Writing again here,( happy day,!) for daily gratitude; grateful living with chronic and now acute pain is another lesson that I have endured before, a familiar path, and have learned much about it over the past decade or more. I am going to write here for my community and pray I find some familiar names and folks here once again, as well as discover others of like mind who are new here.
The key answer to the question always firstly, IS maintaining and finding gratitude,as it surrounds me. Even if pain is worse, it is not limiting of my life that was not already . I want to share with others in doubt or question, that yes we can do and live our lives in some pain that is relieved through ex. my love of yoga, meditation, reading, writing, all healing. I am loving my life of yoga, spiritual awakening that is constant, and am so grateful to have the chance to be back in touch with the side of me that longs to live what I know, to practice it, on and off my mat that was getting a bit dusty though I am facing now days ahead where it may limit me more…. self-love, love of all others, service, helping others no matter how- will help me as well. Asking God daily, (and oh, yes there are many feathers, signs from my Angels to remember to do this), to guide me, bring me to self, so I may live a good life full of gratitude and service. We are challenged daily, whether it is pain, or something else.
I know that my first appearance here again after months of not writing here, is actually writing about my own exact present life. It is profound, yet also familiar ,as I have many days of the spiritual touches, reminders, the odd phone call when thinking of that person, or meeting by chance of another I was about to find, seeing numbers 1111 or 3’s–it’s all an accepted and beloved part of my life with my belief and Faith, I am ever grateful for.
This daily question is a great opening door to my other sharing writers here. Is anyone experiencing pain, are you having difficulty finding the purpose and lessons through it, and what and how can we be grateful and practice that life through these times?

This is my beginning after months away from what was becoming my most desirable place to go and write, feeling safe, and within a group that developed a bit and was where I wanted to share , write, read, reply, connect with others. I am always grateful for this group, for the Gratefulness site, and for them opening new doors to connection to others.
Briefly: after 5 incredible months without intense pain following sets of 2, 3 weeks apart, epidurals for this back in Nov., ’16, I now once again, must come to terms with and face the reality that my spine is creating much pain for me during the recent weeks. I must decide whether or not to go ahead and keep sharing symptoms with my doctor online, when to schedule epidurals if it is safe to do so now, and how to get things done around this house.
I had not been writing due to our recent family and life decisions to sell our coastal house, which is sad yet still we go there , with or without a house there, traveling back and forth. We love our home on our farm , own a sailboat that we have had many incredible moments and passages upon, so I knew that next would come hard work that I needed much assistance with. It is hard for me to let go and allow others to follow instructions, to pack, help me as I love the part of design, so to stage the house, arrange it all is a joy; for and work ourselves to move most of the furniture and art to storage, or our farmhouse 2 1/2 hours away, where we now are living. The house is on the market; it is a great house, and we hope to be able to have someone come along who will love it as we first did. Much love, planning and designing, went into the home which we have been ever grateful for during the past 14 years. Now we turn our attention to dreaming of doing the same or similar amount of restoration with our 1940’s farmhouse, on 15 acres of land, that holds local history and sits upon a hill, with a pond, private driveway winding up a hill that is impossible to reach during ice storms, and we LOVE it. This is home, our children feel the same as we do. It is a longer story, I seem to over-do with lifting or reaching incorrectly, when we are in transition like this. The last time I endured such pain that would not leave for a month or more of treatment, I vowed and without judgement, would not harm my body by lifting things, moving things around alone, etc., and disrespect this as a promise to myself to prevent it from happening again. I know I have done very few things yet they could have been key in irritating the disc that rests on my Sciatic Nerve, in Lumbar Spine. I am used to constant, chronic spinal pain even though now, I must let go of the one thing that normally is my saving grace- yoga. It is P. T. and is also my beloved way of finding balance both within and without. Meditation is a large part of this practice, so I do know that it is possible even if one cannot bare to walk. Walking is something that is also contributing to this event of pain; I must be mindful, again I am grateful for this lesson of mindfulness as it will strengthen through doing it. Writing and finding time to rest a bit each day as I am supposed to be doing, will be heavenly if I allow it – I will, and I will practice acceptance, non-judgment, only let it be a huge lesson for me as I do not of course know when or where anything will happen that could be ten times worse.

Blessings to and gratitude for all here. Namaste’

Hi , Pilgrim! It is like a beacon of hope and light in my day reading and hearing from you….many thanks for this — I just saw it! I have thought of you during this time I took away from writing on Gratefulness as you are one person who always is present. It means more than you can know to hear from you. It is my life that you summed up so very well. I have more going on, as you probably can imagine that we all do, but you are right- I know my body and its’ abilities as well as these limitations, and am able to accept it, processing everything which will keep me moving along as lessons await me, a beautiful garden is outside already that I may water, walk around, just not lifting things. I am always open to change, yet with pain it is honestly altered. I know that you understand. I love designing and planning, so that is something, as well as have a friend who is a designer that has helped us immensely with our beach home, alongside a contractor living in another city. Still he is great with trips up to us unless he is on the W coast w/ his aging parents who need his help building their new house! Now for me, it will be a return to writing, keeping up with you and others on this beautiful place to be heard and to listen, enjoy the surroundings of spring’s nature watching baby birds hearing them peep their first hatching day, and knowing they fledge always it seems when I am not at home- chickadees, wrens, both are and have done one round of this at my back door- I should post a photo I took of the chickadee’s choice of a red church-shaped home I hung that has a cross as the entry, it is too funny as I did not imagine they would make a nest so close to our patio. Sending you much love and gratitude today. With peace, Debbie

That is new to me, so thank you so much for the yard area control for ticks and fleas. This is our yard we mow; the ticks are everywhere, but cannot control all 15 acres but I long for the pond to be clear, trimmed, at least of low-lying limbs and poison ivy, so that I may walk among the hardwoods, see the fish and turtles, water coming from the earth spring, add to my water lilies which are prolific and blooming early spring.
BUT that being said, yes the ticks have no bulls eye effect and we have lived here a long time off and on, when we lived in town for our kids to have good public schools- NC ranks low, like 48 on the whole nation’s rating, but our town, Chapel Hill, rates #1 in our state at least. 99.9% of all kids are graduated, teachers work hard, parents participate. Otherwise, they also love the COUNTRY- where our dogs stay close-by, kittie also, as do we, when barefoot or with jeans and boots and gardening w/ spray on our bodies! Not worth the chance, for sure. Thank you! Also, yes, I have put chickens and guinea hens on my list of desires for the farm- we never had a tick when we had them before, inherited them w/ the farm in N. J. for 4 years. Take care, watch those ticks, yes my husband had one bad reaction, it was a deer tick tiny, no talk of it really, and when he had meat, which I stopped eating a long time ago, we were driving to NCMHospital ER one night at 3 a.m., he could not breathe, having to find the lone pill in the whole house I had to bite it for him to be able to swallow it and it reduced the swelling til we got to the ER doors- weird reaction, the meat was a catalyst, we have lived w/ Benadryl and the shots of course for him everywhere since. Gradually he re-introduced chicken, then beef into his diet. His choice. We seem ok now. Bless you!

I will be so thinking of you, Kevin, I know that you will be fine, and it seems to be the best choice you have before you…do you mind if I know which day and time it is scheduled? If ok, I would love to send you and your team, healing through only positive as I open my heart and soul to God and Angels,and that they will provide you and your Dr. & staff, strength, courage, compassion, healing, maintaining your anticipation of a day that you are feeling no or less pain. That is the same area that is my “problem child”, yet any doctor that has read my MRI’s, taken care of me for some time, (choice would be my neurosurgeon because he is a top surgeon, spines and brains only), if I do require surgery one day- it would probably be in my upper back, the Lumbar is pretty much set as is)- it’s great to hear your solution is possible; I can’t imagine that if this has been writer and creativity block due to pain this past year or so what you may be like when you are free!!! Write me, love and muchmuch of it and healing as you know….I will be praying for you dear one, who everyone here seems to love…..xoxoxo

Beautiful, dear Antoinette- love is the key always. You are right, keep loving and accepting him, listening, and with an open heart. Listening to our children is the challenge that we all need to really take a closer look at as we hear so many things about how to raise them, and school is probably a good example of why so many come out not knowing a lot, nor feeling loved by many others, and even feeling like failures as they have not learned how to excel and love themselves. THIS is our job! I hear what you are saying, and it is true for us all.
We are too tuned in to what others say and expect- life is precious. He is in a stage that my sons have been in, yet who are older I imagine than yours’ but it never is too different just based on different people and where they are, what is causing it, etc. I tell the one home now, from college for part of the summer, that he has such great compassion for others, his strengths are beautiful as he is a solid, balanced good guy and to his friends- sometimes to the point where he has to learn lessons about his choices- but this is not unusual for him. I love him, hold my family as THE most important part of my life, as we are all intended to do.
He has CAPD, he is excelling in his major that he loves and wants to finish w/ his degree this year, I am so proud of him!! When he was initially diagnosed, I knew what was to be in life and difficulties and challenges- I have always, along with my husband, have been his advocate through every level of school, in every classroom and without him losing his self-esteem, I pray. I never was over-protective, yet as parents, one must always always be involved in a way appropriate to a child’s age, thus no surprises and even though he may have some kind of life now he wants you to not be involved with, I see it as perhaps a time to leave behind self-judgement, if you do have a God as I do with Faith ask for assistance, guidance, and forge forward in a way it appears that he will accept and uncover what could be going on with him.
My oldest left without a personal goodbye, yes he had an idyllic childhood, we were both strong and loving parents, etc., I could write a book, and may one day…these kids are often able to recreate their own childhoods, I have learned, we have been in therapy as well as me, on my own, and learned that it is not as unusual as we think…after a beautiful life, graduations, college even also CAPD, with Dad and I always by him throughout any thing he needed and asked for help in, and sometimes we took the step forward knowing it was right….never give up on your intuition! And love…Best to you, love him always yes! No tough love, only open heart and mind as I can see you have- I would give anything if my son was home, talking to me once again, with understanding and mutual listening and hearing, and talking. Peace.

Kathleen, also note to love yourself daily without judgement, you are doing and living things that only you are creating and we all must find our way , if aware of it we have a lot to be grateful for each day even if it is just this site online. Or our roof, our bed, our knowledge that we are loved. Setting an intention to notice other people in need is a beautiful thing! Being open to the idea that you are capable of creating your life with choices that improve how you feel, establishing more awareness, taking care of yourself, and perhaps writing even just one thing a day that you are grateful for is a great practice. Thank you for writing, and sharing. Love and Peace to you.

Deb, I feel sharing this is so loving and important for us. Support for others through our own experiences and through caring is vital. We need this time to reflect, realize we are loved and that life is a series of lessons- if not through pain, which for me has been going on since my late 40’s, then there are other ways. I realize that although I live with chronic arthritis due to my spine, the acute episodes are the most intensely changing , in good ways though the most painful, periods of my life. I have discovered so much about how to find something to take my mind away from the pain, while also recognizing it and knowing it is fine to do whatever it takes without self-judgement. No one can understand one’s own pain. We can understand our own and relate to each other at least. Those who suffer no pain are blessed, though hard as they may try it is also impossible for them to truly understand it. I hear many different things, but mainly it is the ignoring my reality of living with pain that hurts me the most. There is only opening of hearts that will cure this. As for we who are in pain, strengthen yourself in the knowledge that others do their best with what they can at that moment- (I am talking to myself now!). One of the most difficult aspects of pain day in and out is accepting it without allowing ourselves to suffer, nor languish in it. It is an incredible time as you say, to dream, sleep, find refuge, all of this is really good for me, as well….I am in the middle of changing homes, and am involved in most of the designing and planning. I will have more hands-on help w/ projects now. My back has limitations that are worsening yet I love this life. Thank God for support, for listening and understanding and for my husband, who brings me coffee first thing when he hears me awaken not knowing what kind of night I just had. He is my Earth Angel, we have been married for 36 years, and honestly both of us had such Faith and love from our first meeting on, that has been our support always. Now that we face challenges and losses, changes and for me, pain, I am not fearful- we are able to do what is intended, and will be aware and even more mindful of our blessings as we move forward. Bless you, good to see you again….I am grateful for you and for this space together, of writing, sharing, and reading. Namaste’

Hi, Ben, beautifully written. The breathing into the pain, feeling emotion, is what I know is truth as others say the same to me- may I ask you what is IVIG medication? I do not recognize the abbreviation.
Ben there are so many effected by Lymes it is incredibly frightening, and there are other diseases that sometimes go along with it as you know. My husband’s sister in law was stricken badly, at a young age, soon after she had her two babies it seems , following a single tick when she was traveling in Pa. I lived in N. J. for 4 years and did not know one family that was not effected by at least one incidence that seemed to last, beyond what doctors understood then, a long time.
Thank you and hope you read my long post, lol, as well. I hear what you are saying about nature, it is a healing aspect surrounding me as I am on our farm. There are many ticks this year; we have all been bitten more than once in the past month. I do not fear yet check for them daily, remove them w/ alcohol, watch for any symptoms, and pray a lot. A lot of mowing is going on right now! Keeping the grass short, our pets clean and have preventative on, our own wearing of proper clothing and even Deet, yes I will do it, makes gardening the bit I am allowing myself to do can be a drag, but it’s impossible to enjoy outdoors without caution.
I hope that we are healing as we read and write. Love to you, Light and smiles, healing from and through God and your Faith, always remember you are loved and protected- Debbie