drilled into my head but when it comes to being alive instead of existing, HOW is NOW. I have found that Toltec Wisdom addresses HOW directly. It teaches me:
1. To be impeccable with my word (to speak with integrity);
2.not to take things personally(take the egoic mind in to account); 3. not to assume anything(check it out);
4. and to always do my best (it will always be enough).
Help me to BE what is Mine to BE–Present
Help me to DO what is Mine to DO–My Best in each moment

At this moment, I feel relaxed. Why, because I have just listened to a Buddhist teaching on “right intention” which was followed by a short 10 minute guided meditation. It was a great way to start my day.

I learned that the word, “right” in Buddhism is not the opposite of the word “wrong.” Instead it means “complete.” This definition discourages dualistic thinking—labeling everything right or wrong and though it does not discourage holding on to my longings, it asks me to enter the situations of my life with no preconceived notions.

It reminds me to relax. I suffer from anxiety and it gives me the courage to commit. Maybe, I’m afraid but my intention to be open and stay open to “what is” shouts freedom to my soul. I may never overcome psychological fear because I doubt that I will ever be permanently egoless. However, reflecting on how I feel in this moment, knowing that I am more that my “sense perceptions, thoughts, and emotions,” I can choose to let go of my fear-filled story line (if only briefly) and relax. It reminds me of a quote from Helen Keller that I’ve shared before and which is very helpful to me.. I turn to it often: “Life is a daring adventure or it’s nothing at all.” Feelings come and go. “Right Intention” responds rather than reacts when they arise.

What “LIFE limiting beliefs” do I wish to move beyond? What might help me do this?
My first thought regarding today’s question was of a quote from Alan Watts that I share often. “Belief clings. Faith lets go.” It is a key to remembering that we are part of evolution and the most profound definition for evolution is “awareness.” To grow in awareness is not necessarily to understand everything. Instead it is to set an intention to be willing. My job is willingness. God’s job is transformation. When I root myself in willingness (or as Thomas Keating says, “Open heart, Open mind”), I find the faith necessary to forsake clinging to life limiting beliefs. Sometimes letting go feels like death. It is not always pleasant but after almost 75 years of trial and error, I choose the vulnerability that faces fear and chooses to love it to death. I see it as the alignment of mind, body and spirit and a reflection of the teachings surrounding Trinity. The words of the Beatles song, Let it BE come to mind: “In times of trouble, Mother Mary comforts me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it Be.” Just writing this, I feel the Trinitarian flow of birthing, dying and rising again and again. Blessings, Carol

In reading the posts this morning, I see that many are sharing about friendship. Our culture promotes friendliness more than friendship and to my way of thinking friendliness does not measure up to my definition of kindness. I share a story below about the beauty of true friendship and how it can be tested to the breaking point.

Henri Nouwen in his May 1, 2015 “Bread for the Journey” daily meditation, points out the fact that “We need friends. Friends guide us; care for us; confront us in love [and] console us in times of pain.”

That said. When we expect one friend to have all we need, it is not friendship. Either we end up disappointed or the other person ends up resentful because at some point the friendship becomes dependence for one and burden for the other.

I made the mistake of putting a dear friend of mine in this position. She finally had to withdraw her friendship from me. I had become a liability—too big of a burden. Though this happened many years ago, I still miss her but I understand why she did it. Her needs were very far from my mind. I was fear and neediness personified in those days.

Sharing and caring is very different from neediness and neediness is very different from need. Our relationship started with mutual need. There was nothing we could not share with each other and there was total acceptance of it all but then I put her on a pedestal and made her my main source of strength. I was clingy and narcissistic.

Granted my whole world had fallen down around me but friends can’t fix that. They can console us, even emotionally support and encourage us and physically shelter us if that is helpful but when we put them on a pedestal, when we forsake our own inner strength, we are not graciously accepting their help we are using them.

I will always cherish that friend but I have no contact with her now. I honor her choice. I am very thankful she believed in me enough to do what was best for her and which I know today was best for me. She made me look within for the strength I needed. She refused to let me depend on her for what I needed to realize anad to do to take responsibility for myself.

I have learned from her. When in doubt, do what is best for you as she did and you will find that it is apparently what is best for the others in your life.

To this day, I cherish her friendship.

Blessings, Carol

Antoinette, What an inspiring and vulnerable message you shared this morning. It will help many and transported me back to a similar time in my own life when my marriage of 35 years ended. Unlike you, I didn’t have the wisdom to let go for years and so I couldn’t really move on. I share with you a couple of stanza’s from a poem I wrote many years later in hopes it will bring you joy. As a dear friend of mine said to me once, “Don’t let anything rob you of your joy!” Here are the two stanzas:
“Now is the hour,
acceptance the key.
Not husband or wife,
Not bliss or strife,
just the willingness to be.

To be the light of my own life.
To see the gift hidden
in my darkness,
To share the wisdom garnered
from my pain.”

May we all learn that to be responsible is to be willing to respond instead of react to life.
Blessings, Carol