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Daily Question, December 3

Who are the 2 – 3 people with whom you spend the most time? How do they support you to be your best self?

  • Patito

    Cris y Fausto. Escuchándome, alentándome en mis proyectos. Viendo por mí. Acercándome a su vida, dándome su tiempo

  • Suzanne Fabick

    I am blessed with much unconditional love and acceptance. My children, siblings, and most of all my God.

  • Doreen Nixon

    I am a loner with no one around me supporting me.

  • Ose

    Changed my post. May I say that your questions here challenge me often to come out of my reserved corner?
    My friends called the love in me to be seen and shared, as you so kindly do here. The love of my chosen mother and my sister strongly supports me. So thankful for all of you! I hope I can shed old shoes. Fear, here I am to face you again. Ages of fear I was not even aware of. Fear once was the fuel to surviving and to fight death. This basal instinct was fixed like in a shock-state! Strengt...

    Changed my post. May I say that your questions here challenge me often to come out of my reserved corner?
    My friends called the love in me to be seen and shared, as you so kindly do here. The love of my chosen mother and my sister strongly supports me. So thankful for all of you! I hope I can shed old shoes. Fear, here I am to face you again. Ages of fear I was not even aware of. Fear once was the fuel to surviving and to fight death. This basal instinct was fixed like in a shock-state! Strength allowed me to fight it “successfully”. But the basis of all was fear of life to be overcome! And I thought it was the fear of death. Now there is space for both in me to be handled with softness and balance. It still may take some time, but is on it´s way now.

    I am deeply aware that I am helped, trusted and loved. It is the help, trust and love of my dear friends and you. And you, and you. To allow change. To allow to let go. To arrive to always begin again. To open up unconditionally and allow vulnerability. To follow my heart no matter what may come and to trust in life, that all will be well, no matter what may be. I now understand more fully the recent cite of Br.David someone, I think it was Ed, made: the opposite of fear is not security, it is trust.

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    • grateful sea

      Dear Ose, thank you for your open-hearted sharing. This question was such a challenge for me, I had not the courage to answer in writing, and yet the desire is so great in me, as you say, to “shred old shoes.” May it be so in you, in me, in all who hunger to break open.

  • elizabeth ward

    This is a tough one for me as I spend most of my time in solitude and silence which I love, because in solitude and silence I am most in touch with the whole world. It was not ever thus of course. I lived for 48 years as a member of a religious order, where all the members supported and helped me in various ways. It was there that I met Brother David. He said that he spent six months every year as a hermit. I thought, 'You lucky man.' The thought did not go away. Ten years later I asked if I co...

    This is a tough one for me as I spend most of my time in solitude and silence which I love, because in solitude and silence I am most in touch with the whole world. It was not ever thus of course. I lived for 48 years as a member of a religious order, where all the members supported and helped me in various ways. It was there that I met Brother David. He said that he spent six months every year as a hermit. I thought, ‘You lucky man.’ The thought did not go away. Ten years later I asked if I could experiment with living the contemplative life. I did this for a year and then decided I wanted to make it permanent. I formally left the order and have been living in a small flat belonging to the order ever since. To get back to the question: everybody is helping me. My neighbour just dropped and helped me with this computer; two taxi drivers helped me; a medical professional made a scan of my bones; the receptionist showed me the way to the car park. All that in in one morning.

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  • Elizabeth M Jones

    My wonderful husband Stanley supports me in every possible way to be my best self. Recently when I said that I have a desire to make a lay commitment to the Cistercian way of life he supported me in every possible way. I could never ever ask for anything more or better or more support. He is just lovely! A saintly man … Stanley!

  • Hot Sauce

    I spend most of my time with my friends Cassidy, Jagger, and Lou. These people have helped me be my best self by teaching me that stigmatizing individuals without getting to know them first is one of the most unloving thing you can do, that even simple activities like watching a movie can teach very important spiritual lessons, that teasing is one of the best ways to bond, and that a true friend respects you regardless of who you are or what you do.

  • John Turner

    One, of course, is my wife. Her sense of morals and humility simply make me a better human being. And the other is not a person, per se: it’s my AA group. And every time I’m around them, those people remind me not only of the man I’ve become, but of the man I once was.

  • Michael

    my wife. encouragement. tangible assistance. genuine love. fun. other than that the grown ups in my life are in group form at different “work” sites. so the other individuals would be my children who provide me part of my “why”, they are fun, they teach me life lessons each day, and they give genuine love. I am each day and all day grateful

  • Christina

    I am in three 12-step programs. God has blessed me with a “sponsee,” (as we call them,) who is in a similar spiritual place as I. It is such a gift! We are currently reading and studying “How to Listen to God,” by Wally Paton, a simple, basic approach to meditation and prayer. I treasure these times, as does she.

  • Kevin

    Of course my wife, Betty Ann would top this list. And I know and appreciate all the many ways that she supports me (as I hope I do her…). The rest of my family, three daughters and their husbands and our six grandchildren, who all live nearby, complete me as a person, dad, family member and grandparent, each in their own way, that I know and feel within that don’t need to be committed to words.

  • Malag

    My spouse and my adult kids. A source of joy, love and purpose for me and keep me on the right track.

  • Francine Marie Tolf

    This is a tough question for me because 4 years ago, I had to leave my life partner because of his heavy drinking. I never stopped loving him, and I did not listen to those to said I had to cut him out of my life. I listened to my heart.

    He has since stopped drinking vodka and he is now is assisted living (and I am proud I helped get him there). But years of heavy smoking and drinking have taken a hard toll on his body and mind.

    No one will ever know me as he does, and I know he sti...

    This is a tough question for me because 4 years ago, I had to leave my life partner because of his heavy drinking. I never stopped loving him, and I did not listen to those to said I had to cut him out of my life. I listened to my heart.

    He has since stopped drinking vodka and he is now is assisted living (and I am proud I helped get him there). But years of heavy smoking and drinking have taken a hard toll on his body and mind.

    No one will ever know me as he does, and I know he still loves me, but it is not and never will be what it once was. I don’t think “Ben” fully understands why I had to leave. I wonder if he even remembers what I call his dark years.

    I am alone a lot and I am grateful that I have pretty deep inner resources. I am grateful for prayer, for books, for my cat…..and for my dvd player!

    Read More
    • Ed Schulte

      Dear Francine

      Since this is a question originally generated a year ago it would be good to hear an update on your progress , particularly any “resources” you might care to mention here, such as, what aspect of Brother David’s teachings, new forms of prayer, what articles submitted to this “Gratefulness site, etc etc, have helped you to adjust?

      Be Well Be Present

      EdS

    • Pilgrim

      Thank you for trusting us with your story, Francine Marie. I so appreciate your loving courage on behalf of yourself and your former partner. You have chosen life, and your deep inner resources are testament to that. Namaste.

    • Anna

      Dear Francine I feel your deep sorrow in your words. You are a poet, let the strenght of your gentle art enlighten your days. I’m praying for you, to find a path for joy.

    • Amor fati

      Francine, your story touched me deeply as it is so similar to my own. I, too, had to leave the alcoholic love of my life to save my own . He died in a nursing home at the age of 53 . I discovered later that I have been greatly affected by my life with him and there were parts of me that needed healing . I got mine through the program of Al-Anon . No dues or fees, no religious requirements , no advice or judgments , and no rules ---only suggestions . Try one more than one group if you don't find...

      Francine, your story touched me deeply as it is so similar to my own. I, too, had to leave the alcoholic love of my life to save my own . He died in a nursing home at the age of 53 . I discovered later that I have been greatly affected by my life with him and there were parts of me that needed healing . I got mine through the program of Al-Anon . No dues or fees, no religious requirements , no advice or judgments , and no rules —only suggestions . Try one more than one group if you don’t find a place where you feel comfortable right away . If the group members are sticking close to Al-Anon’s great traditions you should experience a very safe place in which to share your story and hear others . Much love and blessings on your journey .

      Read More
    • Gina

      Francine,
      Love is a complicated thing and the love most completed is self- love as we are always “enough ” although this is not the message we get in our culture.
      One of the most difficult and yet fulfilling things I have learned is to love my own company and I now find that I yearn for it,
      All good blessings,
      Gina

  • Chelsea C

    My partner of 3.5 years has always been a champion of mine. He reminds me of my light and is a grounding force whenever I feel self-doubt or experience difficult moments. There are a few women in my life who I consider to be soul sisters. At the moment we live far from each other but we make an effort to connect on the phone to check in. Their listening and reflections support my best self, my higher self. They stress the importance of self-care, and assure me that there is support at my back an...

    My partner of 3.5 years has always been a champion of mine. He reminds me of my light and is a grounding force whenever I feel self-doubt or experience difficult moments. There are a few women in my life who I consider to be soul sisters. At the moment we live far from each other but we make an effort to connect on the phone to check in. Their listening and reflections support my best self, my higher self. They stress the importance of self-care, and assure me that there is support at my back and belly whenever I need it.

    Read More
  • I Am

    My wife is one of the people I spend most of my time with. She is my best friend in the world and makes sure I take care of myself.

  • Ed Schulte

    At the risk of sounding arrogant to those not practicing a Christianity along the methods of The Catholic Church or the Essene Christian tradition, but I have reply this way because it quickly answers of, "who supports me "support my best self"." This is a "source" which is both limitless in time and number of "Helper" beings ( and I consider them to be "persons" because they are human in form although not visible to the corporeal eyes) and their presence exemplifies the potential WE Humans ar...

    At the risk of sounding arrogant to those not practicing a Christianity along the methods of The Catholic Church or the Essene Christian tradition, but I have reply this way because it quickly answers of, “who supports me “support my best self”.” This is a “source” which is both limitless in time and number of “Helper” beings ( and I consider them to be “persons” because they are human in form although not visible to the corporeal eyes) and their presence exemplifies the potential WE Humans are.

    Keeping it as simple as possible …… I defer to Brother David’s overview of the Apostle’s Creed …specifically the “Communion of Saints”….as to where this “source” is ……….

    Quote “the Communion of Saints can mean a community of holy people (holy not necessary because they have achieved moral excellence, but because they are consecrated to God, like a holy Temple) in this sense the term is synonymous with ‘church’, but it emphasizes those aspects that go beyond the churches visible manifestation. Most of those who pray the Creed today have this meaning in mind your Christians refer to all members of the church as Saints” ….and further on ……”This community links not only different parts of the world but since the essential bond between its members is the life of Christ hidden in God’s eternal now, it transcends time and links all periods of history. According to St. Augustine, the church belongs with Adam and Eve and endures to the very end of time. The upshot is unlimited belonging.”

    That “unlimited belonging” definitely get beyond 2or 3!!!!!

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    • Antoinette

      Thank you Ed.
      Jesus the Buddha and any of the spiritual and or holy beings that helps us each and every day to practice opening and hearts.
      I rejoice in all holy and ordinary beings.

      • Ed Schulte

        And Lets not forget that each and ever human has a complete and perfect monadic escort, our Guardian Archangel, with us every step of the way back the Theosis.

    • Amor fati

      I find the voice of the Divine coming out of peoples mouths.

  • Mary Pat

    My husband, my son, and my grandson. All three see me differently. My son remembers me as his mother, at different stages and moods in my life that I have forgotten. My grandson sees me as this benevolent person, who rarely sees me do anything wrong, and my husband sees me as the adult he lives with daily. It is good for me to remember I am all three….

  • Gina

    I share my best self and not so best self with my close friends, my husband, closest friend, I spend most time with
    all people I spend time with help me to be my best self by trying to be my true self in most groups- increasingly I choose to spend less time in large groups and more and more time with 1 or 2 people just being together, that seems most to be most ideal for being my best self and always am so grateful to have the chance to be with others and share time together, having deep connec...

    I share my best self and not so best self with my close friends, my husband, closest friend, I spend most time with
    all people I spend time with help me to be my best self by trying to be my true self in most groups- increasingly I choose to spend less time in large groups and more and more time with 1 or 2 people just being together, that seems most to be most ideal for being my best self and always am so grateful to have the chance to be with others and share time together, having deep connection.

    Read More
  • Gina

    my best self and my not so best self are shared with a few people- husband, close friends but it is all people who help me be my best self.
    more increasingly I spend less and less time with others in bigger groups and when I do , I wish to be my true self and that also helps me to be my best self
    my most very best times are spent with just a friend or two talking and being together.

  • Kevin

    Of course my wife would be first in line, as she knows me well, inside and out and supports me 100% and is thoroughly honest with me, even when I don’t enjoy hearing it! The rest of my family, who are all nearby, which is a wonderful gift, just completes me as a dad, grandfather and overall person. After that, come people from within my faith community, and of course the merry band of people I row with three times a week! I am blessed.
    – Kevin

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