If I take full responsibility for my part in any difficulties, how would this change things?

Mary,

I can hear your question but I do not wish to presume I “get” it completely because this sort of discussion requires a certain amount of communication ( back and forth if necessary ) to establish a common ground meaning of words related to the “what/who” are the layers of interaction in any Human communication.

You said….”Your answer actually makes sense to me, but when I get specific,…..”

That is why I included the term “Higher Self” here, I was being “specific” too. Specific because I intended to make a clear identification in to what / who is involved in Human interactions.

1) there is the egoism of the Present Day personality, the one who can have various reactions ….from “I contributed to this “problem” therefore I must apologize, I must correct it / contribute to correcting the problem, etc etc.” Or it can react from the opposite end …the , “I was right!! they were wrong Etc Etc”

2) Then there is your Higher Self which doesn’t make condemning judgments of, nor want to correct, the egoism’s behavior, for altruistic reasons, or because the egoism just wants to play the moral high ground. Nor does 2) wish to judge others for their 1) type behavior, it recognizes that behavior as “unconscious” and not the other’s “2) –ness” at all.

In your question, “Am I not responsible for being harsh with this person”

My response has to be ….firstly, every Human is a “Dual in One- Being-ness” we are both the 1) and the 2) , and 1) is but a small ray emanating out from 2) . So I continue the reply that …..yes, you could be VERY responsible …depending on which part of your self is doing the responding. Is it from 1) or from 2) ?

If you consciously make the wish to communicate to the other person(s) through your “2)-ness”, and carry through with a sincere apology then, true, you have carried out a “responsibility” as a Human being …but I want to continue here to your next question because it is very important.

Re your: “I would think that I would owe this person an apology.”

Well that would be a position-ality which 1) would take. How does the egoism know that the other person requires an “apology”? It could be very possible that he/she accepted ( right away or later while he/she did their own introspection on the matter) that you were “angry” therefore NOT you in your “2)-ness”. They could have been, ( as it is so commonly expressed in current spiritual terms ) “Present” in their being-ness and not offended at all.

I will stop here, I tend to get too wordy of this subject, but it is a very important topic for sure. It was around when Hafiz wrote his cleaver poem so we are not in new territory that is for sure!!

Be Well Be Present

EdS