In recognizing that we are all pilgrims, “just passing through,” what reveals itself as most important to you – really?”
That I am not on this path of life alone. Just reading the comments over the last 6 weeks has shown me that….and because I am not alone, sometimes when someone on this path walking beside me needs a hand to hold, a kind word, forgiveness, yes, even love on a dung heap, I can give that…and when I need a hand, there will be someone there to take mine…..

‘If each step of the journey has as much importance as the destination, are there goals that keep you from being fully present? Can you release or re-frame them?’
Oh boy! After reading the poem, and watching Evan Koons translate the poem on YouTube completely for me, did I get a revelation…well, that and spending a good deal of time sitting on my Dung Heap of Guilt(my words) lately…..shedding the manacle that is attaching me to my Dung Heap of Guilt would go a loooong way in keeping me focused and fully present in the ‘now’.

Because I am new to poetry, I needed a little help figuring out everything that was in the poem Kingfishers Catch Fire. I knew there was gold there, but it wasn’t something that came easily to me….so I went to Google, and put in European Kingfishers. Read all about them. Still in the dark. Watched the video again, and gleaned a bit more, but still, something was missing…so, I went to YouTube and this is what I found…fantastic for me. Just putting this up here for others, in case you have trouble translating the poem as I did:: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlPOHGvhekQ

Lovely Humiliation
This one is extremely difficult for me, so difficult I had to reread it four times…maybe five or six…I have lost count…..and I didn’t want to face this at all, but I am taking this class for me, and to be honest with myself, and to share what I am comfortable with, so here it is….
>It is the expectations I have put on my children<
I was raised in a particular way, in a particular fashion, by very well-intentioned parents. When I would find a new playmate, my grandmother would meet the child, as my parents had, and she would ask me, “And who are her/his people?” Always. It was understood that there were our kind of people who we knew generation through generation, and other people. This meant that what I did or didn’t do reflected on me, my parents, my grandparents, and….my ancestors. Honest. This is no exaggeration. Through the ages….it mattered. I am not going to bore you with what the full story was, but will just tell you that my "lovely humiliation" has been, and still is, to let go of those expectations my people have put on my children, through me. So I have shed those expectations for them, layer upon layer….it has taken years, and I do believe I am almost finished with the last layer. It is a tough layer, and as it sloughs away, I am relieved, lovingly humiliated at times(yes, it's true), and very glad to have reached this point in my life. I am so proud of my children, and happy they have become their own "people". Yes, they are still "my people", as my grandmother would say, but absolutely human and kind. And I love them, just as they are…..

“Reflect on the things you take for granted.”
> I take my husband for granted. He is a great man, a wonderful man, and I often grow impatient with him. So just lately I have started to see him with my new eyes. Now I tell him how much I appreciate when he does something for me…not just a thank you, but I make a point to tell him it meant a lot to me, and I really appreciate him.
Seeing with “New Eyes”, and out of exile…..
We live in a multigenerational neighborhood. The young parents here have a kind of networking around their children that many of us older folks have noticed. We were kind of oblivious to what they did for each other, but on occasion we saw them talking to each other. We took it for granted they exchanged information about schools and such, but didn’t really pay much attention. On the weekends, when our grandson would come and visit, the other kids always included him, which was nice, but then life returned to normal, and I didn’t pay any attention to the kids or their parents…..then my son and grandson moved here…
Since March we have been doing before school and after school child care for our 10 year old grandson, and now that summer is here, we have him during the day until day camp starts next week. The other day one of the parents in our neighborhood came to our door and asked if our grandson wanted to go with the other kids to a new park in town. They were taking one of the families vans, and they had room for him. My grandson was delighted, as was I! A dozen gingersnap cookies went along with him, as my way of saying thank you, I appreciate you including him. They had a lot of fun, and I saw, with new eyes, a new facet of the neighborhood we live in….never knew there was this much going on under my nose! Now I will be baking cookies with a grateful heart for those families. I just took for granted they had their lives, and we had ours, and that we had nothing in common…..now we are friends.

Carol,
I did not shed my ancestry, I shed one way of thinking, of seeing things. They only allowed one way of being. Only one way of being alive, or you were considered unworthy. Not allowed to breathe the same air they did…..that means be in the same room or building as them……
They are still my people, my DNA. And my children’s, and their children’s. And on and on….just allowing different ways to think and see things in life.
I opened up my line by accepting other ancestors’ ways of thinking. By inviting them into ‘being’. Because I have that DNA as well.
The visual I get is a very beautiful home, closed up for many generations. And stuffy. Very stuffy and stiff because of fear. No air movement. I opened the windows to let the fresh air inside.
My grandmother was my favorite person growing up, and I was hers. We had an unusually close relationship. It was very important to her to keep those rules, so she and others felt safe, and here she had a grandchild who questioned them. At times, she just didn’t know what to do with all that, but she always said to me, ” I love you no matter what. I really do. I will never leave(disown) you, but stop talking that foolishness.”