I would have to say goodbye to my perfectionist.
I would have to accept myself and my life as it is today.
I would need to pay attention and notice the miracles all around me and within me. And that is where Gratefulness comes in.
Gratefulness and living in the Eternal Now.
These are the things I need to do to say an unconditional yes to my life as it is today.
But could I ever really do this? Can I stay in the moment, much less the eternal now.
And how about fear, could I ever escape fear?
My perfectionist wants guarantees. My answer to this is to allow myself to do this unconditional yes to life imperfectly.
Keep returning to that which brings me to joy.
My life is a learning process.
My unconditional yes to life would not always be unconditional.
But this can be my direction.
And I can use the many things that I have learned to live joyfully, gratefully, peacefully, and with ever increasing love.
Mary

How would my life change if I saw everything as an opportunity?
First of all I would be a lot happier.
When I think about teaching next year my thoughts go straight to, wow, it is going to be challenging.
I am not going to think of everything as an opportunity. I am just not there. But I will focus on the opportunities I have as the new school year starts and hopefully stick with that thinking all throughout the school year. It is a big undertaking, but I want to come at it with enthusiasm and the spirit of love and peace.
Love and peace to all.
Mary

I can start with being gentle with myself. A lot of emotional stuff has been going on. Second guessing myself is not helpful. I can very easily give extra tenderness to my cats. My cat Billy once again is doing poorly. Gentleness with my cats is easy. Today is my 29th wedding anniversary. There has been a lot of very emotional stuff going on with my family of origin over the last several days. A lot of my attention to them over the last several days has caused some discord between between my husband and myself. I guess I could be extra gentle with both he and myself and accept that, well, he is upset, read hurt, with me. And I am feeling kind of disappointed with the timing of things and the state of both of us today. Tenderness around all of that is needed.
Tenderness, softness, gentleness, tears, calmness, things are ok.
More tears, comfort, gratitude, peace, simplicity, sadness.
I can’t change my husband, and he can’t change me. We certainly both have tried.
Today will be what it will be.
I will live today with tenderness.
All will be well.
Mary

What is life?
Life is a new born baby.
Life is all around me, my cats snuggled around me, my husband getting a snack, the fly that got in while husband was barbecuing yesterday, my white orchids on the dining room table, the trees and bushes and grass outside in the very warm humid air, all the people in all their homes, along with their beloved animals. All the people in the world in laughter, play, intimacy, hope, awe and joy, People in pain, hunger, fear, anxiety and deep, deep sorrow. All the animal and creatures of the sky, land, fresh water and sea. Life is living, breathing, feeling emotion, listening to the sounds, feeling the shoes on ones feet and the hand of a loved one in one’s own. Looking deeply into the eyes of a loved one, watching children at play. Seeing the vastness of the ocean, smelling the salt water in the air, hearing the crashing of waves on the beach.
What is life?
I couldn’t begin to define it. Much of it is mystery to me.
But I know it when I see it and I know it as I live it.
So I have described a portion of life as I know it.
Wishing much joy peace and contentment to all.
Mary

I can think of many things, but I think self criticism and harshness with myself are the biggest things I would like to free myself from especially if replaced by self compassion. The self criticism doesn’t help me. It just makes me feel worse.
I have been taking a course online on self compassion given by Kristin Neff along with Brenee’ Brown and it has been helping me.
It is in the big purple square on the self-compassion.org website. I would recommend it.
Whenever I am kind to myself I feel so much better. My self critic is like this harsh scolding person I bring along wherever I go. She makes difficult things so much harder, and she has never said anything kind or even neutral to me in my life. So why didn’t I drop her a long time ago. Well of course it is because she is part of me and she is actually trying to help me. ( Bad job inner critic! You have not helped at all! Forget about you! Go away!). Well of course freeing myself of my inner critic is not that easy. She deserves love and understanding as much as I do because she is well intentioned and of course she is a part of me.
How would healing myself and letting go of all this harsh criticism feel? Whenever I do let it go it feels wonderful. It feels like I have taken 100 pounds off of my shoulders and this weight was also wrapped tightly around my shoulders and much of my body. I hold so much of this harshness in my body. I would feel so much safer if I could release this. My body would feel more limber and I would have more energy. Shame is a lot more tiring than contentment.
So this is what I’m working on and I am feeling better.
Peace, love, and light to all.
Mary

Alicia!!!
So good to hear from you!! I am so glad to hear that you and your husband are spending quality time together. Spending time in nature can be so awe-inspiring. You really sound good. I love what you wrote about,
“each day being an opportunity to be grateful for kindness,
to meet and speak with other people,
or to be comfortably quiet.”
We should all aspire to this.
I will continue to pray and light candles for you, Alicia, and your dear husband.
Much love to you both,
Mary

Thank you Always Learning for reminding me to be resilient and be willing to fail and then begin again. Thank you especially for the reminder that failing (or getting it wrong) is not really failing at all, but rather is part of the process of learning. I talk to the children about that but it is so important that I carry that attitude with me. Mistakes are ok. It is part of the process of learning. I don’t think I can really teach this until I embrace this in myself.
Thank you again, Always Learning, for this all important reminder.
I will pray for you and your health.
Mary

Debbie! Hi and how are you? So great to hear from you!!
Do you know that I have been thinking about you for the last few weeks!
You know my cat Billy was sick and I had trouble getting him to eat? At that time you suggested that he might like something sweet and sticky. Well I skipped the sweet part but started buying pate’ style cat food which I would beat up to lighten it up and also make it stick a bit to his pallet and tongue. Success!! I don’t think I thanked you for that idea although I was crazy happy that he started eating again.
Well about a month ago he stopped eating again…. Again thinking about sticky, sticking to his pallet and tongue, I thought about really getting his food creamy in a small food processor. Well it comes out looking like cake batter and guess who is eating his food right up. Crazy little cat, I am not sure what else is wrong with him, but now that he is eating he is doing much better. So thanks, Debbie for the sweet and sticky advice. It has helped to save him from himself for a second time. I was so pleased when I saw your icon on the board this evening. I am up past my bed time but I just had to reply. Please tell me how you have been doing, your poetry your art and just stuff in general. I continue to miss you on this site but I know you have to do what is best for you. Thanks for posting. I would love to hear more from you you!
Mary