So many wonderful reflections on this page! Today I have taken the time to catch up with all the reflections so far in this course, and on the Daily Questions page. I noticed that I forgot to share what wholeheartedness meant to me…well, I will make this short: for me it means giving myself, or as much as I am able to give, over to the commitment. Right now this means taking this journey to find what I am looking for, and accept what I find. I am doing that on a daily basis, and am the better for it. There is much I have discovered, and many things I wasn’t looking for have come to light…it has been a real blessing for me….I have never been a follower of poetry, so I thought this would be a “surface” kind of journey: anything but. It has been a revelation for me in many areas of my life. Miraculous is not too strong a word to describe what I have experienced…..
Thank you all for your fantastic, incredible reflections-they are all very helpful for me, and I know they will resonate with me long after this eCourse is completed.

I have been looking at a few of the contemplations, and just letting them kind of seep in….and something began to rise to the surface….bothering me greatly: all the luggage I have stored downstairs, in our basement(wow-easily analyzed!). I have all this stuff in them I really don’t need. I thought I did, just in case of an emergency, but it has been niggling at me for a few days. I brought them all upstairs, all this luggage–baggage really–and am going through it. Today I will finish, and I will let go of alot of things I thought I might need just in case…you see, many years ago my late husband was very ill, and I often needed a suitcase for emergency trips to the hospital. Many times. Once on a vacation. The whole trip was spent in the hospital, and we luckily had friends along who took care of our kids so they had a nice time. It was still nice because it was a different set of hospital walls, and the views were spectacular. I do regret I didn’t get to see my children learn how to ski and snowboard, but Phillip needed me there.
I am fixing up one bag with things I might need for an emergency visit to the hospital if my husband, son or grandson becomes ill, and the rest? I am donating the luggage and the contents to someone who really needs it! This is a “letting go” I had not seen…never noticed about myself….I have 6 or 7 bags! I need two for travel for trips we take, and am putting together a small bag to set aside just in case there is an emergency trip to the hospital, and that is it.
In a closet in the basement sat, for years, baggage I had just kept pushing aside….stuffing it in the corner, away from the luggage I use for trips…..never noticed….this is a letting go of more than luggage-it is baggage I have carried around for over 25 years!
Thank you seems a small set of words for this revelation….blessings upon you all……in abundance…..

Another reflection after reading the poem again….and may I say, it is like a multifaceted jewel. I see different things that sparkle as my spirit looks at it every time…
Today, May 28th, 2016, it means to me all the things I have become since I was born almost 68 years ago are all a part of me, not to be abandoned, or forgotten. They are still parts of me. They all have value, even if I look back and have serious regrets. A new part/life is merging with these other parts of me, and they will all fit well. I am finding a different way to tread, and this new life/part will take the lead….it is comforting, exciting, and a little scary, all at the same time……

And from the poem, this part has a special meaning for me:
“abandon the shoes that had brought you here
right at the water’s edge, not because you had given up
but because now, you would find a different way to tread,
and because, through it all, part of you could still walk on,
no matter how, over the waves.”
To me, it means giving up old thoughts and ways. Maybe they helped me then, but this is now, and they are worn out, they don’t fit like they used to….and I will find a different way to walk, to go about life, to BE…..a new pathway for me….but I need to be aware, because I don’t want to go back to those old habits of the mind, I don’t want to fall into those ruts on the side of the road/path……they are the old shoes, the old ways of thinking and doing things…the old habits of the mind….this new part of me being born will walk on, will find a way….

So many transitions, and transformations. Living a sheltered life as a child, then thrust out into the world. Staggering. A young bride, a new mother. A divorce. A new bride, again. A grieving widow. A new bride, once more. A grieving mother. A grandmother. A great grandmother. Now a 3/4-time grandmother. All transitions. Transformations. So many joys and sorrows. All a part of me….and here, here is the telling of my reflection on the poem Santiago….and the beautiful The Glimpse:
For me, the road represents faith. I fall off that road, and sometimes lose it, but it comes back to me like it has never left my side….and then, The Glimpse. I was glimpsing at….me!
The person I have sought forever is myself. Letting me be as important in my life as others are….giving myself a rebirth, an invitation of sorts to include myself as my life continues, and as the road stretches on, I am walking on this path instead of behind everyone else, where I usually keep myself, but now, alongside of everyone! As this road of faith stretches on, I walk alongside everyone, not behind them……this is not just a reflection, this is a revelation!

…grief apparent only in the moment
of forgetting, then the river, the mountain,
the lifting song of the Sky Lark inviting
you over the rain-filled pass…

I read that as grief a parent., instead of the word it is intended to be…because I am a parent who has lost a child. Then I realized this is one of my identities…..so it changed this part of the poem for me, I see myself as that parent in grief, then I see the river, which to me represents life, then the mountain, and it reminds me of how I feel when I go to Rocky Mountain National Park, which is holy ground to me, then I see the Sky Lark, which says to me-well, first it is “lifting” ….that says hope to me…and it is inviting me over the rain-filled pass….there is hope, and life after grief.
I will always carry the weight of grief because of the trauma my son suffered before his death. It has been 11 years, and it is there. But the weight can be shared, and there is hope in that. I can now see that some days the weight can be sat down, or even “lifted” on the road, other days it will continue to be heavy on my back…..but there is a peace in that “lifting”, and of course in hearing the Sky Lark.
When your child dies, there is no ending….there are holidays, birthdays, anniversary dates, and that is when the grief is heavy on my heart. What helps me is to know he is at peace, and it gives me comfort…..and the Sky Lark sings, and I see the Light over the rain-filled pass……
No responses are needed, this is simply my reflection on this passage of the poem for me…

This word pilgrim hit home…..I have put David Whyte’s definition on a sticky note on the front of my computer…better to reflect on it, as I will need to really read this over and over…..may even need to print it out, as my mind is having trouble wrapping around these needed words…and it needs to wrap around the words, because I need the comfort of the blanket these words offer me……
Never have I been in situations in my life and expected anyone to help me. At. All. The thought of having help along the way from others hit me like a bolt of lightening!
The other part that struck me deeply and meaningfully was 2 1/2 months ago I was trying to do this transition “perfectly”, and now, after Session Two, I realize there is no “perfect”. I stumbled along, and I was a mess and couldn’t figure out why I was messing up so much. Well, I was trying to do it all alone, and I was trying to do it “perfectly”.
So, this is as far as I have read, but will continue on with the other questions as soon as possible….very good class…..and thank you all for your reflections. They really help me on my road of transition.

Constance,
I, too, am a grandmother, but am not new at it. My oldest grandson is in his 30s, but there is this one grandchild who really needs us in his life right now. He will be 10 soon, and is now living in town with his father. I enjoyed reading your reflections, and love the poem. Hope you find time to write more-it is full of dimension and love…
In my whole life, there has been nothing that equals being a grandmother for me..nothing touches me like this does. It’s nice to read about another grandmother, who is also experiencing what I am…..so thank you for sharing.