Daily Question, May 20 How can I practice grateful living in the presence of pain? 62 Reflections Share Click here to cancel reply.Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment. Notify me when someone replies to my comment via e-mail. Shelly7 years agoShellyOne thing I have found is to write a note of appreciation to someone else. It can be for something they did years ago or yesterday. Or just appreciation for who they are. This type of note requires something from me … it’s not a simple thank you. After doing this, I feel better…for days. It reminds me there is still much abundance in a life that currently seems only about loss. 1 Reply KC7 years agoKCThank you for the helpful question and thoughtful reflections. When I feel pain I tend to isolate, go inwards and withdraw. Grateful living invites me to reach out, connect and stay connected with life, while staying rooted in my own body, mind, spirit, core and with the great tree of life. It also invites me to self-compassion, self-care and kindness, without which I am not much good to others. That is the journey I suppose. I do not have answers to this question for now, so wi... Thank you for the helpful question and thoughtful reflections. When I feel pain I tend to isolate, go inwards and withdraw. Grateful living invites me to reach out, connect and stay connected with life, while staying rooted in my own body, mind, spirit, core and with the great tree of life. It also invites me to self-compassion, self-care and kindness, without which I am not much good to others. That is the journey I suppose. I do not have answers to this question for now, so will stay open to life giving practices for grateful living in the presence of pain. Deep gratitude for this forum and community to live the questions! Warmly, KC Read More2 Reply Aine7 years agoAineAmen! 0 Reply Mary7 years agoMaryKC, your answer is so real. I identify and agree with everything you have written. Mary 0 Reply KC7 years agoKCHi Mary, I appreciate your kind response, and to know that it resonates for you. It is too easy to feel alone on this very human journey! Warm Sunday wishes, KC 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineAlthough it is hard, pain carries many lessons in its wake, lessons we cannot learn without the presence of pain because pain gets our attention even when nothing else will. Pain has taught me many things and moved me to a new place in my life, out of the old system and, as I heal, further and further into a way of life that suits me more, a path of healing and peace. Pain has also helped me learn who was there for me in my pain, and who sought to take advantage, thus pain helped me make... Although it is hard, pain carries many lessons in its wake, lessons we cannot learn without the presence of pain because pain gets our attention even when nothing else will. Pain has taught me many things and moved me to a new place in my life, out of the old system and, as I heal, further and further into a way of life that suits me more, a path of healing and peace. Pain has also helped me learn who was there for me in my pain, and who sought to take advantage, thus pain helped me make some painful but crucial changes in my life and who gets to be in it. That sounds harsh, but often our physical pain is connected to other pain as well, and the barbs of it remind us to consider carefully what and who we allow and deny access to us. Pain has taught me better priorities, that I was attempting to do too much for too long for others without ever considering the toll it was taking on me. Thus, pain has helped me learn to say the blessed and life-giving word, NO. Pain also helps us develop compassion we might not have had another way, both for others and for ourselves (as Ben mentioned in his post). We so often speak to ourselves in ways we would not dream of addressing another, playing the stern unforgiving inner parent to force ourselves through pain or suffering, but sometimes what we need most is to take our inner selves aside and lovingly ask, “You are hurting. What do you need right now?” Pain, and the immobility that came with it for awhile, taught me to see even more the intricate, incandescent beauty of life in and around me. When all I could do was sit and watch, I saw the hummingbirds dipping and swooping through the hanging baskets, the play of light through the white pines, and noticed the caress of a warm breeze. Although I dearly hope the treatments I have been undergoing will be successful and the pain a memory after all these years, I am also grateful for the gifts that have come with the pain. Read More8 Reply Mary7 years agoMaryBeautiful answer, Aine. Much wisdom here. Mary 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineOh, thank you! I am learning! 0 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Gratitude for these true words, Aine. I would love to add you to my community, I have been away for awhile. Your words resonate here. I have always been grateful for my abilities and truly believe that considering where I was, have grown to be along the way, that still there is much that I took for granted despite my prayers, meditation, and writing for gratitude. Again, love your words, and hope you are healing well. Sending you peace, love, connection and that you feel this around you as ... Gratitude for these true words, Aine. I would love to add you to my community, I have been away for awhile. Your words resonate here. I have always been grateful for my abilities and truly believe that considering where I was, have grown to be along the way, that still there is much that I took for granted despite my prayers, meditation, and writing for gratitude. Again, love your words, and hope you are healing well. Sending you peace, love, connection and that you feel this around you as such a support! Debbie Read More0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineAfter I thought for a moment, I wondered, is there some other kind of community to be added to? I only joined in January and do not know all the ins and outs. 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineThank you. This community here is great! Glad to meet you. 😀 0 Reply KC7 years agoKCAine, Thank you so much for sharing your wise lessons and words. Perhaps the learnings you mention are ones I am now ready to learn as well. Learning who to be with and how, and to say no to the people and situations that do not nurture us really is key. Setting priorities and practicing to say No, in order to say Yes to our inner needs is also a big thing. I especially love and appreciate your kind inner parent voice, which speaks as a new voice to replace, or perhaps challenge the 'ster... Aine, Thank you so much for sharing your wise lessons and words. Perhaps the learnings you mention are ones I am now ready to learn as well. Learning who to be with and how, and to say no to the people and situations that do not nurture us really is key. Setting priorities and practicing to say No, in order to say Yes to our inner needs is also a big thing. I especially love and appreciate your kind inner parent voice, which speaks as a new voice to replace, or perhaps challenge the ‘stern inner parent’. Such a kind and beautiful practice to lovingly ask ourselves “You are hurting now. What do you need”? Yesterday I returned from a two week vacation with my husband, cousin and elderly father. I heard my father’s critical, judgemental and domineering voice more clearly now than ever before, and pray for the courage and strength to develop a kind inner voice to honour my own beauty and needs now. It feels so selifish, to make self-compassion and care of self a priority, in order to be there in a kind way with and for others. And, I am not sure what else to do now. Your reflection offers courage and hope for a kinder, more peaceful and forgiving path forward. Thank you! And, I wish you continued healing, greater ease and less pain this day and in the days ahead. Warmly, KC Read More0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineThank you. I am touched. :) I try to think of developing self-care and self-compassion along the lines of what they tell you on airplanes. In the event of an emergency, only after you have put the little oxygen giving mask over your face can you possibly help anyone else with theirs. This has been hard for me -- I've spent much of my life attempting to live "without oxygen," so to speak. I am learning, gradually, that I do not help myself or anyone else when I am in that mode and that gentle... Thank you. I am touched. 🙂 I try to think of developing self-care and self-compassion along the lines of what they tell you on airplanes. In the event of an emergency, only after you have put the little oxygen giving mask over your face can you possibly help anyone else with theirs. This has been hard for me — I’ve spent much of my life attempting to live “without oxygen,” so to speak. I am learning, gradually, that I do not help myself or anyone else when I am in that mode and that gentler really does get us further faster! 😀 Many blessings. Read More0 Reply KC7 years agoKCMany blessings to you as well, dear Aine????????????????… 0 Reply Pilgrim7 years agoPilgrimWhen I read this, Aine, I think of these words I have heard on some TV shows … “you’re preaching today!” Not preaching in a hounding sort of way, but rather an opening of perspective and words that get inside the heart. Thank you, 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineThank you so much. I am grateful for (and humbled by) your encouragement! 😀 0 Reply Anna7 years agoAnnaOh dear Aine, I am without words in front of you. Thank you for what you say. 1 Reply Aine7 years agoAineThank you so much, Anna. Many blessings be in your road, my friend. 1 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Writing again here,( happy day,!) for daily gratitude; grateful living with chronic and now acute pain is another lesson that I have endured before, a familiar path, and have learned much about it over the past decade or more. I am going to write here for my community and pray I find some familiar names and folks here once again, as well as discover others of like mind who are new here. The key answer to the question always firstly, IS maintaining and finding gratitude,as it surrounds me. ... Writing again here,( happy day,!) for daily gratitude; grateful living with chronic and now acute pain is another lesson that I have endured before, a familiar path, and have learned much about it over the past decade or more. I am going to write here for my community and pray I find some familiar names and folks here once again, as well as discover others of like mind who are new here. The key answer to the question always firstly, IS maintaining and finding gratitude,as it surrounds me. Even if pain is worse, it is not limiting of my life that was not already . I want to share with others in doubt or question, that yes we can do and live our lives in some pain that is relieved through ex. my love of yoga, meditation, reading, writing, all healing. I am loving my life of yoga, spiritual awakening that is constant, and am so grateful to have the chance to be back in touch with the side of me that longs to live what I know, to practice it, on and off my mat that was getting a bit dusty though I am facing now days ahead where it may limit me more…. self-love, love of all others, service, helping others no matter how- will help me as well. Asking God daily, (and oh, yes there are many feathers, signs from my Angels to remember to do this), to guide me, bring me to self, so I may live a good life full of gratitude and service. We are challenged daily, whether it is pain, or something else. I know that my first appearance here again after months of not writing here, is actually writing about my own exact present life. It is profound, yet also familiar ,as I have many days of the spiritual touches, reminders, the odd phone call when thinking of that person, or meeting by chance of another I was about to find, seeing numbers 1111 or 3’s–it’s all an accepted and beloved part of my life with my belief and Faith, I am ever grateful for. This daily question is a great opening door to my other sharing writers here. Is anyone experiencing pain, are you having difficulty finding the purpose and lessons through it, and what and how can we be grateful and practice that life through these times? This is my beginning after months away from what was becoming my most desirable place to go and write, feeling safe, and within a group that developed a bit and was where I wanted to share , write, read, reply, connect with others. I am always grateful for this group, for the Gratefulness site, and for them opening new doors to connection to others. Briefly: after 5 incredible months without intense pain following sets of 2, 3 weeks apart, epidurals for this back in Nov., ’16, I now once again, must come to terms with and face the reality that my spine is creating much pain for me during the recent weeks. I must decide whether or not to go ahead and keep sharing symptoms with my doctor online, when to schedule epidurals if it is safe to do so now, and how to get things done around this house. I had not been writing due to our recent family and life decisions to sell our coastal house, which is sad yet still we go there , with or without a house there, traveling back and forth. We love our home on our farm , own a sailboat that we have had many incredible moments and passages upon, so I knew that next would come hard work that I needed much assistance with. It is hard for me to let go and allow others to follow instructions, to pack, help me as I love the part of design, so to stage the house, arrange it all is a joy; for and work ourselves to move most of the furniture and art to storage, or our farmhouse 2 1/2 hours away, where we now are living. The house is on the market; it is a great house, and we hope to be able to have someone come along who will love it as we first did. Much love, planning and designing, went into the home which we have been ever grateful for during the past 14 years. Now we turn our attention to dreaming of doing the same or similar amount of restoration with our 1940’s farmhouse, on 15 acres of land, that holds local history and sits upon a hill, with a pond, private driveway winding up a hill that is impossible to reach during ice storms, and we LOVE it. This is home, our children feel the same as we do. It is a longer story, I seem to over-do with lifting or reaching incorrectly, when we are in transition like this. The last time I endured such pain that would not leave for a month or more of treatment, I vowed and without judgement, would not harm my body by lifting things, moving things around alone, etc., and disrespect this as a promise to myself to prevent it from happening again. I know I have done very few things yet they could have been key in irritating the disc that rests on my Sciatic Nerve, in Lumbar Spine. I am used to constant, chronic spinal pain even though now, I must let go of the one thing that normally is my saving grace- yoga. It is P. T. and is also my beloved way of finding balance both within and without. Meditation is a large part of this practice, so I do know that it is possible even if one cannot bare to walk. Walking is something that is also contributing to this event of pain; I must be mindful, again I am grateful for this lesson of mindfulness as it will strengthen through doing it. Writing and finding time to rest a bit each day as I am supposed to be doing, will be heavenly if I allow it – I will, and I will practice acceptance, non-judgment, only let it be a huge lesson for me as I do not of course know when or where anything will happen that could be ten times worse. Blessings to and gratitude for all here. Namaste’ Read More5 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteDeb S, I am so thankful for hearing your touching story about your pain and suffering. Suffering has so much to teach us about life. Like you, meditation has helped me so much with constant pain. Yoga and mindfulness has made all the difference in the world. I’m happy you’re back with us. Peace and love, Antoinette 0 Reply Pilgrim7 years agoPilgrimDeb, I have watched for your return and am glad to find you here today! You are dealing with so much transition! Letting go of yoga at this time is a major thing for you. But you are attending to your need for limitations and self-care, even with so much change going on. May you find healing and wellness in this journey of letting go of one home to invest your lives in another. And welcome back! 2 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Hi , Pilgrim! It is like a beacon of hope and light in my day reading and hearing from you....many thanks for this --- I just saw it! I have thought of you during this time I took away from writing on Gratefulness as you are one person who always is present. It means more than you can know to hear from you. It is my life that you summed up so very well. I have more going on, as you probably can imagine that we all do, but you are right- I know my body and its' abilities as well as these limi... Hi , Pilgrim! It is like a beacon of hope and light in my day reading and hearing from you….many thanks for this — I just saw it! I have thought of you during this time I took away from writing on Gratefulness as you are one person who always is present. It means more than you can know to hear from you. It is my life that you summed up so very well. I have more going on, as you probably can imagine that we all do, but you are right- I know my body and its’ abilities as well as these limitations, and am able to accept it, processing everything which will keep me moving along as lessons await me, a beautiful garden is outside already that I may water, walk around, just not lifting things. I am always open to change, yet with pain it is honestly altered. I know that you understand. I love designing and planning, so that is something, as well as have a friend who is a designer that has helped us immensely with our beach home, alongside a contractor living in another city. Still he is great with trips up to us unless he is on the W coast w/ his aging parents who need his help building their new house! Now for me, it will be a return to writing, keeping up with you and others on this beautiful place to be heard and to listen, enjoy the surroundings of spring’s nature watching baby birds hearing them peep their first hatching day, and knowing they fledge always it seems when I am not at home- chickadees, wrens, both are and have done one round of this at my back door- I should post a photo I took of the chickadee’s choice of a red church-shaped home I hung that has a cross as the entry, it is too funny as I did not imagine they would make a nest so close to our patio. Sending you much love and gratitude today. With peace, Debbie Read More0 Reply Donna7 years agoDonnaGood Day dear soul. I am a new member to this site and i found you . We are alike tin so many ways. For one i am into mindfulness, mediation, and light yoga. I would love to be your friend. nameste Donna 0 Reply Anna7 years agoAnnaWelcome again dear Deb, I am sorry for your pain, that is so intense….and I admire you for your strength. Noticing your absence in Gratitude Lounge and here, I asked about you, some months ago. May you feel support and comfort in this community. 1 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Hi, Anna, and thank you! It is amazing the people like you, looking for me, and finding my first post! Amazing. Gratitude for you and for the ones here who share their lives, often bare their very souls, as we all are in this life together. I hope that you are doing well! I will catch up with each of you. My iPhone totally died this past week; was here at the farm w/ my son, and we celebrated Mothers' Day minus husband and the older son who is traveling in Japan, then all of the sudden it i... Hi, Anna, and thank you! It is amazing the people like you, looking for me, and finding my first post! Amazing. Gratitude for you and for the ones here who share their lives, often bare their very souls, as we all are in this life together. I hope that you are doing well! I will catch up with each of you. My iPhone totally died this past week; was here at the farm w/ my son, and we celebrated Mothers’ Day minus husband and the older son who is traveling in Japan, then all of the sudden it is all gone, photos were thank Heavens backed up to Hard Drive, I did not have my cloud working and doubt I will ever again as it failed as well. Anyway, nothing compared to the rest of my life! I am behind though and lost correspondence and contacts that will take time to retrieve/replace. Let me hear how you are, dear Anna, thank you again! Read More1 Reply Ben7 years agoBenThis is such a great question, and I find many helpful insights in what people have written here. I’ve had pain for 16 years now related to arthritis that developed as an aspect of Lyme Disease. Because I didn’t catch it early, the Lyme got into my nervous system and caused me intense nerve pain for about 3 years. While I still have arthritis, I’m very fortunate to have found healing for the nerve pain through IVIG medication and acupuncture. Pain has still been with me almost every ... This is such a great question, and I find many helpful insights in what people have written here. I’ve had pain for 16 years now related to arthritis that developed as an aspect of Lyme Disease. Because I didn’t catch it early, the Lyme got into my nervous system and caused me intense nerve pain for about 3 years. While I still have arthritis, I’m very fortunate to have found healing for the nerve pain through IVIG medication and acupuncture. Pain has still been with me almost every day to some degree, though, mostly in my spine (though every day I hope is the day it can change). When it’s strong and I can’t distract from it, I sometimes breathe into it and welcome the sensations lovingly, and a flood of tears move through me, and I see that the pain has given rise to a basic fear that somehow I don’t belong or am not cared for by life or the universe, and the tears are the expression of my body-heart-mind letting go of that belief. Then I find even with some level of pain (not always, but often), there can be this experience of a loving space within me naturally holding it. In those moments there’s a rediscovery of the aspect of my true nature that is a space of love and holding, which is a beautiful gift to be in touch with. Thank you for reading this long post today, anyone who took the time. Sending out loving holding-ness to any pains you’re carrying… <3 Read More8 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteDear Ben , Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry this happened to you . I hope you can find some relief from your suffering . I read something about physical pain and living with an illness the other day which helped me a lot. Maybe it will help you and maybe it won't. The main point about it was to not identify with or put a label on yourself as a sick person. Or one who has an illness or disease . It said the more we affiliate with and talk about it the more it grow... Dear Ben , Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry this happened to you . I hope you can find some relief from your suffering . I read something about physical pain and living with an illness the other day which helped me a lot. Maybe it will help you and maybe it won’t. The main point about it was to not identify with or put a label on yourself as a sick person. Or one who has an illness or disease . It said the more we affiliate with and talk about it the more it grows in energy. It was Echeart Tolle who wrote about how we identify with our pain and it was very helpful for me think about being carful about when I suffer from what I’m trying to heal that I almost turn my life into being the one who had this. So for me, I’m going to to give it a try and the next time anyone asks me about my issue I will cut the discussion short. I’m going to have a basic answer for everyone other than my doctors. That will be: “I’m progressing on my healing process.” Nothing more said and move on with it. I believe I can make must better, no matter what the neurologist says. It’s going to happen. Anyway, I’m not saying Of course that you by any means identify with the sickness. Clearly I have no way of knowing this about you. I simply found the view point interesting and wanted to throw it out there. Here is to the gratefulness of the healing process! May you be pain free. Read More1 Reply Mary7 years agoMaryDear Ben, I echo Anna. Your posts never seem long to me. You always come from your heart and I always feel like I am reading the thoughts and feelings of a dear friend whenever I read your sharings. I didn’t know you had Lyme Disease and am so sorry you have had to deal with this for so long. I don’t know that much about Lyme Disease but I can tell from what I have read, that it is very difficult and painful. Pain seems to be a given in life, doesn’t it. I think I grew up thinking eve... Dear Ben, I echo Anna. Your posts never seem long to me. You always come from your heart and I always feel like I am reading the thoughts and feelings of a dear friend whenever I read your sharings. I didn’t know you had Lyme Disease and am so sorry you have had to deal with this for so long. I don’t know that much about Lyme Disease but I can tell from what I have read, that it is very difficult and painful. Pain seems to be a given in life, doesn’t it. I think I grew up thinking everything was supposed to be ok and all pain and difficulties would just go away. I don’t think I have ever really accepted that pain is part of life. I think I have spent a lot of time in denial, insisting that pain and difficulties should not come about and that maybe it is my own fault when I get sick, depressed, or anxious. I think I have always tried to fight life in this way. (as if there is any point trying to fight with life). Starting from a place of gratitude and acceptance of what is, is such a radical departure from the way my mind would naturally process any kind of difficulty. I am so grateful for this website and all those who write in for helping me to view my life from a place of gratitude. I feel like I am still right at the beginning, just scratching the surface, often feeling anxious, and then remembering to be mindful and grateful. I continue to learn and forget and then relearn again how to live life in a positive, loving, and mindful way. I wish all good things for you, Ben, a man of such great caring, kindness and goodness. Your reflections and insights have always been meaningful to me. As you have sought out that loving space within yourself to hold your pain, I will look for that loving space within myself as well, that gentle accepting loving space to hold my own pain. I wish you many blessings, Ben. Much love, Mary Read More1 Reply Pilgrim7 years agoPilgrimYou write beautifully, Ben. Thank you for sharing your story here. I am always invited to new awareness or perspective when I read your posts. 1 Reply Aine7 years agoAineOh, Ben, I know that pain! I am healing from Lyme, too, that went undiagnosed for about 25 years. And acupuncture is part of my healing protocol, too. I don't know what I would do without my acupuncturist -- she is who first diagnosed me, which was backed up by the lab work. I am also working with a Lyme herbalist, and slowly but surely, I am healing. The pain has been slower to resolve than other aspects but is finally at a manageable level for the most part. I have my sights on having it ... Oh, Ben, I know that pain! I am healing from Lyme, too, that went undiagnosed for about 25 years. And acupuncture is part of my healing protocol, too. I don’t know what I would do without my acupuncturist — she is who first diagnosed me, which was backed up by the lab work. I am also working with a Lyme herbalist, and slowly but surely, I am healing. The pain has been slower to resolve than other aspects but is finally at a manageable level for the most part. I have my sights on having it gone, though, and I am currently undergoing a scalp acupuncture treatment taught by Dr. Jason Hao and Dr. Linda Hao in their book. They were sought out by Walter Reed Army Hospital to help veterans with pain issues, neuro issues, paralysis, and PTSD, and have had good success. I contacted them and Dr. Hao told me that he has had good success with Lyme as well, so we decided to try it. The technique helps the neuro pain damage from the Lyme resolve as well as the PTSD I have had for years. I agree with you that it is a gift to be able to learn to hold your pain with love. We so often run from it because it HURTS! There are many gifts though, even in the midst of pain. Wishing you many blessings and much healing in body and spirit. This is a long road, but it is also one that has been a teacher of deep things to me such that I do not label the Lyme as “bad,” although it is very difficult at times. Read More3 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Hi, Ben, beautifully written. The breathing into the pain, feeling emotion, is what I know is truth as others say the same to me- may I ask you what is IVIG medication? I do not recognize the abbreviation. Ben there are so many effected by Lymes it is incredibly frightening, and there are other diseases that sometimes go along with it as you know. My husband's sister in law was stricken badly, at a young age, soon after she had her two babies it seems , following a single tick when she was... Hi, Ben, beautifully written. The breathing into the pain, feeling emotion, is what I know is truth as others say the same to me- may I ask you what is IVIG medication? I do not recognize the abbreviation. Ben there are so many effected by Lymes it is incredibly frightening, and there are other diseases that sometimes go along with it as you know. My husband’s sister in law was stricken badly, at a young age, soon after she had her two babies it seems , following a single tick when she was traveling in Pa. I lived in N. J. for 4 years and did not know one family that was not effected by at least one incidence that seemed to last, beyond what doctors understood then, a long time. Thank you and hope you read my long post, lol, as well. I hear what you are saying about nature, it is a healing aspect surrounding me as I am on our farm. There are many ticks this year; we have all been bitten more than once in the past month. I do not fear yet check for them daily, remove them w/ alcohol, watch for any symptoms, and pray a lot. A lot of mowing is going on right now! Keeping the grass short, our pets clean and have preventative on, our own wearing of proper clothing and even Deet, yes I will do it, makes gardening the bit I am allowing myself to do can be a drag, but it’s impossible to enjoy outdoors without caution. I hope that we are healing as we read and write. Love to you, Light and smiles, healing from and through God and your Faith, always remember you are loved and protected- Debbie Read More2 Reply Aine7 years agoAineIt might be wise to get the ticks you remove tested, for peace of mind. If caught early, Lyme is more easily treated for many people. And if you see a bullseye rash or develop sudden flu symptoms after a bite, RUN to your nearest doctor and insist that you be treated with the appropriate length and type of antibiotic. A good many people never get the telltale rash (I didn't), but if you see it, that's a big indicator. As for prevention, we like arbico-organics beneficial nematodes for control... It might be wise to get the ticks you remove tested, for peace of mind. If caught early, Lyme is more easily treated for many people. And if you see a bullseye rash or develop sudden flu symptoms after a bite, RUN to your nearest doctor and insist that you be treated with the appropriate length and type of antibiotic. A good many people never get the telltale rash (I didn’t), but if you see it, that’s a big indicator. As for prevention, we like arbico-organics beneficial nematodes for control of fleas, ticks and other nasties. They are organic, non-toxic, and once they form a colony, they take care of the problem at the larval stage. We rarely have issues because we spray the beneficial nematodes on the yard and gardens where we or the dogs go. Oh, and also the chicken run. 😉 Read More1 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.That is new to me, so thank you so much for the yard area control for ticks and fleas. This is our yard we mow; the ticks are everywhere, but cannot control all 15 acres but I long for the pond to be clear, trimmed, at least of low-lying limbs and poison ivy, so that I may walk among the hardwoods, see the fish and turtles, water coming from the earth spring, add to my water lilies which are prolific and blooming early spring. BUT that being said, yes the ticks have no bulls eye effect and w... That is new to me, so thank you so much for the yard area control for ticks and fleas. This is our yard we mow; the ticks are everywhere, but cannot control all 15 acres but I long for the pond to be clear, trimmed, at least of low-lying limbs and poison ivy, so that I may walk among the hardwoods, see the fish and turtles, water coming from the earth spring, add to my water lilies which are prolific and blooming early spring. BUT that being said, yes the ticks have no bulls eye effect and we have lived here a long time off and on, when we lived in town for our kids to have good public schools- NC ranks low, like 48 on the whole nation’s rating, but our town, Chapel Hill, rates #1 in our state at least. 99.9% of all kids are graduated, teachers work hard, parents participate. Otherwise, they also love the COUNTRY- where our dogs stay close-by, kittie also, as do we, when barefoot or with jeans and boots and gardening w/ spray on our bodies! Not worth the chance, for sure. Thank you! Also, yes, I have put chickens and guinea hens on my list of desires for the farm- we never had a tick when we had them before, inherited them w/ the farm in N. J. for 4 years. Take care, watch those ticks, yes my husband had one bad reaction, it was a deer tick tiny, no talk of it really, and when he had meat, which I stopped eating a long time ago, we were driving to NCMHospital ER one night at 3 a.m., he could not breathe, having to find the lone pill in the whole house I had to bite it for him to be able to swallow it and it reduced the swelling til we got to the ER doors- weird reaction, the meat was a catalyst, we have lived w/ Benadryl and the shots of course for him everywhere since. Gradually he re-introduced chicken, then beef into his diet. His choice. We seem ok now. Bless you! Read More0 Reply Anna7 years agoAnnaFor me your posts are never long, dear Ben, because your words are always meaningful. 1 Reply Deb7 years agoDebI have lived with pain of one sort or another most of my 60 years of life. I learned that in my body there is always something working that does not hurt and I would feel that area not hurting. I learned in my mind there are pleasant dreams and memories to sustain my thinking. And sleep was always a blessing; a refuge when life was difficult and a celebration when it was not so hard. None of those practices solved the problem of pain, but it did allow me to have moments of relief which were bri... I have lived with pain of one sort or another most of my 60 years of life. I learned that in my body there is always something working that does not hurt and I would feel that area not hurting. I learned in my mind there are pleasant dreams and memories to sustain my thinking. And sleep was always a blessing; a refuge when life was difficult and a celebration when it was not so hard. None of those practices solved the problem of pain, but it did allow me to have moments of relief which were bridges to allow me to continue on the journey. It also cultivated a conscious sense of gratitude, which grew to become an integral part of my life. Read More5 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Deb, I feel sharing this is so loving and important for us. Support for others through our own experiences and through caring is vital. We need this time to reflect, realize we are loved and that life is a series of lessons- if not through pain, which for me has been going on since my late 40’s, then there are other ways. I realize that although I live with chronic arthritis due to my spine, the acute episodes are the most intensely changing , in good ways though the most painful, periods o... Deb, I feel sharing this is so loving and important for us. Support for others through our own experiences and through caring is vital. We need this time to reflect, realize we are loved and that life is a series of lessons- if not through pain, which for me has been going on since my late 40’s, then there are other ways. I realize that although I live with chronic arthritis due to my spine, the acute episodes are the most intensely changing , in good ways though the most painful, periods of my life. I have discovered so much about how to find something to take my mind away from the pain, while also recognizing it and knowing it is fine to do whatever it takes without self-judgement. No one can understand one’s own pain. We can understand our own and relate to each other at least. Those who suffer no pain are blessed, though hard as they may try it is also impossible for them to truly understand it. I hear many different things, but mainly it is the ignoring my reality of living with pain that hurts me the most. There is only opening of hearts that will cure this. As for we who are in pain, strengthen yourself in the knowledge that others do their best with what they can at that moment- (I am talking to myself now!). One of the most difficult aspects of pain day in and out is accepting it without allowing ourselves to suffer, nor languish in it. It is an incredible time as you say, to dream, sleep, find refuge, all of this is really good for me, as well….I am in the middle of changing homes, and am involved in most of the designing and planning. I will have more hands-on help w/ projects now. My back has limitations that are worsening yet I love this life. Thank God for support, for listening and understanding and for my husband, who brings me coffee first thing when he hears me awaken not knowing what kind of night I just had. He is my Earth Angel, we have been married for 36 years, and honestly both of us had such Faith and love from our first meeting on, that has been our support always. Now that we face challenges and losses, changes and for me, pain, I am not fearful- we are able to do what is intended, and will be aware and even more mindful of our blessings as we move forward. Bless you, good to see you again….I am grateful for you and for this space together, of writing, sharing, and reading. Namaste’ Read More1 Reply kathleen7 years agokathleenThe best I can do is set an intention to notice other people in need around me. Usually I can’t go out of my way for them but realizing that there is pain in the world connects me to others. I find it hard to be grateful. My first instinct is to comfort myself. Maybe I can start to be grateful that I have the ability to make myself better 5 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Kathleen, also note to love yourself daily without judgement, you are doing and living things that only you are creating and we all must find our way , if aware of it we have a lot to be grateful for each day even if it is just this site online. Or our roof, our bed, our knowledge that we are loved. Setting an intention to notice other people in need is a beautiful thing! Being open to the idea that you are capable of creating your life with choices that improve how you feel, establishing mor... Kathleen, also note to love yourself daily without judgement, you are doing and living things that only you are creating and we all must find our way , if aware of it we have a lot to be grateful for each day even if it is just this site online. Or our roof, our bed, our knowledge that we are loved. Setting an intention to notice other people in need is a beautiful thing! Being open to the idea that you are capable of creating your life with choices that improve how you feel, establishing more awareness, taking care of yourself, and perhaps writing even just one thing a day that you are grateful for is a great practice. Thank you for writing, and sharing. Love and Peace to you. Read More0 Reply Carol7 years agoCarolGood Morning, I awoke at 5 a.m. to the birds morning song outside my bedroom window. I walked into the living room and raised the roman shade to check on my Mourning Dove's nest and her two little ones. They are still there. The babies will be a week old tomorrow and will fly soon and I assume at least one will return to nest on my porch in a couple of months. Their Mama no longer reacts to human activity on the porch. She knows that she and her offspring are safe. It is a re-minder for me t... Good Morning, I awoke at 5 a.m. to the birds morning song outside my bedroom window. I walked into the living room and raised the roman shade to check on my Mourning Dove’s nest and her two little ones. They are still there. The babies will be a week old tomorrow and will fly soon and I assume at least one will return to nest on my porch in a couple of months. Their Mama no longer reacts to human activity on the porch. She knows that she and her offspring are safe. It is a re-minder for me that we all seem to re-quire RE-Minding, in one way or another. In my case, learning to trust myself has been a big challenge for me. I took my morning thyroid pill and returned to bed and did some breathing exercises to strengthen my left side as directed by the physical therapist. I re-minded myself how important it is for me to re-lax. I basically function in a “fight or flight” mode and seldom visit the comfort of the parasympathetic nervous system! It has taken a life time for me to understand that and I’m so very grateful. I set my intention for the day: RELAX I understand that “fight and flight” is not necessary BUT I REALIZE that it is automatic for me. It comes from a primitive part of my brain AND I’m learning to invite that impulse to RELAX. Acceptance of WHAT IS opens the door to WHAT CAN BE. “When you begin to understand [get REAL about] what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” Jiddu Krishnamurti Read More6 Reply Aine7 years agoAineI, too, have recently learned that most of my life has been spent in fight or flight. I am learning a new path now. Once I felt the difference in my body, it became a feeling I crave. That sense of openness, space, and peace is available to me. I have lately been doing a qi gong for stress relief DVD that has helped me be better able to access that feeling. I sure notice when I do not do it. Relaxing is so important for pain! Many blessings to you on your journey! 0 Reply Caroline7 years agoCarolineGood morning, Carol. This is beautiful. Thank you. 0 Reply Michael7 years agoMichaelit really took a flip of a switch allowing me to view pain and hurt as ways to get stronger. I understood as an athlete the concept of pushing thru pain to get stronger…it really is a similar concept in terms of my mind and emotions. I am grateful for the opportunities to become stronger. 3 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteI think that being grateful every moment takes being aware. We have to find that awareness no matter what, to be able to not fall into the trap of the ego. Yesterday night I had a really challenging time with my middle son. I feel disrespect and anger come iin between us. It’s times like this that I’m tested. I had to make a choice of how to be present with my son. Part of me wanted to show him what used to be called tough love, and the other part of me was hurt as well as, frustrated wit... I think that being grateful every moment takes being aware. We have to find that awareness no matter what, to be able to not fall into the trap of the ego. Yesterday night I had a really challenging time with my middle son. I feel disrespect and anger come iin between us. It’s times like this that I’m tested. I had to make a choice of how to be present with my son. Part of me wanted to show him what used to be called tough love, and the other part of me was hurt as well as, frustrated with the whole experience being a patent! Sometimes no matter how hard we try to communicate it’s like we are two ships sailing in the night! I love my son dearly, however I can’t seem to crack the wall around him. It is as if there is a defensive barrier betweeen is which he almost always guards with dear life. I doesn’t want to let me I. To his inner space. The harder I try the more we butt heads. Long story short, I’m not sure how to go about this relationship. Today after allowing myself some space from the issue, I realized that maybe the answer is to accept whatever the present moment brings and be grateful that we are in each other. I feel like I want to teach him about what I feel is important regarding a work ethic and respect, but not at the expense of losing him. I hope that this doesn’t mean I’m not being a push over parent by not teaching hard-core consequences, but I am fearful of what those consequences would bring to our relationship. It all seems to boil down to making someone see my point or being right in the end. Being right and view points are not more important than the value of loving relationships. I feel that in the end, love is what matters most to me and by being present to the moments that challenge me and allowing love to shine no matter what will be the rigjt way to move forward. This painful relationship is teaching me patience and unconditional love like no other. Read More6 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.Beautiful, dear Antoinette- love is the key always. You are right, keep loving and accepting him, listening, and with an open heart. Listening to our children is the challenge that we all need to really take a closer look at as we hear so many things about how to raise them, and school is probably a good example of why so many come out not knowing a lot, nor feeling loved by many others, and even feeling like failures as they have not learned how to excel and love themselves. THIS is our job!... Beautiful, dear Antoinette- love is the key always. You are right, keep loving and accepting him, listening, and with an open heart. Listening to our children is the challenge that we all need to really take a closer look at as we hear so many things about how to raise them, and school is probably a good example of why so many come out not knowing a lot, nor feeling loved by many others, and even feeling like failures as they have not learned how to excel and love themselves. THIS is our job! I hear what you are saying, and it is true for us all. We are too tuned in to what others say and expect- life is precious. He is in a stage that my sons have been in, yet who are older I imagine than yours’ but it never is too different just based on different people and where they are, what is causing it, etc. I tell the one home now, from college for part of the summer, that he has such great compassion for others, his strengths are beautiful as he is a solid, balanced good guy and to his friends- sometimes to the point where he has to learn lessons about his choices- but this is not unusual for him. I love him, hold my family as THE most important part of my life, as we are all intended to do. He has CAPD, he is excelling in his major that he loves and wants to finish w/ his degree this year, I am so proud of him!! When he was initially diagnosed, I knew what was to be in life and difficulties and challenges- I have always, along with my husband, have been his advocate through every level of school, in every classroom and without him losing his self-esteem, I pray. I never was over-protective, yet as parents, one must always always be involved in a way appropriate to a child’s age, thus no surprises and even though he may have some kind of life now he wants you to not be involved with, I see it as perhaps a time to leave behind self-judgement, if you do have a God as I do with Faith ask for assistance, guidance, and forge forward in a way it appears that he will accept and uncover what could be going on with him. My oldest left without a personal goodbye, yes he had an idyllic childhood, we were both strong and loving parents, etc., I could write a book, and may one day…these kids are often able to recreate their own childhoods, I have learned, we have been in therapy as well as me, on my own, and learned that it is not as unusual as we think…after a beautiful life, graduations, college even also CAPD, with Dad and I always by him throughout any thing he needed and asked for help in, and sometimes we took the step forward knowing it was right….never give up on your intuition! And love…Best to you, love him always yes! No tough love, only open heart and mind as I can see you have- I would give anything if my son was home, talking to me once again, with understanding and mutual listening and hearing, and talking. Peace. Read More1 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteThank you so much Deb! It’s very kind of you to open up and tell your heart felt sorry. It’s amazing how much being with people and relationships can tech us about ourselves and what we think. I’m so happy I led by my heart. I let go of fear and it was the right thing to do. I trusted myself to be authentic with him. 0 Reply Deb7 years agoDebI understand your dilemma, Antoinette. You are wise to allow yourself a bit of space and time. My working definition of love is that it does what is in the best interests of the beloved. Sometimes you are the lover, sometimes you are the beloved, sometimes you are both. Parenting is difficult and no matter what you do, he may not remember with any degree of accuracy what actually transpired. You are being present, wanting to respond in and with love. Respond with love and do and say what you wi... I understand your dilemma, Antoinette. You are wise to allow yourself a bit of space and time. My working definition of love is that it does what is in the best interests of the beloved. Sometimes you are the lover, sometimes you are the beloved, sometimes you are both. Parenting is difficult and no matter what you do, he may not remember with any degree of accuracy what actually transpired. You are being present, wanting to respond in and with love. Respond with love and do and say what you will with what you can accept and live with integrity and peace within yourself. Blessings of peace, perseverance and good cheer be yours as you continue your day. Deb Read More2 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteThank you Deb. It’s been a really good day and it has made alm the difference. Life has its ups and downs. I can’t even express with words how overjoyed I am with love. What a gift it is. It’s good to share all of it with you all! Thank you so much for caring. 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineI love your working definition of love!! 1 Reply Malag7 years agoMalagJust at this moment I am in the presence of pain of another, my senior dog. He’s on plenty of meds which is enough for him to enjoy the last of his retirement. Still loves his food but he’s no spring chicken. 5 Reply Aine7 years agoAineAh, yes…we have a fifteen and a half year old much loved Springer Spaniel here. It is so hard to watch her age, but she, too, is still enjoying her life at the level she can live it. So long as that is true, we will clean up the messes and walk beside her to the end. And every time I think that crazy dog is just about near the end, she does something to show she’s still got it. Yesterday it was snarling and barking at our largest and youngest dog when he dared try to drink out of the water... Ah, yes…we have a fifteen and a half year old much loved Springer Spaniel here. It is so hard to watch her age, but she, too, is still enjoying her life at the level she can live it. So long as that is true, we will clean up the messes and walk beside her to the end. And every time I think that crazy dog is just about near the end, she does something to show she’s still got it. Yesterday it was snarling and barking at our largest and youngest dog when he dared try to drink out of the water bowl at the same time as her. He weighs over twice as much as she does and is about 13 1/2 years younger! The Queen had her way, though, and he stood like a fuzzy statue until she was done! Read More2 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteOur dog is also getting up there in age. It’s a challenge to let go of the people and pets we love. 2 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinIf ever there was a perfect question for me, this is it! I am ten days away from finally having back surgery (laminectemy with fusion for L3, L4 and L5) I have been living with and managing chronic lower back pain with every kind of treatment for almost eight years. And as long as the recovery is expected to be, I am looking forward to relief down the road. Remaining positive, upbeat and grateful through it all has been the most challenging thing to manage, actually. Because when I allow myse... If ever there was a perfect question for me, this is it! I am ten days away from finally having back surgery (laminectemy with fusion for L3, L4 and L5) I have been living with and managing chronic lower back pain with every kind of treatment for almost eight years. And as long as the recovery is expected to be, I am looking forward to relief down the road. Remaining positive, upbeat and grateful through it all has been the most challenging thing to manage, actually. Because when I allow myself to slide into discouragement not only does it impact my relationships with those around me, it deminishes my creativity with my writing and protography. But to answer today’s question, for me, practicing a measure of grateful living while living with pain has required prayer, meditation, listening to what the pain is telling me and remembering that I am feeling pain because I am alive, still, and that is the greatest gift that there is. _ Kevin Read More7 Reply Deb S. N.C.7 years agoDeb S. N.C.I will be so thinking of you, Kevin, I know that you will be fine, and it seems to be the best choice you have before you...do you mind if I know which day and time it is scheduled? If ok, I would love to send you and your team, healing through only positive as I open my heart and soul to God and Angels,and that they will provide you and your Dr. & staff, strength, courage, compassion, healing, maintaining your anticipation of a day that you are feeling no or less pain. That is the same a... I will be so thinking of you, Kevin, I know that you will be fine, and it seems to be the best choice you have before you…do you mind if I know which day and time it is scheduled? If ok, I would love to send you and your team, healing through only positive as I open my heart and soul to God and Angels,and that they will provide you and your Dr. & staff, strength, courage, compassion, healing, maintaining your anticipation of a day that you are feeling no or less pain. That is the same area that is my “problem child”, yet any doctor that has read my MRI’s, taken care of me for some time, (choice would be my neurosurgeon because he is a top surgeon, spines and brains only), if I do require surgery one day- it would probably be in my upper back, the Lumbar is pretty much set as is)- it’s great to hear your solution is possible; I can’t imagine that if this has been writer and creativity block due to pain this past year or so what you may be like when you are free!!! Write me, love and muchmuch of it and healing as you know….I will be praying for you dear one, who everyone here seems to love…..xoxoxo Read More0 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinHello Deb, thank you for your kind and affirming words here. My surgery time is scheduled for Tuesday, May 30 at 7:30 AM at the Brigham and Woman’s Hospital in Boston, MA. Your thoughts, prayers and healing energy sent that way are great appreciated as I firm’y believe and have witnessed how energy delivered has worked before. My very best to you as well on this fine springtime day here in the NE US. 0 Reply Mary7 years agoMaryI will pray for you, also your surgeon, the nurses, and all people involved in your surgery. I will put this on my calendar and send love and prayer to you throuout the day. It feels to me that this is going to be a really good thing for you Kevin! Much love, Mary 0 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinThanks very, very much, Your thoughtful comments and prayers are indeed a gift I will take with me into surgery next Tuesday! I think that getting this surgery done will, in time, be a very good thing. At least I am hopeful that it will be. My best to you. Thanks again! 0 Reply Aine7 years agoAineMany blessings on your surgery and recovery and ultimate pain free life, Kevin! Just think…you’ll be able to lean over to get those macro shots in a relatively short time! 😀 0 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinYou are so 100% right, Aine! Those kinds of positions are the most painful these days to try and get to! 0 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteCount down to feeling like a new and better you! Good luck Kevin ! 1 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinThanks, Antoinette, it does feel like a countdown…and I’d move the hands of the clock faster if I could! 0 Reply Malag7 years agoMalagBest wishes, Kevin. I hope the op gets you some relief 1 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinThank you, Malag. 0 Reply My Private Gratitude Journal Write an entry in your private gratefulness journal Get Started This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. All donations are fully tax deductible in the U.S.A. CONTRIBUTE https://demo.gratefulness.org/content/uploads/2015/03/GX-Gold-Participant-L.png Community Engagement Guidelines Privacy Policy [email protected] Connect with us on Social Media: © 2000 - 2024, A Network for Grateful Living Website by Briteweb