Daily Question, October 30 What am I willing to let go of in order to be a little more free and/or happy? 28 Reflections Share Click here to cancel reply.Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment. Notify me when someone replies to my comment via e-mail. Gina7 years agoGinaoh, letting go of so much to be happy and ultimately free…..so much…. in the end, there will only be what is not possible to let go of but there will be fear, so fear is what I like go of and trust, have faith what is most important in the end will likely not be anything I can hold on to…. I think of legacy….nothing to do with fear, but love…. 0 Reply Pilgrim7 years agoPilgrimLetting go has been the story of my first year of retirement (in progress). So much letting go - the work and the evident grace, the people, the systems. Some of this began long before I walked out the door. Since then, I have also been letting go of other things - a lot of thoughts about what I may/would do. This required that I honor what I cannot do, especially physically (anymore), financially; also hopes and dreams. I notice now feeling just more open and at peace. Most days I am pretty oka... Letting go has been the story of my first year of retirement (in progress). So much letting go – the work and the evident grace, the people, the systems. Some of this began long before I walked out the door. Since then, I have also been letting go of other things – a lot of thoughts about what I may/would do. This required that I honor what I cannot do, especially physically (anymore), financially; also hopes and dreams. I notice now feeling just more open and at peace. Most days I am pretty okay with taking the day as it comes, and taking the time to let things unfold. So I guess I am more “free” of expectations, and free to just honor who and how I am at any particular moment. Lots of people don’t get this at all. It’s not their idea of retirement. But I didn’t choose or will the pathway of these months. In many cases, reality simply provided the truths and limitations, and rather than fighting against it all, I let it go – and yes, sometimes with tears and heartache. Read More2 Reply Aine7 years agoAineI think it makes perfect sense the way you speak it, Pilgrim. You were in a very demanding arena, emotionally and physically, and a time of decompression seems a natural part of healing and transition. Although I sometimes fight it by hurling expectations at myself, one of the gifts of grappling with physical limitations is that it makes us take things more moment by moment. There is, however, great relief when I stop squirming and just let things be what they are, which, as you say, involve... I think it makes perfect sense the way you speak it, Pilgrim. You were in a very demanding arena, emotionally and physically, and a time of decompression seems a natural part of healing and transition. Although I sometimes fight it by hurling expectations at myself, one of the gifts of grappling with physical limitations is that it makes us take things more moment by moment. There is, however, great relief when I stop squirming and just let things be what they are, which, as you say, involves rather a lot of letting go. Read More0 Reply Sheila7 years agoSheilaPilgrim, I totally relate to you. I retired 6 years ago and have never been more at peace. I am so happy you are now feeling more at peace, also. Many blessings and all the best to you. 0 Reply Anita7 years agoAnitaResentments. Perfectionism. Material overload. 2 Reply Hot Sauce7 years agoHot SauceI think maybe I can let go of my need to do extra things, along with the things that need to be done. Maybe for the rest of the year, I can just focus on what is required, so that I will have more time for rest and leisure. 1 Reply John Turner7 years agoJohn TurnerMY EGO (which can be broken down): *My desire to always be right *My need for constant attention/admiration *My negative opinion of myself 4 Reply Michael7 years agoMichaelOpinions, but easier said than done. You see, that’s one right there. And again and again…. I like the Silent Witness, idea, Sheila. And I say that after 40: years in newspaper editorial work..haha, 2 Reply Carol7 years agoCarolWhat am I willing to let go of in order to be a little more free and/or happy? My reaction to this question is also a question: Do you want to be free or happy? I want to be free. I have a wish for all of us and that is to remember (to quote Br. David) that our motivator is either “fear or trust.” That identifying the difference between hopes and hope is very necessary. To paraphrase Br. David: Hopes are something we can imagine with our finite minds but hope is about the unknown. It requi... What am I willing to let go of in order to be a little more free and/or happy? My reaction to this question is also a question: Do you want to be free or happy? I want to be free. I have a wish for all of us and that is to remember (to quote Br. David) that our motivator is either “fear or trust.” That identifying the difference between hopes and hope is very necessary. To paraphrase Br. David: Hopes are something we can imagine with our finite minds but hope is about the unknown. It requires trust. We constantly engage in self talk—filling our mind with regrets about what we can no longer DO or feverishly seeking and trying to find happiness through someone or something. Might we be putting LIFE on hold? Br. David speaks of “BEing Joyful” instead of seeking happiness. Try “doing” joy. It doesn’t work. Life is for living not taking. It is for letting not getting. I think of the song, “Me and Bobby McGee.” It goes: “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. Nothing ain’t worth nothing but it’s free.” I remind myself often that LIFE is FREE. It is a mysterious gift. When I allow my self-talk to shackle my mind with shoulds and woulds and coulds, it’s hard to let life BE. I know today that life is not about performance. It is an evolutionary process and it is trustworthy. In my experience, the willingness to let go is about the willingness to trust–to “lose control to the Spirit.” This is very different from being in control or out of control. It requires moment to moment mindfulness and monitoring of my self-talk. I share a poem I wrote in 1995 when I desperately needed to be willing to trust, to let go of everything. Wings of Willingness by Carol Ann Conner (1995) You too can fly. But that cocoon must go! Anonymous The Butterfly awakens inside the cocoon – TRAPPED. Her wings imbedded in her sides – CHAINED. Her mind is reeling – AFRAID. Every circumstance says she can’t move. She bargains; she pleads. But at last, she lets go. The power of surrender surges through her. Little by little, the darkness begins to fade into light. She’s learning to trust. At last, she’s embracing true freedom. Her prison begins to crumble. Her wings begin to spread. SHE FLIES! Some of us build cocoons from the inside out, And the only way to shed them is to let go. No amount of digging, scratching, or pushing can remove them. Only letting God send those who can comfort and guide, Only letting God peel off one layer at a time will constitute real change. Transformation is God’s business. Willingness is mine. When I can truly let God be God, My wings will spread and I will discover that I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO FLY! Deepak Chopra speaks of the process of transformation in and through the ‘Dark Night,’ [of the soul] that we are now enduring in the world; he adds that many of us are also experiencing it within ourselves. He indicates that it could be compared to the different stages of a caterpillar’s transformation into a butterfly. He describes how the caterpillar spins a cocoon around itself and dissolves inside the cocoon into a featureless grey gunge (sticky, slimy or messy semi-liquid substance); he compares this grey gunge to the chaos and confusion of the ‘Dark Night,’ a chaos and confusion that is also pregnant with new possibilities, pregnant in fact with the experience of the caterpillar’s birth as a butterfly that is genetically and physically as different from the caterpillar “as a bicycle is from a leer jet.” Read More4 Reply Anita7 years agoAnitaCarol, thank you for sharing your poetry, and life experience. I have most definitely been caught up in a web, tangled with what fire to put out first before I can hear guidance in silence. Before I can fly again. Peace to you. 0 Reply Palm7 years agoPalmI love the metaphor about the butterfly, letting go and freedom, especially because my little daughter has a particular interest in butterflies, it will be easier for me to remember to let go and also to let her be, thanks Carol 1 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteYes, Carol! Your posts always make me reflect with joy. I love how you spoke about Being joyful as opposed to seeking happiness. Recently, I have been questioning this idea of joy and what exactly it means to live a joyful life and I think what you just said is interesting. Maybe that is a good way for me to think about it. If I understand what you are saying and Br. David says, it is about finding joy in our everyday lives. What I have learned about gratefulness is that it brings joy in... Yes, Carol! Your posts always make me reflect with joy. I love how you spoke about Being joyful as opposed to seeking happiness. Recently, I have been questioning this idea of joy and what exactly it means to live a joyful life and I think what you just said is interesting. Maybe that is a good way for me to think about it. If I understand what you are saying and Br. David says, it is about finding joy in our everyday lives. What I have learned about gratefulness is that it brings joy into my life with ease. So, maybe when we are mindful, and we Stop, Look and go, joy naturally comes into our lives? I mean we cannot write a list of how to make joy be in our lives? Now I am going to force joy or make it occur? The other day I was thinking about that song too and what she was thinking when she wrote it. Funny, that you too are thinking about it. 🙂 Peace and love to you! Read More1 Reply Amor fati7 years agoAmor fatiPride comes first to mind 1 Reply Sheila7 years agoSheilaLetting go of identifying with my thoughts, the”voice in the head” and instead be the “silent witness” as Eckhart Tolle says. Blessings to all, Sheila 1 Reply Karen7 years agoKarenI am in the midst of a career change late in life (60 years old) which will mean taking 21 credits at my local college and passing an exam to earn an Alternative Licensure for teaching K-8 special education. Here in New Mexico there is a great need for teachers and this program will allow me to begin working even as I take these classes once I am accepted. Anyway, what I struggle to let go of is my own negative speech towards myself about being old. What helps me to rid myself of such thou...... I am in the midst of a career change late in life (60 years old) which will mean taking 21 credits at my local college and passing an exam to earn an Alternative Licensure for teaching K-8 special education. Here in New Mexico there is a great need for teachers and this program will allow me to begin working even as I take these classes once I am accepted. Anyway, what I struggle to let go of is my own negative speech towards myself about being old. What helps me to rid myself of such thou…I am in the midst of a career change late in life (60 years old) which will mean taking 21 credits at my local college and passing an exam to earn an Alternative Licensure for teaching K-8 special education. Here in New Mexico there is a great need for teachers and this program will allow me to begin working even as I take these classes once I am accepted. Anyway, what I struggle to let go of is my own negative speech towards myself about being old. What helps me to rid myself of such thoughts is to open myself to how good I feel making such a commitment. It energizes me in ways that just hoping for the best as my life moves on doesn’t. I see myself working, and needing to work, for another 5-7 years at least, so why not make the most of it, right? I’m going to get older regardless! I’ve also begun a training to teach Kingian Nonviolence, and again what I need to let go of is that I’m too old to have much to offer. And part of that is also the fear of what others will think of me as an older person, that I will be judged. Read More4 Reply Palm7 years agoPalmI am nearly 50 and considering a career change, however, I haven’t yet got a clear direction, so your post gives me inspiration and hope, thanks Karen 3 Reply Ed Schulte7 years agoEd SchulteWhat am I willing to let go of in order to be a little more free and/or happy? Accepting that 'happy" is a time dependent emotion, none the less, I am more then willing to "let go" of all conditioning which impedes my accessing and LIVING fully in the beautiful state of "Conserved In the End" so eloquently identified Baba Dioum's "Word of the Day". "Word of the Day" "In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are ... What am I willing to let go of in order to be a little more free and/or happy? Accepting that ‘happy” is a time dependent emotion, none the less, I am more then willing to “let go” of all conditioning which impedes my accessing and LIVING fully in the beautiful state of “Conserved In the End” so eloquently identified Baba Dioum’s “Word of the Day”. “Word of the Day” “In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.” BABA DIOUM, Read More2 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteThank you for this question. Today I read an article on this site about "practicing deeper healing and seek peace." It was a recipe for meditation which I intend to practice today. The last lines of the article are exactly what I struggle with and that is letting go and not doing anything. I was taught that in order to get anywhere or be anything we had to strive and never stop! This whole concept is ingrained deeply in me and it is almost a kind of punishment inside of that thinks it never quit... Thank you for this question. Today I read an article on this site about “practicing deeper healing and seek peace.” It was a recipe for meditation which I intend to practice today. The last lines of the article are exactly what I struggle with and that is letting go and not doing anything. I was taught that in order to get anywhere or be anything we had to strive and never stop! This whole concept is ingrained deeply in me and it is almost a kind of punishment inside of that thinks it never quite good enough to be accepted or loved unless I do more. The list is long! The list of things I have to do to get “there” is almost an insurmountable task. The feeling of doing or fixing is always there wrapped up and hidden in different forms. Sometimes its disguised in anger, anxiety, disappointment and other times it wears a disguise of the perfectionist, the super volunteer, teacher or super mom. Regardless, of the disguises, I believe that it is that part of me that does not believe I am able to love or be loved just the way I am right now. It is this moment each and every moment of accepting true love. That it could even be possible to accept that I am good enough for that love. Maybe it is how people describe the love of the holy spirit? The love that the second coming was here to teach us. The love that can not die. This is the message of God and the true meaning of surrender. What am I willing to let go of to be a little freer? I must be willing to stop looking at my wounds and picking at my scabs like the article I read here today said. Sometimes we can actually be doing too much and focusing too much. I am willing to let go of thinking that I am not good enough right now for love. I am willing to be content and grateful for each moment of life. I willing now, today, to package up that deep dark passenger who some call the ego and surrender it to trust and love. I am willing to let go and trust in grace and healing. This almost seems like a giant leap off a cliff! I am going to jump! Read More2 Reply Barbara7 years agoBarbaraThank you for sharing this! You are so courageous and honest and I think I understand so well what you are talking about, because I know it myself. Much love and light for your journey, Barbara 0 Reply Palm7 years agoPalmThanks for this post Antoinette, I can relate to all you say because I too suffer from the ailment of needing ” to do”, I will read the article… Glad to see you back and hope you are feeling better, Palm 2 Reply Joanne7 years agoJoanneI wish for you peace today. 1 Reply Christina7 years agoChristinaLetting go of a long-ago pain, and also the attendant “ya-ya’s” I derive from this long-ago situation that keep me bound to it. 2 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteDear Christina, This is exactly what it means to surrender and know we are free. This is that hard part. I hope you can too find freedom from what chains you from not being free. The article here called: “Practice Deeper Healing and Seek Peace was very helpful today. 2 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinFor all of my working and professional life, including a clear call to ministry along the way, I have been very fortunate because each career move I made, and the Quaker children’s retreat program I founded, were all crystal-clear steps in certainty that this is what I should do at that particular time. I always thought that when I retired, I would have the time and ability to do whatever I wanted, especially doing things that would be of direct service to others. As I begin my third year of r... For all of my working and professional life, including a clear call to ministry along the way, I have been very fortunate because each career move I made, and the Quaker children’s retreat program I founded, were all crystal-clear steps in certainty that this is what I should do at that particular time. I always thought that when I retired, I would have the time and ability to do whatever I wanted, especially doing things that would be of direct service to others. As I begin my third year of retirement, however, no clear sense has emerged in terms of “do this” or “that” specific thing. I realize that my chronic back pain issues have severely limited some options that I might have considered. Volunteer opportunities that involve standing or sitting for long periods of time, lifting more than ten pounds and bending in certain ways, prevents me from jumping in to help some worthy organizations. I admit to being frustrated about this reality but I cannot say that I am at peace with it either. Even though I remain quite active with my rowing team (as coxswain), remain active within my faith community, spend time with our grandkids and enjoy photography and blogging, I have yet to feel satisfied that I am doing what I had hoped to be doing once I retired. Though I am in no way unhappy, finding ways to let go of this frustration, or understanding it all differently, would likely make me feel freer for sure. – Kevin Read More2 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteHi Kevin, I believe what you are saying is the many of us feel about ourselves throughout our lives. The fact that we almost always feel that little ting of discontentment. That part of us that is never doing enough and that part of us that can not complete surrender to what is at each present moment be "good enough". This feeling is somehow always there hidden in the background or sometimes taking center stage in our lives. For me, it is my anxiety or drive for accomplishing to be the bes... Hi Kevin, I believe what you are saying is the many of us feel about ourselves throughout our lives. The fact that we almost always feel that little ting of discontentment. That part of us that is never doing enough and that part of us that can not complete surrender to what is at each present moment be “good enough”. This feeling is somehow always there hidden in the background or sometimes taking center stage in our lives. For me, it is my anxiety or drive for accomplishing to be the best possible me. Always looking to accomplish more thinking that in the future, if I do this today, then everything will be better. in other words seeking peace and healing means we actually have to totally surrender to being content on letting go. This for me is the challenge itself. Some call it letting go and letting God. Thank you for sharing Kevin and I hope you are healing. Read More2 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinDean Antoinette, thank you, very, very much for your reply here and for sharing your sense and your wisdom. Could not agree more, actually. The letting go and letting God angle, as worn…and as true as it is, reminds me also of my most favorite quote of all, :”Have thy tools ready, God will find thee work”. – The Reverend Charles Kingsley (1819-1875, England) My best to you my friend. – Kevin 1 Reply Antoinette7 years agoAntoinetteWow thank you Kevin! This is part of what suffering has been teaching me. I’m finding that pain and loss is really amazing. It is truly a blessing. (I can’t believe I just said that !) 0 Reply Kevin7 years agoKevinI’d feel the same way if I had said that too. But, I’m aware that there are ways to make peace with one’s pain, and I think that I need a serious workshop or weekend retreat on that! Thanks, Peace and Joy to you! 0 Reply My Private Gratitude Journal Write an entry in your private gratefulness journal Get Started This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. All donations are fully tax deductible in the U.S.A. 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