What if I asked each person I encounter how they truly are? And listened?

I had a conversation with my partner about this recently because I have always taken issue with asking people how they are without expecting a genuine answer. Recently, I’ve been struggling with severe moodiness, and I have taken to telling people how I actually feel when they ask. Sometimes I preface that by asking if they genuinely want to know or were just being polite. Regardless, it helps me tremendously. Conversations are much richer, and just sharing lightens my own emotional burden.

I recently had a very long, helpful conversation with a friend that started because he emailed me and asked how I was.

Last year, I regularly took a bus with a Sikh driver. He had made conversation with me a few times when I got on. I responded then sat down because I didn’t really know what else to say to him. Then several hate crimes targeting Muslims (and sometimes Sikhs, who are confused for Muslims) disturbed me, including an unprovoked attack in my city on a Sikh bus driver.

I decided to begin talking to my driver everyday, just to show that I meant no harm. I learned a lot about him. He had owned a home but had to sell. He had two children, and his daughter was on a swim team. I had been on my college’s swim team, so I was able to talk about that. He had stopped eating meat recently, and I have been vegan for several years. He recommended a really good restaurant in the area.

Eventually, I got to know other people on the bus too.

In my experience, listening and sharing brings solace. When my mood is at its lowest point, I feel isolation, loneliness and scarcity. Inviting other people in, getting to know them, makes me feel full.