We are all born unique, which means there is always a difference, and at the same time, the source is the same. To me it is about respect and having the courage to set boundaries, lovingly
With gratefulness and love for the beauty and uniqueness that each "other" is. With respect for the difficulties each one has to face and to overcome, and with an open heart to embrace all which is.
Sorry that I needed to be off for some time, and may be the reason was that I excluded myself through excluding. Work in process now. With gratefulness for all your comments which help so much to become aware more of what is essential. Have a good day all you visible or invisible people who join he...
With gratefulness and love for the beauty and uniqueness that each “other” is. With respect for the difficulties each one has to face and to overcome, and with an open heart to embrace all which is.
Sorry that I needed to be off for some time, and may be the reason was that I excluded myself through excluding. Work in process now. With gratefulness for all your comments which help so much to become aware more of what is essential. Have a good day all you visible or invisible people who join here, and thank you so much.
I don't know that difference always brings gifts. Always?? That being said, I am not looking to include more people in my life right now. When I retired at the beginning of the year, I made a conscious decision to "go quiet." I have not sought new people or experiences, joined any groups, added any classes or projects, etc. This decision is for the sole purpose of getting to know myself as I am right now in my life. To listen and hear from myself after years of listening, serving, busyness, full...
I don’t know that difference always brings gifts. Always?? That being said, I am not looking to include more people in my life right now. When I retired at the beginning of the year, I made a conscious decision to “go quiet.” I have not sought new people or experiences, joined any groups, added any classes or projects, etc. This decision is for the sole purpose of getting to know myself as I am right now in my life. To listen and hear from myself after years of listening, serving, busyness, full and crazy schedules through my work/ministries. I am not finished being not-tired, or quiet, or listening to myself. I have taken small steps in self-care and -compassion. Maybe I am the person I have been excluding, and am ready to include and to know?? You have been a kind, gracious and safe community in which to do this. Many thanks.
Dear Pilgrim, as always, your answer is so wise, and I like it in a special way.
I was not here yesterday, and today it has been a busy Saturday. I would like to share something about this question, with you and also other people, but I am late,, I think that I will write something in the Gratitude Lounge, because I don’t want to take advantage of this space.
That’s a great way of looking at this question. Yes, we are the ones we so often exclude, or have excluded, but with Love and compassion we can learn to let ourselves in a little more each day. Thank you.
I live in a different part of the world than where I was born and raised. My mother lived in three different countries, on three different continents - three different cultures. So, I grew up and still live being accepting towards others who are different.
One of my childhood friends was a different race/color/culture/religion than me. We vowed that we would always be friends and be open and friendly to those who are different than us. Sadly, our parents could not break through those differen...
I live in a different part of the world than where I was born and raised. My mother lived in three different countries, on three different continents – three different cultures. So, I grew up and still live being accepting towards others who are different.
One of my childhood friends was a different race/color/culture/religion than me. We vowed that we would always be friends and be open and friendly to those who are different than us. Sadly, our parents could not break through those differences, especially her parents. We lost connect with each other many years ago but I have not forgotten our vow and promise to each other that we would reach out to others who are indeed different than us.
I appreciate so many wise reflections. With Patjos
and Amor Fati’s caution and higher or awakened consciousness, I would add patience, openness and courage.
Also to start small, ideally within and extending out from relationships, communities activities I am already a part of, as Kevin suggests.
If I “normally exclude” someone it is for good reason. I have been overly inclusive at times in my life, creating dangerous situations.
I find growth for all is achieved when I freely share the gifts of higher consciousness I have worked for with those who want what I have and seek my experience, strength and hope……….
and I gratefully seek and accept new lessons from those of higher consciousness who have already passed before me on the journey.
This does not stop me from freely ...
If I “normally exclude” someone it is for good reason. I have been overly inclusive at times in my life, creating dangerous situations.
I find growth for all is achieved when I freely share the gifts of higher consciousness I have worked for with those who want what I have and seek my experience, strength and hope……….
and I gratefully seek and accept new lessons from those of higher consciousness who have already passed before me on the journey.
This does not stop me from freely sharing goods and opportunity with all.
All paths are connected, but each is unique.
Risk being earnest. Commit to yourself. Don’t lose sight of who you are by being tempted to meet other people’s expectations. People will appreciate your honesty. If they don’t, you’ll have your integrity to carry you along.
I have no idea. By remaining non-judgmental. I don’t think I am going to actively go around looking for people to include, as I don’t feel I am deliberately excluding anyone I guess is the way I feel about this.
Hmmm, any Trump fans out there? I tend to want to hang out w/people like me – animal-loving liberals, I guess I would call myself. But labels are always limiting. Truth is, I would love to have a serious discussion with a diehard conservative Republican about politics, or an Evangelical about religion. I need to get out of my bubble.
Unfortunately, someone I exclude from my life a lot is my mother. Not as in I don't see her, I see her all the time. But our relationship whilst I was growing up and since then has been turbulent. She is a very negative and pessimistic woman due to experiencing quite a lot of hardship during life...therefore takes a completely different outlook on things than I do. It can be hard to remain positive around her and I get very frustrated at times as i'm very much a keep positive regardless of the ...
Unfortunately, someone I exclude from my life a lot is my mother. Not as in I don’t see her, I see her all the time. But our relationship whilst I was growing up and since then has been turbulent. She is a very negative and pessimistic woman due to experiencing quite a lot of hardship during life…therefore takes a completely different outlook on things than I do. It can be hard to remain positive around her and I get very frustrated at times as i’m very much a keep positive regardless of the situation and outcome person. Saying all this, she is a lovely woman and all her negative points come from a place of pain. And I love her and cherish her, no matter how hard it is to show her.
Because of our relationship as I grew up, I learnt to emotionally disconnect and put up an emotional barrier to her which makes our conversations and interactions slightly awkward. But I must try and overcome this, for both of our benefits. I will include her in as much as I can.
Your response proves that you have indeed given this vital relationship much earnest thought and you are really trying to be fair to both you and your mother. I do not doubt that you will succeed.
piercing and needed question for me. thank you! I need to dialogue with and find ways to move forward with different ideology people. I agree with Kevin that I don’t intentionally exclude anyone. however, I feel I definitely need to seek out those w differing views, etc… as a way to grow and “grow others”.
excluding people from my life has been, and is a very difficult goal for me. It takes a lot of courage on my part. I reach a point of being nothing more than a doormat for this person. I am the one who accepted and allowed this treatment. Only I can put distance from these people. The difference of how I live now without these people is my gift to myself. When God shuts a door to some people in your life, why would you want them back in your life? Not all gifts are for other people.
Kit, I never forget that Jesus himself said, “Cast not your pearls before swine.” I take that to mean exactly what you wrote – “not all gifts are for other people.” I appreciate the frankness of your reply.
This is an interesting question that uses, in my view, a broad-brush assumption of how gifts come into our lives. I get the premise and the type of answer the question is attempting to point us towards. But for myself, I usually choose to associate and build connections with people who share similar values and interests as my own. (Isn’t this why most of us enjoy being on this site?) That’s just human nature. If I have ever “excluded” anyone from my circle of acquaintances it is because ...
This is an interesting question that uses, in my view, a broad-brush assumption of how gifts come into our lives. I get the premise and the type of answer the question is attempting to point us towards. But for myself, I usually choose to associate and build connections with people who share similar values and interests as my own. (Isn’t this why most of us enjoy being on this site?) That’s just human nature. If I have ever “excluded” anyone from my circle of acquaintances it is because their behavior or values, in my view, are an affront, if not a threat, to the norms of behavior or social decorum that I have chosen to live my life by. Is that a judgment on my part? Indeed it is. I sometimes interact for brief periods of time with people whose lifestyle and values are opposite of my own, and I might even enjoy it, though briefly. But it doesn’t mean that I bring them into the core of my life and being because I am expecting them to bring me some kind of a “gift.” I think that’s unrealistic, if not silly.
With that said, I try to be on the lookout for new kinds of experiences and ones that involve people that widen my circle and interactions that get me out of my usual comfort zone. I am blessed with a rich and full life that includes many people, so it is easy for me not to intentionally widen my circle. This, as I see it, is a gift that can be limiting, too. When my routines and people-circle does expand, it typically happens around areas of doing service work, faith exploration, pursuing musical interests or undertaking political action of some kind. And even this has a ring of commonality to it of which we all seem to seek, does it not?
– Kevin
Thanks for answering so thoroughly, it helped me to get started with this difficult question. As you say, we usually have valid reasons for excluding others. To include them might cause us some measure of hurt, we become vulnerable.
that commonality being that we are all connected and we are all connected to mother earth...does not feel like a gift at times but a lot of discord
so I can agree that expanding is not always desirable...difference is always about us and them, we really do live in a xenophobic world, as the quote suggests, it is very difficult to be yourself for fear of being labelled, the other...
I think it is time for all to re-examine and start thinking" both and"....
there is room for both different an...
that commonality being that we are all connected and we are all connected to mother earth…does not feel like a gift at times but a lot of discord
so I can agree that expanding is not always desirable…difference is always about us and them, we really do live in a xenophobic world, as the quote suggests, it is very difficult to be yourself for fear of being labelled, the other…
I think it is time for all to re-examine and start thinking” both and”….
there is room for both different and what is perceived is not different….I just am not sure how we are going to get there but I am pretty sure our survival depends on it.
We need some boundaries as some people are excluded from our life for good reason. But with most there’s no really good reason. Sometimes people are excluded for bullying reasons which needs some bravery to break the group’s code. I guess it starts with an “hello”.
I allow the universe to exclude those I should not come in contact with. I think if we come into contact with someone, it is because we are meant to. As for creating a boundary, I’m fine with trusting the nation’s system of law to do that for me if it needs be done. How can I willingly create a boundary excluding a fellow human being otherwise?
Thank you so much for saying this. I have been in this situation before and I’m coming out of a dark place. It’s like the rebirth of life. It’s what brother David says that anxiety is from. Anxiety is part of life but fear destroys it . It takes courage to know how to pick ourselves up and keep going. Today my intention is to allow anxiety to be with me and walk with it hand and hand knowing I’m full of courage and love. I trust life.
Thanks for listening.
I value your words here, Antoinette. And I pray that your days become lighter and lighter. And while I too trust life, I do so also knowing where it harbors its shadows. Wishing you a Light-filled day my friend.
We are all born unique, which means there is always a difference, and at the same time, the source is the same. To me it is about respect and having the courage to set boundaries, lovingly
I completely agree with you Palm!
With gratefulness and love for the beauty and uniqueness that each "other" is. With respect for the difficulties each one has to face and to overcome, and with an open heart to embrace all which is.
Sorry that I needed to be off for some time, and may be the reason was that I excluded myself through excluding. Work in process now. With gratefulness for all your comments which help so much to become aware more of what is essential. Have a good day all you visible or invisible people who join he...
With gratefulness and love for the beauty and uniqueness that each “other” is. With respect for the difficulties each one has to face and to overcome, and with an open heart to embrace all which is.
Sorry that I needed to be off for some time, and may be the reason was that I excluded myself through excluding. Work in process now. With gratefulness for all your comments which help so much to become aware more of what is essential. Have a good day all you visible or invisible people who join here, and thank you so much.
I suppose listening and being open
I don't know that difference always brings gifts. Always?? That being said, I am not looking to include more people in my life right now. When I retired at the beginning of the year, I made a conscious decision to "go quiet." I have not sought new people or experiences, joined any groups, added any classes or projects, etc. This decision is for the sole purpose of getting to know myself as I am right now in my life. To listen and hear from myself after years of listening, serving, busyness, full...
I don’t know that difference always brings gifts. Always?? That being said, I am not looking to include more people in my life right now. When I retired at the beginning of the year, I made a conscious decision to “go quiet.” I have not sought new people or experiences, joined any groups, added any classes or projects, etc. This decision is for the sole purpose of getting to know myself as I am right now in my life. To listen and hear from myself after years of listening, serving, busyness, full and crazy schedules through my work/ministries. I am not finished being not-tired, or quiet, or listening to myself. I have taken small steps in self-care and -compassion. Maybe I am the person I have been excluding, and am ready to include and to know?? You have been a kind, gracious and safe community in which to do this. Many thanks.
Dear Pilgrim, as always, your answer is so wise, and I like it in a special way.
I was not here yesterday, and today it has been a busy Saturday. I would like to share something about this question, with you and also other people, but I am late,, I think that I will write something in the Gratitude Lounge, because I don’t want to take advantage of this space.
I like that thought, Pilgrim, that the exclusion could be of oneself. How easy it is to cut ourselves off from compassion to self.
That’s a great way of looking at this question. Yes, we are the ones we so often exclude, or have excluded, but with Love and compassion we can learn to let ourselves in a little more each day. Thank you.
I live in a different part of the world than where I was born and raised. My mother lived in three different countries, on three different continents - three different cultures. So, I grew up and still live being accepting towards others who are different.
One of my childhood friends was a different race/color/culture/religion than me. We vowed that we would always be friends and be open and friendly to those who are different than us. Sadly, our parents could not break through those differen...
I live in a different part of the world than where I was born and raised. My mother lived in three different countries, on three different continents – three different cultures. So, I grew up and still live being accepting towards others who are different.
One of my childhood friends was a different race/color/culture/religion than me. We vowed that we would always be friends and be open and friendly to those who are different than us. Sadly, our parents could not break through those differences, especially her parents. We lost connect with each other many years ago but I have not forgotten our vow and promise to each other that we would reach out to others who are indeed different than us.
Sounds like your hearts are still truly connected. :)))
I appreciate so many wise reflections. With Patjos
and Amor Fati’s caution and higher or awakened consciousness, I would add patience, openness and courage.
Also to start small, ideally within and extending out from relationships, communities activities I am already a part of, as Kevin suggests.
Yes, and there’s absolutely no rush to get anywhere in any case :))) Baby steps will always be enough for me I think! :)))
Yes????
If I “normally exclude” someone it is for good reason. I have been overly inclusive at times in my life, creating dangerous situations.
I find growth for all is achieved when I freely share the gifts of higher consciousness I have worked for with those who want what I have and seek my experience, strength and hope……….
and I gratefully seek and accept new lessons from those of higher consciousness who have already passed before me on the journey.
This does not stop me from freely ...
If I “normally exclude” someone it is for good reason. I have been overly inclusive at times in my life, creating dangerous situations.
I find growth for all is achieved when I freely share the gifts of higher consciousness I have worked for with those who want what I have and seek my experience, strength and hope……….
and I gratefully seek and accept new lessons from those of higher consciousness who have already passed before me on the journey.
This does not stop me from freely sharing goods and opportunity with all.
All paths are connected, but each is unique.
Risk being earnest. Commit to yourself. Don’t lose sight of who you are by being tempted to meet other people’s expectations. People will appreciate your honesty. If they don’t, you’ll have your integrity to carry you along.
Well put!
I have no idea. By remaining non-judgmental. I don’t think I am going to actively go around looking for people to include, as I don’t feel I am deliberately excluding anyone I guess is the way I feel about this.
…cautiously, is the short answer for me
Yes ????
Hmmm, any Trump fans out there? I tend to want to hang out w/people like me – animal-loving liberals, I guess I would call myself. But labels are always limiting. Truth is, I would love to have a serious discussion with a diehard conservative Republican about politics, or an Evangelical about religion. I need to get out of my bubble.
????
Unfortunately, someone I exclude from my life a lot is my mother. Not as in I don't see her, I see her all the time. But our relationship whilst I was growing up and since then has been turbulent. She is a very negative and pessimistic woman due to experiencing quite a lot of hardship during life...therefore takes a completely different outlook on things than I do. It can be hard to remain positive around her and I get very frustrated at times as i'm very much a keep positive regardless of the ...
Unfortunately, someone I exclude from my life a lot is my mother. Not as in I don’t see her, I see her all the time. But our relationship whilst I was growing up and since then has been turbulent. She is a very negative and pessimistic woman due to experiencing quite a lot of hardship during life…therefore takes a completely different outlook on things than I do. It can be hard to remain positive around her and I get very frustrated at times as i’m very much a keep positive regardless of the situation and outcome person. Saying all this, she is a lovely woman and all her negative points come from a place of pain. And I love her and cherish her, no matter how hard it is to show her.
Because of our relationship as I grew up, I learnt to emotionally disconnect and put up an emotional barrier to her which makes our conversations and interactions slightly awkward. But I must try and overcome this, for both of our benefits. I will include her in as much as I can.
Your response proves that you have indeed given this vital relationship much earnest thought and you are really trying to be fair to both you and your mother. I do not doubt that you will succeed.
piercing and needed question for me. thank you! I need to dialogue with and find ways to move forward with different ideology people. I agree with Kevin that I don’t intentionally exclude anyone. however, I feel I definitely need to seek out those w differing views, etc… as a way to grow and “grow others”.
excluding people from my life has been, and is a very difficult goal for me. It takes a lot of courage on my part. I reach a point of being nothing more than a doormat for this person. I am the one who accepted and allowed this treatment. Only I can put distance from these people. The difference of how I live now without these people is my gift to myself. When God shuts a door to some people in your life, why would you want them back in your life? Not all gifts are for other people.
Kit, I never forget that Jesus himself said, “Cast not your pearls before swine.” I take that to mean exactly what you wrote – “not all gifts are for other people.” I appreciate the frankness of your reply.
Thank you Francine
This is an interesting question that uses, in my view, a broad-brush assumption of how gifts come into our lives. I get the premise and the type of answer the question is attempting to point us towards. But for myself, I usually choose to associate and build connections with people who share similar values and interests as my own. (Isn’t this why most of us enjoy being on this site?) That’s just human nature. If I have ever “excluded” anyone from my circle of acquaintances it is because ...
This is an interesting question that uses, in my view, a broad-brush assumption of how gifts come into our lives. I get the premise and the type of answer the question is attempting to point us towards. But for myself, I usually choose to associate and build connections with people who share similar values and interests as my own. (Isn’t this why most of us enjoy being on this site?) That’s just human nature. If I have ever “excluded” anyone from my circle of acquaintances it is because their behavior or values, in my view, are an affront, if not a threat, to the norms of behavior or social decorum that I have chosen to live my life by. Is that a judgment on my part? Indeed it is. I sometimes interact for brief periods of time with people whose lifestyle and values are opposite of my own, and I might even enjoy it, though briefly. But it doesn’t mean that I bring them into the core of my life and being because I am expecting them to bring me some kind of a “gift.” I think that’s unrealistic, if not silly.
With that said, I try to be on the lookout for new kinds of experiences and ones that involve people that widen my circle and interactions that get me out of my usual comfort zone. I am blessed with a rich and full life that includes many people, so it is easy for me not to intentionally widen my circle. This, as I see it, is a gift that can be limiting, too. When my routines and people-circle does expand, it typically happens around areas of doing service work, faith exploration, pursuing musical interests or undertaking political action of some kind. And even this has a ring of commonality to it of which we all seem to seek, does it not?
– Kevin
Thanks for answering so thoroughly, it helped me to get started with this difficult question. As you say, we usually have valid reasons for excluding others. To include them might cause us some measure of hurt, we become vulnerable.
that commonality being that we are all connected and we are all connected to mother earth...does not feel like a gift at times but a lot of discord
so I can agree that expanding is not always desirable...difference is always about us and them, we really do live in a xenophobic world, as the quote suggests, it is very difficult to be yourself for fear of being labelled, the other...
I think it is time for all to re-examine and start thinking" both and"....
there is room for both different an...
that commonality being that we are all connected and we are all connected to mother earth…does not feel like a gift at times but a lot of discord
so I can agree that expanding is not always desirable…difference is always about us and them, we really do live in a xenophobic world, as the quote suggests, it is very difficult to be yourself for fear of being labelled, the other…
I think it is time for all to re-examine and start thinking” both and”….
there is room for both different and what is perceived is not different….I just am not sure how we are going to get there but I am pretty sure our survival depends on it.
I hope that I can smile today and feel joy for this new day. I will welcome everyone.
We need some boundaries as some people are excluded from our life for good reason. But with most there’s no really good reason. Sometimes people are excluded for bullying reasons which needs some bravery to break the group’s code. I guess it starts with an “hello”.
Thank you for bringing up motivation. The examination of WHY I am excluding someone can bring me a gift of self-knowledge.
I allow the universe to exclude those I should not come in contact with. I think if we come into contact with someone, it is because we are meant to. As for creating a boundary, I’m fine with trusting the nation’s system of law to do that for me if it needs be done. How can I willingly create a boundary excluding a fellow human being otherwise?
Thank you so much for saying this. I have been in this situation before and I’m coming out of a dark place. It’s like the rebirth of life. It’s what brother David says that anxiety is from. Anxiety is part of life but fear destroys it . It takes courage to know how to pick ourselves up and keep going. Today my intention is to allow anxiety to be with me and walk with it hand and hand knowing I’m full of courage and love. I trust life.
Thanks for listening.
I value your words here, Antoinette. And I pray that your days become lighter and lighter. And while I too trust life, I do so also knowing where it harbors its shadows. Wishing you a Light-filled day my friend.
Thank you so much for your kindness Kevin. I appreciate the support.
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