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Daily Question, February 20

What habits of mind need to shift in order for me to see more roses and fewer thorns?

  • Elaine

    This question simmered throughout my Tuesday but never quite landed. I question its premise that thorns are unwelcome. As others have noted, there are no roses without thorns – both are part of reality. But – the question also makes me see that I readily default to the negative critic part of me.

  • Sharon

    I realized just today (Feb. 21st) that I am a closet fault-finder, by which I mean that I tend to see the negative much more quickly than I see the positive in any situation. Unfortunately, once I see the negative, that is a filter through which I see the whole situation, and so the roses don't look at big or as pretty or as pleasantly scented. I realize that all situations are mixed (and all people are mixed). I can't ignore the negative because that would be to live in delusion. What I'm wanti...

    I realized just today (Feb. 21st) that I am a closet fault-finder, by which I mean that I tend to see the negative much more quickly than I see the positive in any situation. Unfortunately, once I see the negative, that is a filter through which I see the whole situation, and so the roses don’t look at big or as pretty or as pleasantly scented. I realize that all situations are mixed (and all people are mixed). I can’t ignore the negative because that would be to live in delusion. What I’m wanting is balance. And to deepen my appreciation of the positive while letting the negative rest in the background unless it’s something that needs addressing. Even so, in addressing it, I can’t forget the positive, or I would be unimpressively judgmental. That is the dilemma I’ve newly discovered. How to change that? Haven’t a clue. Except maybe to stop, once I catch myself in a reaction to the negative, and give time to see the whole situation. But that’s an untested guess at this point.

    Read More
  • MrsB

    Avoiding gossip or nagging helps me see more roses. I find that the more I speak positively of others the more positive attributes I see in them and in myself. What we focus on we see more of.

  • Michael

    our mind is truly powerful as are our habits. when I combine my daily habits of 30 (30 total minutes) to be sturdy…grateful, lite exercise, positive reading/viewing/listening, and a motivational video/song/speech/text with other intentionally accurate and positive mindset habits…I can see roses and affect real change.

  • Hot Sauce

    I need to remember that I am capable of co-creating reality with others and that my thoughts have an impact. Of course, thoughts must be accompanied by effort and intention, but with these ingredients, I trust the Universe to provide all that I need to succeed in whatever goal or intention I set. “With God, all things are possible.”

  • Javier Visionquest

    Give thanks for every little blessing and celebrate today’s miracles. They’re everywhere when we look! And if everything is such a big deal then I ought to be able to write a country song for each situation that fails to meet my expectation. Laugh about it.

  • kathleen

    Staying in the present helps me see more roses. We are wired to look out for thorns and they are unavoidable. However life is short and while we can work with all the hard things that come our way because we can’t stop them anyway, we can turn our attention to what is good and pleasurable. I’m thinking of Awakening Joy and /maybe Rick Hanson’s book on the brain that remind us to savor the beautiful moments and those moments will increase.

  • Palm

    Word of the day: "Do your best and then relax. Let things go on in a natural way, rather than force them" Paramahansa Yogananda. This is perfect for me, letting go of second guessing myself and of trying hard for things to "work out"
    In the last few days I have been listening to a beautiful meditation on Insight Timer: "Anxiety Relief" by Oliver Jenkin, he says that mind habits are hard to break because we have been practicing them for a long time, and also that meditation works because it's al...

    Word of the day: “Do your best and then relax. Let things go on in a natural way, rather than force them” Paramahansa Yogananda. This is perfect for me, letting go of second guessing myself and of trying hard for things to “work out”
    In the last few days I have been listening to a beautiful meditation on Insight Timer: “Anxiety Relief” by Oliver Jenkin, he says that mind habits are hard to break because we have been practicing them for a long time, and also that meditation works because it’s all there within us already

    Read More
  • sparrow

    Fear is a habit that looms…
    Sometimes it is in the background
    and I can forget about it,
    but sometimes it stands up straight and tall in my face,
    and I lose sight of what is real.
    I think part of the solution
    is to learn to trust.
    The habit of fear needs to shift.

  • Bree

    focusing on the negative. For every negative thought, state a positive one.

  • Seloi

    Active focus on roses, making time to pause and appreciate little things.
    Talking to the roses and telling them how I am grateful for them.
    When a thorn comes out, make a conscious decision to look for a rose by the side of the thorn

  • KC

    In order to see and experience more roses, I need to place value on them, and take the time to stop, slow down, embrace and experience them. Also to schedule time, as by habit I make countless less worthy things a priority, far too often.

    Thorns in my life like many/ most are easy to focus on and abundant. The invitation in this question for me is to make and take time to literally and metaphorically make and take the time to ‘stop and smell the roses’. They really are everywhere when ...

    In order to see and experience more roses, I need to place value on them, and take the time to stop, slow down, embrace and experience them. Also to schedule time, as by habit I make countless less worthy things a priority, far too often.

    Thorns in my life like many/ most are easy to focus on and abundant. The invitation in this question for me is to make and take time to literally and metaphorically make and take the time to ‘stop and smell the roses’. They really are everywhere when / as I stop to take a look! The practice for me is to decide that the ‘roses’ are important and matter, and to put my attention and energy there, rather than the myriad of thorns along the way. Easy Peasey (or not!).

    Wishing you much beauty and joy on your path today????????????????…

    Read More
  • Marlys Becker

    I need to stop negative self-criticism, living in fear that I am not good enough, and to begin to take care of myself and love myself

  • Amor fati

    Instead of jumping into everything on the material plane without hesitation, please let me begin each action, each conversation, each day with a silent prayer for guidance.

  • Ose

    There are many, but the current important old habits to let go of are:
    to let myself be frightened or intimidated easily, which even could have ended in a kind of paralyzed state. This has been hindering my flow of contribution. This needs to shift, as
    I feel the need to be active more consistently for to realize intentions, may it be through writing or/and in a group of people with similar inner direction. I would like to invest my strengths in a project for the benefit of others.

    In the past...

    There are many, but the current important old habits to let go of are:
    to let myself be frightened or intimidated easily, which even could have ended in a kind of paralyzed state. This has been hindering my flow of contribution. This needs to shift, as
    I feel the need to be active more consistently for to realize intentions, may it be through writing or/and in a group of people with similar inner direction. I would like to invest my strengths in a project for the benefit of others.

    In the past, there have been aspects of anger, which I feel I have been able to let go to some extend at least and can manage emotions much better by now. It is work in progress, but clearly on the list to let go of completely. Impatience is another aspect of the let-go-package.

    To let go of these aspects and to do what is needed, if it is mine to do, and offering my strengths to support while staying aware of the minds aspects not yet balanced.

    Is it then, that I would see more roses than thorns? After all, life is as well music, dancing, singing, having fun as well. I feel to enjoy the rose´s fragrance of life requires some balance between doing my best in whatever I think, feel and do, and enjoying life at it´s best in the given moment. To love and be in the moment is what I meant to say.

    Read More
  • Francine Marie Tolf

    I’ll answer this question not as an opportunity to praise thorns (I think that’s been done already) but as a way to explore how better to enjoy the good in life and let go of the negative. Science proves that negative thought patterns are stronger than positive. It takes genuine work to be happy! But it’s well worth the effort. I have a rubberband on my wrist. I snap it from time to time to remember to smile and think of a blessing. It works!

    • KC

      Thanks Francine. So practical and helpful!????????????

  • Deb

    That is assuming that roses are preferable to thorns. Like so many here have pointed out, you don’t get one without the other. That’s roses and thorns. That’s life in a simple manner of being. The habit I would temper would be to denigrate one and prefer the other.

  • Priya

    thorns and roses are part of one plant. We need both in order to fulfil our journey completely, I would be grateful for both the thorns and roses as they would help me reach my destiny

  • Trevor

    I choose not to ignore the thorns first of all.

    I accept reality on reality’s terms.

    But I can nurture roses in other people and give them as much joy as possible while I battle through the darkness of this wretched world.

  • Debra Maddex

    Overcoming negativity bias (which apparently evolution wired us for!) requires prescence, mindfulness and of course gratitude. It is recommended that we spend more time savouring over the good things we experience. Here’s an article I found with more tips https://daringtolivefully.com/overcoming-negativity-bias

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