I have been working on self compassion, even taking an online course on self compassion with Kristen Neff and Brene Brown. I am learning to be my own good friend. I want to have a good life. I want to break long time habits that I learned in my youth that have been destructive and that I have not been conscious enough to see or change. For instance I really don’t have to finish every bit of work before I can do something fun.
Other nuggets of destructive unconscious thought are- I am not smart enough, I am not thin enough, I am not good enough, I have not lived my life well enough and I cannot forgive myself for decisions from the past that I regret. While, I can always make improvements, I am learning to love myself as I am and to be kind to myself. As I write this, I am thinking that this sounds trite (my critical voice) but it is all so true. I am replacing my critical harsh voice with the voice of my higher self.
It is a good day and I am feeling well. My life is getting better.
I am so grateful to everyone at this wonderful web site and to those who have created it and keep it up. I am grateful to Kristen Neff and Brene Brown for their work on self compassion. I feel like I am smiling from the inside.
Wishing all peace, love, and joy.
Mary

Kindness, friendliness, including others, seeing the good in others, managing a group of children and keeping their attention, going out of my way to help or make sure others are ok, trying to change the lives of children for the better.
From this I can learn that I am a pretty nice person and that I should treat myself with compassion. That is exactly what I am working on at this time.
Also I am noting that I try to include the new person, or the person who may feel like an outsider. I don’t want others to feel isolated. This is something I am very conscious about. Yet when I am critical of myself that is exactly the feeling that I bring up in myself. Hmm. Self compassion. Self compassion, where art thou?
I am grateful to Kristin Neff and her self compassion website. This has been so important to me. For me developing self compassion will be a huge part in my becoming a happier person. Actually it already is helping me. As is this wonderful gratefulness website.
Self compassion, mindfulness, and gratefulness- a powerful trio for me!
Mary

I am still working on it too, KC. I think one of the biggest differences is that I am remembering more and more to be grateful. I also try to be mindful. I try to notice the things I usually miss when I am so busy thinking about…yesterday…tomorrow. Mindfulness and gratefulness seem to go hand in hand. And when I feel grateful I feel so much better and then I feel better about myself. So I think I actually come to self compassion through the doors of mindfulness and especially gratefulness.
One other reason I am feeling good: SUMMER VACATION!!!

Gargie,
Have you been on the section of this site called the Gratitude Lounge. If not, look across the top of the home page or the top of most pages and you will see starting from the top left – explore practice Connect , and thenGratefulness with the Lotus symbol above it. Click on Connect. That will either bring you to the Gratitude Lounge or give you some options, one of which is the gratitude lounge. The reason I am suggesting the gratitude lounge is that you can share about anything. You are not limited to the question of the day. There is much less activity in that section but there are a smaller number of people who share in this section who are all so warm and caring. I will post a sharing to you to make it more comfortable for you.
I would like to also say that when I wrote that I didn’t want to ask too many questions, thinking that it might be inappropriate, I meant I didn’t want to be invasive. I get very interested and concerned sometimes people don’t really want that much feedback.
So we’ll talk more in the gratitude lounge.
Mary????

Frequently quiet people are some of the nicest unassuming people you will ever meet.
Being quiet in a social situation does not have to be a liability. If you look around there are frequently other people who are quiet or are new to a group and would love to have your company. Also, no matter who you meet, that person would love to talk about his or herself to some one who is truly interested in what they have to say.
As for myself, overly gregarious people tend to make me nervous. Also I prefer to have one-on -one conversations to being part of a group. I am rather shy and find this to be more enjoyable.
You are who you are supposed to be Christina. Love yourself.
It sounds like you,just as myself, and so many others could use some more self compassion. Have you tried the website selfcompassion.org. It has been very helpful to me.
Much love and peace to you Christina.
Mary

So if I am hearing you correctly the part of me that I identify as myself, Mary, is only a very small part of who I truly am, my higher self. In my life as a human being I have the ego to contend with, but I also have the choice of opening myself to the wisdom of my higher self. It is therefore wise in all matters to open myself to my higher self and allow my words and actions to flow from my higher self, my being-ness.
So, Ed I think I am understanding you and have gained some wisdom from reading and rereading what you have written. Thank you, Ed, for taking the time to explain this to me.
I wish you peace and joy.
Mary

Alexa, you are very young and have so much insight into life and a great desire to cherish the process. It feels to me like you are very hard on yourself. Do you have anyone to talk to about your feelings. A friend or maybe a counsellor at college. College can be a difficult time.
Try to be gentle with yourself. I am a person who tends to be hard on myself and I have found help at the website Selfcompassion.org. Life should feel better when you treat yourself with more compassion.
Wishing you ease and contentment,
Mary

Such a beautiful post Ginni. So full of love and joy!
My husband and I did not have children. I used to feel somewhat envious of people who have children and now I feel somewhat envious of people who have children and grandchildren. And here comes that awful word- sometimes this causes me to feel isolated. But I do have a good husband and a niece and 3 nephews who are local. Between them they have two boys and a girl all under five.
The solution is in front of me. Over the summer I have time to spend with them and when the school year begins I need to make time and find energy for them. These are my family! Yes, these are my family! Sometimes I have to push myself to find the treasures that are right in front of my eyes!!
Much love,
Mary

Your answer actually makes sense to me, but when I get specific, then I am not so sure.
For example consider a situation where I am angry or upset about something and some one unrelated to my issue speaks to me or asks me a question. I answer this person sharply because I am already feeling badly. Am I not responsible for being harsh with this person? I would think that I would owe this person an apology.
I hope you get this question because I am truly interested in your response.